Some women fall in love just because they can trust a man. In other words, they can open their soul to this person, let him into their personal space, entrust their innermost thoughts and feelings. Very often, trust is compared to a glass vase: if it breaks, it can be glued, but it will no longer be the same. So it is with trust: once burned, a person for life can stop trusting others. But without trust, you cannot build strong and harmonious relationships. In this article, we will talk about the psychology of trust and how to build trust with your loved one.
Why trusting each other is important in a relationship
Psychological training is often a wonderful exercise in trust. The person takes place in the center of the room, and the rest of the participants stand around him. The task of a person: to close his eyes and start falling, so that those around him are caught. Surprisingly, not many people can do this exercise because they don’t trust people. A similar situation is in love: we must find such a person who would “pick us up” in any situation, and we must be able to trust ourselves.
At the beginning of a relationship, we usually look closely at the person and decide whether to trust him.
Why trusting each other is important in a relationship
We expect a man to be trusted in the following situations:
- When we ask him to carry out an assignment, to do something;
- When we observe his behavior in the company of other women: is he fond of flirting, is he admiring a long-legged beauty;
- When we ask for help and support in a difficult situation.
Sometimes a woman cannot correctly analyze a man’s behavior and understand whether to trust him. The reliability of a man is manifested in the little things, and the woman intuitively feels it.
You should not trust a man who has betrayed your trust several times. There is practically no chance that his behavior will change in the future.
How do you know that a man can be trusted?
Observe the manifestations of his character in different situations. A man is trustworthy if he:
- Honest and decent;
- Confident in himself and knows how to achieve his goals;
- Possesses life experience, knows how to cope with difficulties;
- Knows how to listen and understand the interlocutor;
- Deals with unworthy people;
- Respectfully treats other women, speaks worthily about his former relationship;
- Behaves culturally and politely in society;
- Knows how to control himself.
When in doubt about trusting a man, listen carefully to what he likes to talk about. Pay attention to what he laughs at – this is his value system. Trust a man if he is not laughing at other people, but with them. And all the more it is worth trusting the man who knows how to laugh at himself.
How to learn to trust a man in a relationship?
Do not judge all men in the same way, there is a very high chance that a worthy person will meet on your life path. Even if you have had negative experiences that make it difficult for you to trust men, you need to try to forget the past and move on.
We understand that it is difficult to restore lost trust, so we have selected useful recommendations for you:
- Work on yourself, change your attitudes and way of thinking. Think about the true reasons for your disbelief. Sometimes a woman cannot trust men, because in her childhood there were traumatic events, for example: a divorce of her parents, a difficult family situation, rejection by her peers. In order to identify negative attitudes, you can engage in introspection or contact a psychologist. A specialist will help you analyze past experiences and change your outlook for the better.
- Analyze how distrust affects your relationship with your loved one. Perhaps, if you trusted him more, then many problems in your couple could be avoided. Both of you could be happier.
- Learn to think positively. Imagine what the worst can happen if you trust a man? This is probably a breakup for one reason or another. Now look at the situation from the other side: how many pleasant, happy moments do you lose if there is no trust on your part in the relationship? You should be glad that you met a person and fell in love with him, and not a single couple is insured against a possible separation.
- Improve your self-esteem. Praise yourself more often and chase negative thoughts away. Don’t allow yourself to be self-flagellating. Some women do not like themselves so much that they are constantly in tension, expecting deception from loved ones. Love yourself and remember: you really deserve to be happy.
- If you are continuing a relationship with a man who once betrayed your trust, try not to remember an unpleasant moment from the past. Each of us has the right to make a mistake, the main thing is that the partner realizes it and changes his behavior.
How to build trust in a couple?
- Be honest. Don’t be afraid to openly express your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Talk about fears, worries, embarrassments, things you don’t like about the relationship. If you are afraid to show yourself to your partner from the worst side, then there is no trust between you. A truly loving person will accept you for who you are and appreciate your sincerity. You should not tell a man about physiological details (for example, about painful depilation) or overly intimate moments, because a woman should have a mystery.
- Be yourself. Do not “try on” yourself in a relationship with the image of the woman you are not really. If you are a quiet and humble person in life, you should not rape yourself and try to become the star of the party to impress a man. On the contrary, you should tell him that you feel uncomfortable in a noisy company. If you are dear to a man, he will take care of you and will not allow you to feel uncomfortable.
- Listen carefully to the man when he tells you something. Do not interrupt without listening to the end, do not ask leading questions, do not translate the topic if the conversation is not interesting to you. A man should know that you will listen to him; should feel that you are not indifferent to his words. Realizing that you can be trusted, he will try so that you can trust him to the fullest.
- Do not be tactless when trying to get to know the person better. Respect your man’s past, past relationships and life events, even if you are negative about some of the points. You should not persistently ask inappropriate questions, for example, about the reason for his separation from his last girlfriend, if he himself does not want to talk about it. Over time, when your relationship becomes more trusting, he himself will tell everything that he sees fit. Do not criticize his behavior, let your reasoning do not boil down to two extremes of good / bad.
- Comment on your behavior. In order not to get into an awkward situation and gain the trust of your partner, you need to explain to him the details of some events and the reason for your behavior. For example, he witnessed a situation when you yelled at your mom on the phone. Explain to your partner why this happened so that he does not perceive you as a cruel and ill-mannered person. Another example: you are texting with an ex-boyfriend. Don’t wait for your partner to start asking questions, just tell yourself briefly what it was about. Thanks to this behavior of yours, your partner will begin to behave in the same way.
- Never sort things out in public. Protect your relationship from interference from third parties, even your closest friend. All mutual claims are best discussed in private. Safely keep the secrets of your loved one and do not discuss intimate details of your relationship with strangers.
- Compliment your beloved man and praise him more often. But only if he deserves these words. If you do not like the actions of a man, you should immediately tell about it. When criticizing a man, do not forget to praise him. It is very important that your partner understands that you are not dissatisfied with himself, but with his behavior.