Communication problems between a man and a woman.

Some people feel they cannot express their feelings and emotions to their partner. If this is your case, you are not alone. Communication problems are very common in all types of relationships. There are many reasons why people cannot communicate clearly or directly, which will be discussed below.

What we know for sure is that communication problems make you exhausted and you lose hope in a relationship. For this reason, you need to learn how to deal with these problems. Keep in mind that communication is a gift and should be treated as such. Once we begin to understand its importance in our relationships, we can begin to use it in the right way to have more loving and fulfilling relationships.

What are the main communication problems

Communication problems change with the age of a person, we all begin to learn to communicate when we are young. Our parents became our first role models at an early age. It is likely that you have the same communication problems as them, so blame them for your problems (this is a joke). However, not all is lost, we can learn to communicate better and get rid of those bad habits called communication problems that we learned from mom and dad.

There are major communication problems that tend to affect relationships. Below is a list of some of these problems:

  • Lack of self-confidence. A person cannot be firm in his point of view and does not have the ability to clearly express what he feels or needs;
  • Inability to listen carefully. A person hears words coming out of your mouth, but does not listen in order to understand;
  • Using disrespectful language. The only known form of communication is disrespectful and abusive language, which also includes shouting and loud bangs;
  • Contempt or muffling the voice of another. A person wants to be listened to, but refuses to listen to others, he simply does not consider the opinion of his partner.

Tips for Better Communication

1) Communicate regularly

Don’t wait for a conflict to arise to determine how you will react. Make socializing with your partner a regular part of your day. You don’t need to talk a lot, start by asking simple questions and encourage your partner to answer as you understand. Take turns talking as you do this, you begin to learn to respect each other’s point of view and practice your listening skills.

2) listen carefully

Show your partner your close attention. Make sure that noise in your surroundings is minimized, turn off the TV, put your cell phone away, in general, you need to disconnect from everything that distracts you. Pay attention to the details, your partner will give you “keywords” to help you understand. Listening carefully is a great way to show love and respect.

3) be persistent

You must express yourself clearly, concisely, and firmly. Your partner needs to know exactly what you mean. Avoid vague words and remember that if you cannot understand yourself, your partner will not be able to. You must first know exactly what you want and then try to convey it in a clear way.

4) avoid contempt

The way you see your partner has to do with how you communicate with them. If you do not find him valuable or worthy of respect, it is likely that you will be disrespectful to him when you interact with him. If this is your case, then there may be a problem that affects the relationship, and you may need more than just these tips. Watch therapy sessions or relationship coaching.

If something of value attracted you to your partner, and although feelings change, the person’s values ​​do not change. When you communicate with your partner, remember that you are both different and you have different values, but each of you is valuable in its own way.

5) do not communicate with anger

We all know that when we get angry, we say what we don’t mean. Often the words we say when we are angry cannot be returned and they have already caused damage that is difficult to fix. You need to avoid communicating when you are angry, especially if you tend to release your anger through offensive words.

Want to avoid communication problems?

1) Communicate regularly

Tell your partner that you are interested in doing something a little different. Explain what your goal (better communication) is and how you plan to achieve it together. Make an appointment for a cup of coffee at home or in a cafe, and let this be the beginning of regular communication. After that, make sure you both take the time to talk about your day and the events in your life. Talk about your feelings, but remember to talk about the things that make you uncomfortable because it will help your partner get to know you better.

Do not think that because you have been together for many years, this person knows you completely. In fact, there are many things that you have yet to discover. So go ahead and start sharing these things. Remember, this is part of your intimacy. If necessary, set a timer on your phone to remind you of the time you have set aside for your partner. Just don’t do it when you are doing other things.

2) listen carefully

Our generation has been rewarded with advances in technology, but this has negatively affected the way we listen to each other. I recently heard someone say that technology has brought us closer to those who are far away and we are moving away from those who are near. And this is indeed a sad reality. You don’t want this to be the case in your relationship. Whenever you are talking to a loved one, you must pay close attention to him. This may sound confusing, but it may require you to turn off your phone and other devices that are distracting your attention.

For some people, listening attentively comes naturally, but others need an extra push. Communicating regularly with your partner will help you determine what type of listener he is and will help you determine what type of listener you are. You must listen carefully to your partner’s needs. If you followed the first tip and already have time to listen to your partner, you may now need to create a welcoming and relaxing environment in order to listen better.

3) be persistent

To be assertive, you must consider your partner’s emotions and needs. You must express your point of view while respecting their opinion. However, you don’t need to feel guilty about wanting more romance or spending time alone. There should be no shame or guilt in wanting what your partner doesn’t want or need.

If you’ve followed the first two tips, you now have a foundation on which to build sincere and direct conversations. Tell your partner exactly what you want. I had to put it in bold for you to understand. Don’t assume that your partner is responsible for all the phrases that pop into your head. Once you are clear about your needs and emotions, be firm, but also be willing to compromise. Remember that you are in a relationship with someone else, not yourself. Assertiveness doesn’t give you the freedom to be selfish.

4) To eliminate communication problems – avoid disrespect

It doesn’t matter what relationship you are in. The person you have chosen to share your life with should command respect from you. If you’ve applied the aforementioned tips, it is likely that you are already giving your partner love and respect.

What you need to do often is to reflect on how you feel about each other and the value you place on each other’s role in the relationship. What your partner has to say is valuable and must be respected, even if you disagree.

5) do not communicate with anger

Anger is a very bad state. What you need to do at this point is ask your partner for a break. Say that you will have a conversation later when you deem it appropriate. If you or your partner feels the need for a timeout, do not insist. Respect the fact that your partner chose to calm down before speaking. But do not take too long a break, as your partner may interpret this in their own way. Your partner should never feel ignored. This is why you should practice regular communication so that the moment communication becomes impossible, your partner knows what to expect.