Many people feel guilty after breaking up, as they take full responsibility for the end of the relationship. If you find yourself in such a situation, you should be well aware of the reasons for the breakup in order to avoid depression and psychological problems. The first thing to do is find out why you are feeling this pain. Finding your true cause can help you overcome your feelings of guilt after a breakup and start living your life again.
1. Make a firm breakup decision
It is very easy to feel guilty after breaking up if you are unsure of your feelings for your ex. Make the final decision to break up with this person. Otherwise, you will be drawn into this emotional turmoil of guilt and regret. And you will continue to feel guilty about leaving the person. Tell yourself that every decision you make is made consciously and for the common good. The temporary pain after a breakup is nothing compared to what you might feel if you doubt your decision. Just believe yourself and say you did the right thing.
2. Realize that you have been honest with your partner.
It may not be easy to tell someone that you don’t love them, but by doing so, you will be honest with yourself and your partner. You deserve credit for your courage and directness. Think how much worse it will be to continue a relationship that doesn’t make you happy? I know that many people do this. But what’s the point? Better tell yourself that you did everything right and stop blaming yourself.
3. Remember the reasons for the breakup
Parting can be caused by both minor and serious problems between partners. Think about the reasons that made you break up. Perhaps this was due to your ex’s excessive jealousy. Or you were forced to leave, because you did not see prospects in the development of relations. When you begin to feel the pain of loneliness, remember these reasons. And don’t forget about them if you want the feeling of guilt after a breakup to go away.
4. Think about the shortcomings and bad habits of your ex
This is similar to the previous point. Try to remember your partner’s bad habits. Perhaps he treated you badly or insulted you. He abused alcohol, smoked, or had a character that does not fit into the image of an ideal partner. This will help you return to your normal emotional state, and the feelings of guilt after the breakup will begin to fade.
5. Think of the breakup as a favor to your partner.
You could keep lying to the person about your feelings, manipulating them, staying in the relationship for personal gain. You could pretend to love your partner in order to have sex with him. But you did not do this, but approached the situation responsibly, thinking not only about yourself. You were honest and made the right decision to end the relationship for your common good. As unpleasant as it may seem, if you have lost all hope of developing love, then you did everything right. You should remind yourself that you have done your partner a favor by ending the relationship early.
6. Your relationship had no future.
You may have started a relationship with this person because you were fascinated by their attractiveness. But time has shown that his true personality was the complete opposite of what you expected. Your shared views on the future were incompatible for some reason. Stop feeling guilty about the breakup by reminding yourself that your relationship just had no prospects.
7. Realize that your ex will move on.
You shouldn’t be watching him on social media and seeing how he is doing right now. After a while, he will find himself a new partner. So don’t worry about it. Your ex, like yourself, can be much happier in new relationships. And instead of feeling overwhelmed by the breakup, use it as motivation and let go of your guilt.
8. Don’t judge yourself harshly.
Stop thinking that you were responsible for all the problems that ultimately led to the breakup. In any relationship, both partners must make equal efforts to be effective and constantly evolve. You, like your partner, have different preferences and needs that need to be considered. If this does not happen, then a break is inevitable. Don’t blame yourself for ending the relationship. You did everything you could, and even if you were wrong about something, forgive yourself so that the feeling of guilt after the breakup no longer haunts you.
9. Remember what you had to get rid of for the sake of a partner
You can instantly relieve the pain if you remember what you should have done in this relationship. For example, you’ve started spending less time with your friends. Since your loved one wanted you to be only with him. Or fought with your parents who didn’t want to accept your partner. Think about all the sacrifices you made for this person. These memories can help you make sure you made the right decision. If your ex didn’t appreciate such actions, then this is not your person, and you deserve a lot more.
10. Think of your pain as a natural human reaction
Feeling guilty about a breakup or a broken heart is a normal human reaction. It can be inevitable, even if you are absolutely right about everything. Don’t be discouraged or force yourself to re-enter the relationship you wanted to end. Understand and acknowledge your guilt as a natural response. Rise above this feeling, realizing that it is difficult to avoid. And you must actively move on by learning from your past mistakes. Don’t be afraid to take responsibility for your actions so that guilt after a breakup doesn’t bother you anymore.