Could a second marriage be happier than the first? This seems impossible to many people, because they already have a negative experience of building unsuccessful relationships, so they have little faith in creating a successful union. But in this article we will give some effective tips to make your second marriage more successful than your first one, and so that you can build a happy and harmonious relationship with your new person.
1. Let go of the past
You must let go of what happened in your first marriage or previous relationship. You need to let go of your worry and not hold grudges against your previous partner. How? Many people benefit from communication when you share your experiences with others. This could be a good friend of yours, a close relative, or someone you trust. But don’t talk about it just to complain, talk about it with the intention of letting go of your past.
You can also write about this in your diary, but no one should read your story. After writing, you can burn your letter, or write it on a computer, but put a password on the document so that no one can read it. This is a great way to work through your feelings and forgive someone.
One of the biggest keys to liberation is forgiveness. Forgive yourself and forgive your spouse. This is all in the past, and any bitterness you still have will poison you in the present. Forgiveness does not mean that you approve of his / her actions, you just no longer hold a grudge against that person.
2. Put your new partner first
Some people may have problems with this advice. After all, they believe that it is impossible to make a second wife or husband more important than children or close relatives. But it is one of the best ways to create a happy marriage for both you and your children. After all, when children see that there is harmony and understanding in the family, as a result they will be calm, knowing that they will not have to go through another divorce.
How to put your new partner first? First, always take an interest in his plans for the day, for the week, and adjust to them. Make sure you have enough time to be together. Don’t let anyone (including your kids) disrespect your new partner, and generally give them priority in your life. This behavior will build confidence in your relationship and make it more successful.
Making a spouse more important in life does not mean putting children in last place, and not paying attention to them. The needs of children are important and adequate time should be given to them. The point is to give the children as much attention as they did in their first marriage.
3. Be patient
Remember, you won’t be able to build a successful second marriage in a few days. Statistics say it takes seven years for a new family to fully adjust. So don’t expect everything to be perfect in a month or even a year. There are many issues to be addressed in a new marriage. These are finances, the relationship of a new partner with children, household chores, intimate life, personal independence and many others. All of these things take time, and that’s okay. So don’t expect your new marriage to be perfect at first. It won’t happen overnight. But be patient if you understand that you can create a successful union with this person.
4. Satisfy each other’s needs
In order to make your second marriage happier than your first, you must meet each other’s needs as much as possible. This is not always easy, and not always possible with all new circumstances (children, work, household chores, and so on). But this should also be your priority.
What are his or her needs? You must learn this and make an effort to implement them. There is also a lot of literature on this topic if you want to study this issue comprehensively. Or you can just ask your partner: “What is important to you in relationships and in life? What do you want me to do for you? ”
Men generally need respect and intimacy. Women need more love and affection. Other needs will vary depending on the person’s personality, but it’s important not to take your partner for granted and not do what we think he or she will enjoy. Communicate more with each other and find out what your partner wants.
5. Say love words to each other more often
Say beautiful words of love to your new partner as often as possible. Say that you love each other, despite the difficulties in life and the lack of time. You should say this to each other when you say goodbye and go to work, when you go to bed or wake up in the morning. The words “I love you” will help strengthen your marriage as it is a constant reaffirmation of your commitment to each other. This will help you return to love and strong feelings.
6. Start some kind of joint business
When people do something together, their relationship becomes stronger. It can be anything: a joint project, raising children, or caring for pets. At the beginning, my relationship with my second husband was also not absolutely perfect. But after that we got two cats, because, as it turned out, we both love animals very much. As a result, caring for cats is something we love to do and something we do together often. Therefore, there should also be things in your family life that you do together. They will bring you closer together, and you will understand each other much better.
7. Don’t forget about yourself
In order to make the second marriage happier than the first, it is really important to have some kind of joint business. But besides this, you need to rest from each other, and take time for yourself beloved / beloved. Why is it important to do things on your own? In order to reduce the inevitable quarrels and conflicts that you may have, this is really important! There should be things in your life that are separate from marriage. whether it is jogging, individual friends, computer game or knitting. Just maintain your personality – this is very important and is part of any healthy relationship.
8. Make new friends
Make new friends who didn’t know your ex, didn’t know you or your real spouse. You need friends who will not compare this marriage to the first. You can find new people in communities according to your interests, both online and offline. Only I am not suggesting that you abandon old friends, you don’t need to do this. Old friends are time-tested, so you don’t need to spoil your relationship with them. You just need to find people who won’t talk about your past relationship and remember your ex.
9. No need to build an ideal
If you want to make your second marriage happier than your first, then you need to understand that none of us is perfect, and each person has his own flaws, and this is quite normal. So there is no need to hope that your new partner will be perfect in everything. Such thoughts prevent us from accepting reality, and we cannot take a sober view of the situation. Take it easy on your partner’s shortcomings and focus more on their positive qualities.