Today I want to talk to you about how having a child changes life and relationships in marriage. I am a mother of two children and I know very well what difficulties I have to face during this period. In fact, these are not easy times, but every woman should go through them, of course, thanks to the support of her spouse.
How it all starts
You met, fell in love, and life sparkled with new colors. You learned how wonderful it is when you have a person next to you who loves, appreciates and respects you. At this moment, you want to be only with him, you can talk on the phone for hours, and you feel like the happiest person in the world. Then you got married and are enjoying the beginning of your life together. There is no limit to your joy. Every day is unforgettable for you, and the nights pass in passionate hugs and kisses.
After a while, you receive the good news of a positive pregnancy test. The excitement, panic, happiness and stress of the responsibility ahead fill you with conflicting feelings. You are not yet fully aware of how the birth of a child changes your life, because, at this moment, immense joy strikes your loving hearts and fills you with positive emotions.
How children change our lives
Marriage and life in general, after the birth of a child, is not what it was before. Spouses no longer have free time to relax, meet friends, or do their favorite things. You are starting to attend various family events more and more and you realize that now your priority is the child. You must give him love, and do everything so that this tiny man grows up healthy and happy. Of course, at first you don’t work, and your family budget starts to decrease. You have less sleep and much more responsibility.
You will feel weak and tired almost all the time. At times, you will feel fear when the child will cry, and you will not be able to understand the reason and help him. If earlier you loved to travel light, now there will be a lot more bags and suitcases. The physical side of a relationship can also change dramatically. Due to fatigue and emerging problems, sex will fade into the background. After the baby is born, it may take a long time for you to feel a mutual desire to have sex again. The correct approach in such a situation is patience, understanding and the desire to find new ways to express physical affection.
Just do not think that having a baby changes your life only for the worse. After your baby is born, you will discover useful new skills and hidden talents. Every day will be like a surprise. You will have new acquaintances and friends. You will discover an inner strength that you have not noticed before. You will understand that taking a shower is a luxury, not to mention a trip to the hairdresser. And you will find that things that once seemed important are now meaningless. You no longer rush to work and look at the clock, now the child sets your daily schedule. Start sleeping anytime you get the chance. And when you wake up, you will be happy that your child lies nearby.
The desire to have another child
After the birth of your first child, everything is going well for you, you start to feel comfortable in your new image, and you even like the role of a parent. But suddenly, one of the spouses has a desire to have another child. At this point, you have already forgotten how the birth of a child changes life. Therefore, you decide on one more happiness in life. After such a decision, life can really end for many parents. Why is it over, you ask? After all, children are a joy for parents. I agree with you. But it all depends on how the parents approach it. Many people have even more problems after the birth of their second child. Trying to be alone with your spouse, or just to relax, is a luxury. And financial problems become the cause of quarrels and disagreements.
How to deal with difficulties after childbirth
- Help each other;
- Avoid quarrels and disagreements;
- Create opportunities for communication;
- Save your intimate life;
- Love each other and treat everything with understanding.
This period was really difficult for me. I had a lot of tasks and too little time to get everything done. In addition, I began to feel guilty that our children were in kindergarten for 10 hours a day, and I spent so little time with them. I decided to go up to my boss and ask if I would be allowed to work part-time. Thank God I got a temporary part-time job.
After that, everything began to improve a little. I realized how intense anxiety and depression I had due to lack of time. Reducing work-related stress has helped me become a more resilient person. I have more time to complete my tasks. It made me feel so much better and my whole family benefited from my decision. During this period, the children have already become older and more independent, which certainly helped us. We began to communicate more with my spouse and spend evenings together.
Be grateful for these difficulties
Yes, having a baby changes your life and your relationship with your spouse. But I love my children very much, and they give me the deepest joy and make me happy. Regardless of what we had to go through, these sleepless nights, quarrels, tantrums, financial problems, after a while, I understand that it will be worth it. Children are such a joy. They now give me strength, energy for life and prosperity. Next to them, I again feel like the happiest person in the world.