Anxiety in relationships negatively affects the successful development of a union between a man and a woman, and prevents the couple from enjoying this relationship. Recently, I have encountered many such cases in my professional field, when one of the partners has repeatedly shown love for his other half, and he or she, instead of love, feels only unhappiness, anxiety and worries.
In other words, it can be called an anxiety disorder. This disorder can create serious relationship problems. It can generate mistrust, which gradually “destroys the successful foundation” of the relationship. But, what if the anxiety in the relationship does not allow you to live peacefully? And how can we overcome this anxiety disorder so that it doesn’t diminish our chances of finding happiness with our loved one? We will talk about this further.
1. Determine the root cause of the problem
According to many psychologists, if a person already experienced anxious attachment in childhood, then, most likely, he will transfer this anxiety into a romantic relationship. Moreover, this disorder is exacerbated when a man or woman regularly recalls painful experiences from the past. Rediscovering old wounds, especially memories of neglect and rejection, can make a person yearn for over-intimacy in the present. Therefore, anxiety in relationships often arises from the fact that we are afraid that we may be left alone again.
For example, for some reason, you broke up with your loved one when you were younger. And you see that the same circumstances are repeated in new relationships. As a result, you fear problems in your current relationship, although things may be going well enough.
Therefore, first of all, be sure to engage in introspection. Think, perhaps, you were too spoiled as a child? Perhaps you are an introvert who often recalls grievances from the past? Think about these things. And this will help you understand from what angle you need to start solving the problem.
2. Deal with your fears in the relationship
Relationship anxiety quite often arises from various fears and doubts about our partner. So deal with your fears first. Here are some ways to deal with fear in a relationship:
- Imagine your relationship is falling apart. Then imagine falling in love with another person who treats you even better than your current partner. This will show you that you will not remain lonely and unloved even in the worst case scenario.
- When you feel anxious or worried, just think to yourself, “It’s okay. I have nothing to worry about. We’ll be fine. I can handle everything. “
- Encourage your partner to communicate effectively. Because poor and irregular communication can increase anxiety and raise doubts about your future together. Therefore, encourage your partner to communicate with you in clear and unambiguous terms. Clarify various issues that you do not understand regarding your future together.
- Be open to your partner. On your part, you also need to be open to communication. Be patient with misunderstandings. Give your partner an opportunity to express themselves freely to dispel any doubts. Also, make him feel like you will listen to him carefully and appreciate his point of view. Then he will tend to communicate with you more effectively. And this will motivate him to maintain an open relationship.
Encouraging your partner to communicate well can help you overcome relationship anxiety.
3. Work on self-confidence
Remind yourself often that your loved one is not doing you a favor by maintaining a relationship with you. Tell yourself that you are also enriching his life. Also, think to yourself that no one can be the best lover or spouse for your partner. And back it up by showing constant love for your partner.
Tell yourself every day, “I’m a successful woman. I am a wonderful person / spouse. I am a person who can make my partner happy. I’m also smart and quick-witted. My partner loves me and I love him. ” Also write down the 20 main things you love about your body and your personality, and recall them as often as possible when you feel anxious in a relationship.
Think about how you can positively impact your relationship. Write down 10 ways you can improve your relationship. This will make you feel more confident and relational anxiety will no longer be a problem for you. Think about all the words of love that your partner says to you more often. Also, remind yourself of the love he shows you on a daily basis and work to build trust in your relationship.
4. Get rid of doubts
Trust that you are still interesting to your partner. Ask him regularly if he loves you. When your partner says words of love, take their word for it and allow yourself to calm down. And when you feel that your self-esteem is falling again and you start to get depressed, just tell yourself: “He confirmed that he loves me. So I am a desirable woman. And we will be fine. ”
5. Learn to be independent
Independence will help you focus on yourself and your personality. Strengthening your personality in a relationship or marriage will make you feel like you can live without that person. Here are a few things you can do to strengthen your personality.
- Refrain from calling or texting your loved one, especially at work. Except for emergencies. When you are in the office, fully think about your job and yourself. Think about your vision for your life and your career aspirations.
- Refrain from constantly visiting your partner’s social media pages, rereading their text messages, or viewing the call history on their mobile phone. Instead, take care of yourself and your hobbies, especially in your free time.
- Spend the weekend with friends or work colleagues. It will help you strengthen your relationships with others so that you can loosen your attachment to your loved one.
- Live away from your partner for a while. Take a trip with friends abroad. Give each other more freedom in relationships.
- Chat with other couples. Make friends with people who already know and have experienced relationship anxiety. Find out how they learned how to get rid of this problem. Learn tips and tricks to help you become more calm as your relationship develops.
6. Get professional help
Several medical conditions, such as clinical anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and personality disorder, are generally associated with attachment anxiety disorder, according to a recent study. Perhaps a pathological condition could be the cause of your problem.
Therefore, if you are unsuccessfully trying to deal with relationship anxiety and you are failing, then see a doctor who is knowledgeable about the topic. There are doctors who are experienced in helping people like you. He will be able to quickly identify the true causes of your worries, and will give concrete steps to resolve them.
To overcome relationship anxiety, be sure to find the root of the problem and deal with your inner fears. Also, work on your confidence and independence. Work on yourself regularly. Build your strengths. Spend more time on your hobbies and interests. Live a fulfilling life. As a result, you will notice how anxiety and worries will begin to leave your life, and will be replaced by joy, happiness and tranquility.