Is it possible to remain friends with a former partner, and what should you do if you received such an offer? At best, this means that the partner wants to downgrade the relationship from romantic to one in which you will be just friends. But usually people mean the following: “I am breaking up with you because I found someone else.”
But can you be friends with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it worth it to try? In this article, we’ll take a look at some of the pros and cons of such a friendship. And also we will analyze the pitfalls that you may encounter.
Friendship with a loved one is not easy
It’s actually not easy to translate romantic relationships into friendships overnight. This is fraught with certain problems. First, if you were not the initiator of the breakup, then you will have to cope with anger and resentment because your girlfriend / wife / boyfriend or husband does not want to continue the relationship. It will be even more difficult if the other person cheated on you and pretends that everything is fine. It will probably be easier for you to remain friends if you are the kind of person who wants to end the romance. Because in this case everything will be in your hands.
The decision to remain friends is a personal decision of each person. But in most cases, your pride or resentment will not allow you to take this step. But, if you sincerely like a person, and you really want to have at least some kind of relationship with him, then you should not discard this option.
Reasons to stay friends with your ex
If we’re talking about staying friends with an ex, then we need to consider a number of reasons why people remain friends after a romantic relationship. Here are some of the most common reasons:
1. Having joint children
If you have children together, then the question of whether you can stay friends with your ex will be very helpful. Firstly, it will be easier for children to survive the separation of their parents, and to cope with the separation. You will not involve them in this painful and psychologically destructive struggle.
This step will also help you do better parenting. In fact, many successfully divorced parents still get together on the holidays, send gifts to each other, and try to maintain good relationships. This, in turn, is a good example for children.
2. Common friends
Can you stay friends with an ex-partner for the sake of mutual friends? I think yes. After all, if you had a lot of common acquaintances, then after parting with your partner, this circle can quickly narrow. This way, you will still keep in touch with them and have fun. It will also eliminate any awkwardness, and will allow you to meet together as before.
3. Family and relatives
If you have a good relationship with this person’s family, and his family fell in love with you, then you will want to keep in touch with them. And if you maintain a friendly relationship with your partner, then this will allow you to communicate and see both his family and him. So if friendship with these people is really important to you, then letting go of a complete breakup can be helpful.
4. You have a chance to get everything back
If you want to come to terms with this person, and return everything as it was before, then remaining friends with him, you maintain a relationship, thanks to which, in the end, you can revive the romance. Just be careful that this strategy does not lead you to more confusion, and does not interfere with moving on in life.
When shouldn’t you be friends with your ex?
1. If this offer is painful for you
You don’t have to try to be a good guy or a good girl just to please your ex and stay friends with them. If continuing this relationship in any way is painful for you, then reject it. This is true in cases where a person has cheated or cheated on you in the past. Then it is likely that he will be just as bad a friend.
In this case, it will be better to simply remove it from life. Be sure to remove toxic people from your path. And, if you cannot bear the thought that you will see your ex with someone else, then stop any connection with him.
2. When you can’t live a fulfilling life
In some cases, if you remain friends, you will not be able to move on and live a fulfilling life. You remain stuck in a sex relationship. It’s like a cloudy day that is neither sunny nor really dark, but something in between. It can connect you to the past. Therefore, it is better to draw conclusions and move on.
3. The emergence of problems with new partners
If you haven’t decided to live the rest of your life alone, you will start dating again. Let’s face it, most new romantic partners you will date will feel threatened by keeping in touch with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. They may have good reasons for being jealous. Because they know it is possible that the spark of love has not yet completely extinguished between you. So maintaining a friendship with your loved one can prevent you from finding true love.
4. If friendship leads to false hopes and jealousy
If you hope to ever get everything back, then you may just be wasting your time. You can restrain yourself from looking for a new partner based on unrealistic expectations. Sometimes it works. But, if you remain emotionally attached to this person, then you will often have to deal with resentment and jealousy. Many friendships end badly. Because people cannot cope with new realities and their own feelings.
5. If someone tries to use you
Some couples in love who later become friends use each other for emotional support. They will call to report a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Or vice versa, they will ask for your advice. Friends should support each other. But listening to your ex talk about sex with other people is a little frustrating.
It’s even worse if casual sex happens between you. It often leads to even greater misunderstandings and bitterness when you then say that nothing can be between you. Sometimes it’s best to just avoid the temptation and take a full break.
Know that friendship with your ex is dangerous to your future relationship and your ability to move on with your life. If you remain friends with your ex, be prepared that this friendship may not work out. Sometimes it’s best to break up completely and avoid these ambiguous emotional contradictions and an ambiguous future.