To get through this difficult time, you need to know what mistakes you shouldn’t make after a divorce, and how to focus on letting go of the past and re-opening yourself to new people. After reading this article, you will find out why women remain unhappy and depressed after marriage dissolution. And how to avoid mistakes after parting with a loved one.
Post-divorce mistakes women make
Mistake 1: Feeling unhappy
In fact, many of us make mistakes after divorce. But, if you feel abandoned and unhappy, then you risk remaining in this state for a long time. You will communicate with your friends, and every time you meet, they will look at you with a feeling of pity, but they will not be able to help. You need to get rid of this feeling, as it can take root in your consciousness for a long time.
How to get rid of this feeling
Feel free and try to see new opportunities in life. Become a confident and attractive woman. Forget the word – failure or misfortune. After all, what we think about ourselves greatly affects our mood and our feelings. I know many women who quickly went through a divorce and became happy again.
Memories of your failures will not help you move on. And it will only interfere with the creation and development of new relationships. You need to realize that you cannot be the only reason for the breakup. Continue to live on, because you still have a lot of time, and memories of the past will only interfere.
Mistake 2: Drinking alcohol or pills
After a breakup, you will have different feelings and emotions that you want to get rid of with alcohol or pills. I know your heart is really tough, but you shouldn’t use these methods. I was in the same situation, and I could drink a whole bottle of wine a day, and so on for several months. But as a result, it gave nothing. I only muted those feelings for a while.
How to overcome this desire
Think about yourself as you were before marriage. Remember those happy days and the feelings that you experienced. Think less about breaking up, even if you feel sad and resentful. Don’t let them stay in your mind for a long time.
Mistake 3: Wanting revenge
Divorce is a difficult event for anyone. When you are faced with different feelings and emotions, you have many questions that you cannot find the answer to. Also, some women are looking for ways to get revenge on their ex. These thoughts only prolong the pain of your breakup and keep you from thinking about the future. You need to try to let go of this situation and start building a new life. You will not be able to move on with feelings of anger and resentment.
Seeking revenge only prolongs the pain of divorce when you have to focus on moving on.
Mistake 4: Feeling lonely
I have spoken to many divorced women, and most of them have felt a sense of emptiness and loneliness for a long time. You must understand that there will always be a person with you who will never leave you – that is you. The quality of your life and the building of new connections depends entirely on the relationship with yourself.
How often do you look at yourself in the mirror now? After divorcing my husband, I constantly avoided myself. I was about 10 kg overweight and I hated my figure. The clothes that I liked before didn’t fit anymore. But at one point I realized that the person who will never betray me and will always love me is me. After that, I decided to make significant changes in my life. I started waking up earlier, doing yoga, meditation and sports. These ways have allowed me to see new paths in my life. And I rediscovered myself to new people and feelings.
Mistake 5: Refusing help
Mistakes after a divorce can be different and one of them is the refusal to help. You can try to sort out your feelings and problems yourself, listen to audio recordings with various trainings. But in most cases, you will continue to suffer and not receive the support you need. So you don’t have to give up the help of other people. In my case, it was a therapist who helped me a lot.
Mistake 6: thinking about how you could have saved the relationship
How much time do you spend thinking about what you could do to keep the relationship going?
I think these thoughts very often arise in your head, I had the same thing. These endless thoughts constantly kept me awake. I constantly thought that maybe I needed to do something completely different. You must accept the fact that everything has already happened and stop blaming yourself for what happened. Start accepting your life for what it is, otherwise, your suffering will only intensify.
Control your thoughts and words. It has a big impact on your life.
Mistake 7: being obsessed with being right
When you are obsessed with being right, you live in the past and hold on to what was. Your truthfulness does not allow you to control your emotions and feelings. This is the bitter reality of truthfulness in relationships. As long as you stick to the truth, you limit your access to all of your positive emotions.
Mistake 8: keeping things that remind you of your ex
When emotions cool down after a divorce, you start thinking about a new life and new connections. But the things that surround you will remind you of your past marriage. Material possessions are linked to your past. It is advisable to get rid of it as much as possible. I know that some things are of great value to you and it will be difficult for you to part with them. But the first thing you need to get rid of is the bed, since you spent a lot of time on it with your ex. Do this and you will notice how it becomes easier for you.
I started getting rid of things quickly enough, first, it was my clothes in the closet, which I emptied 70%. It was really difficult to part with them, but after that there was an impulse in my life and more room for new things. Plus, it will help you move on to a new and meaningful life.
Mistake 9: Desire will meet him again
You may be tempted to meet with your ex and try to repair the relationship. But, if not enough time has passed and you have not learned your lessons after your breakup, then this will not lead to anything good. You need to spend more time on yourself and learn from the lessons divorce has taught you.
Until you get rid of the qualities that attract people like your ex, you will find yourself in similar situations again. Divorce is a signal that you still need to work on yourself and develop. The relationship you create with yourself determines your appeal.
Mistake 10: hiding something from children
Mistakes after parental divorce also negatively affect children. You need to be as honest with them as possible, talk openly about everything and not hide anything. Do not try to evoke in them something that was not there before with the help of toys. Your children will be able to live and grow with a parent who respects themselves and will always love them. In addition, by your example, you teach your children, and in most cases, in their adult life, they will do the same. And if they grow up in a family where love between parents is fragmentary, then this can also affect their future relationships.
Make it your first goal to tell the whole truth to your children, no matter what happened or what mistakes you made after the divorce. Stay true to yourself and educate your kids so that they know how to behave in adulthood.
Life after divorce
Many women make mistakes after divorce, but if you avoid the main ones, you can quickly create a new and happy life. You will have more energy and enthusiasm for everything you do. Your health and fitness will be even better than before marriage. And the relationship with your children will only grow stronger.
These are the main mistakes we make after divorce. And remember, don’t live with guilt. You still have a lot of time ahead of you to build a lasting and happy relationship.