How is social media disrupting marriages?

It is believed that a person who is active in social networks is also active in a living society. Without proving the correctness or erroneousness of this statement (this is a topic for a completely different article), we will try to understand something else. The number of Facebook friends or Instagram followers affects not only our relationships with others, but also the stability of the home. Have you ever thought about it?

The benefits of social media in family relationships

1. If you are temporarily separated from your soul mate by treacherous circumstances, you will mentally incessantly thank the bright minds of mankind for a great invention. You are always in touch, and it’s even practically free.
2. It is easier for you to shape your general leisure time. No need to puzzle over where to go together on the weekend. On the contrary – just have time to clean messages from invitations to various events.
3. You and your beloved in one instant can be united by many common (but not binding) topics. Funny Internet memes and pictures of the day spread across the network at the speed of light precisely because people throw “viral” content to each other in order to laugh together. And in the evening, at dinner, it’s also fun to discuss the hits of the day.

Disadvantages of social media communication

However, on this, the pluses smoothly turn into the reverse side of the coin. Researchers have shown that about 30% of people use smartphones and other gadgets to communicate with their loved ones on social networks – instead of calling and hearing their own voice. With a feeling of inner shame, the author of these lines is forced to admit (since such an acute social topic is raised) that sometimes it seems to me easier to send an instant message on the network than to shout from one room to another. But these are flowers compared to how some couples manage to correspond, silently sitting at a table with laptops opposite each other during the evening tea.

• The lack of personal space within the family is a serious problem of our time. To find out that a girl has quarreled with her husband, it is enough to check the column “Marital status” – many young people, in any conflict, sin by immediately, allegedly, in revenge, put a mark “Not married” or even “In active search.” Or you can just as well flip through a virtual wall where quotes in the style of an offended girl (“Relying only on yourself is a great way to stop being disappointed in people”) will tell you more about the account owner than a whole day of live communication with her.
• Friendship requests from former lovers. Innocent message: “Hello, how are you?” from a person with whom you were once associated with Shakespearean passions, can cause jealousy and scandal. The person on the other side of the monitor might not have meant “nothing like that,” but in ordinary life it would hardly have occurred to him to purposefully seek you out in order to personally ask how you are doing. And in the era of social media, please. Light flirting, which does not oblige anyone to anything, and the illusion that you and your ex-boyfriend are still friends. Illusion. To spare the feelings of a partner, some couples decide to exchange account passwords with each other. But this is an individual choice of everyone. If you honor the limits of your personal space above all else, then you shouldn’t. True, there are men who are ready to arrange daily interrogations on the topic of how you know that pumped-up brunette on a motorcycle that you recently have friends with, and demand to re-read the girl’s personal correspondence. However, with pathological jealous people, we hope, you and yourself are not on the way.
• First love sometimes comes back. True, sometimes jealousy is justified. In social networks, it is interesting to find not only school friends, but also to see what happened to first love – what it looks like, whether a bald head or abdomen appeared, whether he made a career, whom he married. Wow, curiosity is a terrible force! And if, after the incident of many years, people again begin to remember the tremulous feelings of their young years, it is easy to fall on the hook and again feel like a schoolgirl or student with buckling knees. As you remember the whirlwind of emotions at the age of 16-18 – wow, my heart is pounding! And at home what? At home – gray everyday life. And you start to doubt: what if you haven’t lived all these years at all? And so – vegetated in anticipation, until fate again pushes you against the first and only. And the fact that he is also married is a mistake of adolescence or a marriage by duty, by necessity. Against the background of such an emotional outburst, people can do great stupid things, confusing passion and memories with real feelings, destroying families and getting only a candy wrapper called “love”, which you both happily savored and ate many years ago.
• Destructive statistics. And again about the sad: every third divorce in the world today occurs because of the notorious social networks, because the number of cheating because of them has tripled. There are no barriers, the choice of partners for communication is a million. This is how dangerous games sometimes begin. Sadly, when conducting sociological research, 80% of people admit that it is better to trust and talk about intimate or painful with online friends, and not with a husband or wife. This is the ground for family conflicts.

How to avoid family discord over social media

In order not to fall into the networks of the epidemic of the XXI century, you can use the advice of psychologists. Just ask two questions and answer them honestly: 1. For what purposes do I need a social network? 2. How far am I willing to go when dealing with online strangers? Having a clear understanding of your own motives will help you avoid getting into an unpleasant situation.

Even if in your family there are now scandals, disagreements or banal fatigue from each other, do not rush into the pool with your head. Virtual communication creates the appearance that your opinion is appreciated, and you are understood at a glance, but this is only a parallel reality. After all, it was not for nothing that you decided to share your life with the person with whom you live under the same roof – which means that communication with him inspired and motivated you. It remains to bring back these sincere conversations.

If you’ve already started socializing with your first love, be smart about your true motives. To satisfy simple curiosity (how life was), text communication is enough. But if you feel a desire to meet in person, it is worth considering: perhaps not all is well in your own family if you are looking for a replacement to get positive emotions. In this case, it is better to refuse to meet and sort out family problems.