Most people agree that in marriage there should be no barriers to communication between husband and wife. Unfortunately, many couples do not know how to communicate properly. It is important for us to understand that there are differences between speaking and communication. When you communicate, you are better able to convey your point of view to the person, as opposed to talking.
There are many reasons why interpersonal communication can fail. There are many barriers to communication between men and women. Barriers can distort your message, and you risk causing confusion and misunderstanding in the person. Effective communication involves overcoming these barriers and delivering a clear and concise message to your interlocutor.
1. Physical barrier
Physical impairments such as hearing problems or speech problems can interfere with communication. Physical barriers to non-verbal communication when we are not using words can also contribute to misunderstandings. Failure to see non-verbal cues, gestures, posture, and body language can make communication less effective.
2. Fear in relationships
Unfortunately, many women face violence and humiliation in their marriage. It is a sad fact that some husbands change after marriage, make their wives obey and fear them. Fear destroys communication. The wife may give a little power over herself, but she should never be afraid of her husband. There should be no fear in love and relationships. If present, such a relationship is doomed to fail.
3. Unwillingness to listen to your spouse
The inability or unwillingness to listen is a terrible barrier to communication between husband and wife. And I myself very often come across this in my life. There are situations when we communicate with my husband, he speaks, and I think about what I want to tell him. While he is talking, I am waiting for the opportunity to tell my story, but I am waiting, not listening. This is the whole problem. Or sometimes, when he speaks, I see that he is mistaken about something, and at that moment I stop listening to him. But no matter how your spouse talks, you need to show respect and focus on him. Listen carefully to your partner to the end, and then express your opinion.
Put yourself in the shoes of someone you don’t listen to. How do you feel in this case? Do you want to communicate with him in the future when he disagrees with what you said and interrupts you at every step? Or asks questions not related to the topic of your conversation. All these things show a lack of interest in a person or a topic of conversation, and a complete lack of politeness. Your partner will feel embarrassed, worthless, humiliated, and rejected. But if you give him your close attention, he will feel worthwhile, valuable, and happy. So be sure to show respect for your spouse. To be a good listener, you must:
- Don’t let your preconceived ideas and prejudices get in the way of listening;
- Pay attention to non-verbal communication such as facial expressions, eye contact, and gestures. They can convey a message other than verbal;
- Encourage the other person to speak;
- Ask questions. This shows interest;
- Don’t interrupt;
- Don’t change the subject;
- Show understanding and respect;
- Avoid distractions;
- Show empathy;
- Listen to feelings, not just words.
4. False assumptions and stereotypes
People often hear what they want to hear, not what they actually tell us. As a result, they draw the wrong conclusions for themselves. Such barriers are also called internal. If you find yourself in a situation where you think that the person with whom you are talking will not understand or is not interested in what you are saying. In the end, you can subconsciously sabotage your efforts to voice your dissatisfaction. You will use dismissive language to alienate your spouse. Imagine a situation where someone yells out inappropriate phrases or calls their partner names and thinks they are stupid. This screaming specimen ultimately looks ridiculous. After all, he simply fails to convey his thoughts in an understandable way.
5. Feelings of resentment and understatement in communication between husband and wife
Holding a grudge is the wrong strategy in any relationship, and it certainly won’t improve the communication between a husband and wife. If you constantly think about resentment, then the pain, anger and anger will only increase. You will begin to remember other situations in which you have been hurt. Try to get rid of this. Be decisive and talk to the person about how you are feeling. Waiting and holding a grudge will definitely not work. And your communication barriers will only increase. You need to talk about everything with your spouse. At the same time, be honest and treat him with respect.
6. Excessive employment and family worries
In the first year of our marriage, my husband and I communicated very well. And at that moment we did not even realize how wonderful it is when we have so much time to communicate with each other about everything. But when our children were born, I began to take care of their upbringing and household chores. And my husband had to work harder to provide for our family. We are not even that, began to neglect communication with each other. And our relationship gradually began to cool down. And our marriage turned into living together and raising children. This kind of life is really boring. To make a marriage romantic, the husband should not get so busy that he cannot communicate with his wife. And the wife should not be so busy and neglect communication with her husband.
7. Emotional state when communicating between husband and wife
The emotional state of a partner is a frequent barrier during communication between a husband and wife, which affects how a person expresses his words and how they will be perceived. For example, if a wife is under stress, she will be preoccupied with personal issues and not as involved in the conversation as she would normally. The anger and anger that is often present in marriage is another example of a psychological barrier between husband and wife. When we are angry, it is easy to say things that we will later regret. In addition, we can misinterpret what our partner is telling us. If a person has low self-esteem, they will become less assertive, and therefore feel uncomfortable in communication. He may be embarrassed to say what he really feels, or he will read negative connotations in messages that were not there. So don’t be afraid to say what you think and don’t get too involved in your emotions.
8. Cultural differences
Cultural differences can have a significant impact on communication in a marriage. The norms of social interaction vary greatly across cultures, as does the way in which emotions are expressed. We get used to the way we communicate with our family, loved ones and friends. And it can be difficult for you to find a common language with a person if he has completely different values and norms.
9. Emotional barriers and taboos
Some people may find it difficult to express their emotions, and some topics may be completely off-limits to them. I have a good friend with whom we often talk about communication between husband and wife. So, he always says to me: “My wife and I are so busy with work and church that we do not have time for fellowship.” Of course, I tell him that you just need to find time for communication, no matter what. But he doesn’t take that into account. Yes, we are all constantly busy, but this is not a reason for our communication and relationships to deteriorate.