So, here are eight skills to complete. Then gradually make them a part of your life, and then you will inevitably become self-confident.
Skill 1: 100 and one confidence
There are no people in the world who are completely confident in themselves or, on the contrary, completely insecure. We all feel confident in some contexts and insecure in others. Believe me, there are times when you feel absolutely confident in yourself and don’t worry a bit. For example, while you are brushing your teeth. Or while chatting with a close friend. Or maybe when you read your favorite book.
Think about situations like this in your life. Take a piece of paper and a pen. The first thing you need to do in order to become more confident is to remember a hundred things that you do with confidence. Situations in which you feel at ease and at ease. They can be serious or not so, small or global. The main thing is that during them you feel calm and calm. Write a list of one hundred such things, and then start each (every!) Day add one more item to this list. From now on, you need to feel confident about something every day.
Skill 2: Incorporate Confidence
Now let’s work on situations in which you feel insecure. This can be a meeting with a new person or a business meeting. Or, for example, a parachute jump. Exam at the university. Job interview. In short, any event that makes you nervous or anxious.
In order to learn how to stop worrying in any such situation, remember how you felt while doing something with absolute confidence. Choose from the first task, from the list of a hundred things, several such actions during which you are completely, one hundred percent confident in yourself. Actions in which you are unshakable and absolutely calm.
Skill 3: Turn off criticism and identify yourself differently
If you have embarked on the path of increasing self-esteem, stop criticizing yourself. Urgently! From now on and forever. Every time the inner critic utters your favorite, already familiar word “dumb” or “fool”, thank him for wanting to make you better and say goodbye to him. Then replace the critical word with the word that characterizes your best version. Only call yourself who you want to be. For example, the word “dumb” can be replaced by “smart” or “smart.” The word “thick” is almost slender. And stuff like that.
Our subconscious mind always realizes what we say and what we think. Every time you call yourself a bad word, you are programming your brain to live up to that word. He tries to bring you closer to what you think of yourself. Therefore, think of yourself only in those words that characterize the one you want to be!
Skill 4: The Power of Small Praises
The most pleasant and simple, but at the same time the most important way to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem is praise. Whenever you are praised, take it personally. Take only good things into your account.
Do not listen to or accept criticism, even constructive ones, until you feel that your self-esteem has risen and established itself in your positions.
The power of small praise is enormous. Do not belittle their importance, they are the ones that shape your self-esteem. Learn to praise yourself a hundred, two hundred times a day, and you will very quickly feel a change for the better.
Praise yourself especially when you didn’t finish the job or did it not quite right. It’s at times like this that you’ve criticized yourself before, right? But if you learn to praise yourself, for example, that you were late for work, but came with perfect styling, or that you did not finish the project on time, but did not overload yourself with work. If you learn to turn your criticism into praise like this, your brain will learn to find the positive aspects of your every action. Self-praise will teach your brain to focus on what you’re good at. Even in those things in which you previously noticed only a reason for self-criticism. By doing this 180-degree focus of attention, your self-esteem will grow quickly and confidently.
Habit 5: Confidence is the number of repetitions
Take a piece of paper and a pen. Write down any situations in which you feel insecure. Add to this list whenever you feel uncomfortable or anxious. And start adding these actions to your day plan every day. That is, for example, if you are hesitant to communicate with new people, start doing it more often, almost every day. Run into situations in which you feel insecure especially. To really boost your self-esteem, step out of your comfort zone and never go back there.
Confidence is usually equal to the number of repetitions. If you are not sure about something, it simply means that you did not do it much.
Think for yourself, you always confidently do what you have done a million times already. Let meeting new people (write your insecurities) become your new hobby. Make it your thing. Embed in your life the belief: “I am open to new acquaintances.” And get acquainted, get acquainted, communicate more.
In less than a couple of months, you will forget about the insecurity when communicating with new people. And (voila!) You have to move this to the list of things you can do with absolute confidence.
Skill 6: Treat Yourself with Love
Begin to treat yourself with love. Some people think that self-love and self-confidence are the same thing, but in reality there are many differences between the two. To understand what self-love is, read my article “How a woman can love herself.” She explains what is meant by the words “love yourself.”
Skill 7: Breathing is the Foundation of Confidence
Breathing and confidence are two mutually reinforcing processes. Just as lack of confidence and heightened anxiety cause intermittent breathing, intermittent breathing also creates uncertainty and anxiety. And in exactly the same way, correct, full breathing becomes the cause of self-confidence.
Why are breathing and self-confidence so closely related? Because a person with low self-esteem at the subconscious level believes that he does not deserve to take up a lot of space and “take away” a lot of air. You may not realize it, but you literally want to take less for yourself than you leave for others. And this is directly related to your breathing.
Skill 8: Understand and Root Cause
In order to fundamentally become a more confident person, you need to understand and acknowledge the reasons that have instilled in you insecurity and lowered your self-esteem. When you understand the reasons, you have the opportunity to control this process. The processes of awareness, as well as the implementation of the skills of a self-confident person, you can be guaranteed to carry out in work with a specialist.
I am a psychologist, and I conduct individual consultations via Skype. Together with you at the consultation, we will be able to determine what exactly in your life is the cause of your insecurity, and we will work out these reasons, as well as lay the skills and habits of a confident person at a fundamental level.