Passion in the early stages of a relationship is natural and predictable. It seems that this will go on forever. But time passes, and the relationship turns into another channel. More important things seem to come to the fore – friendship, responsibility for raising children, maintaining a common household. But at the same time, the less positive emotions a couple gets in bed, the more claims arise against each other. Why is this happening?
Let’s consider the main reasons leading to the extinction of passion. Physiological factors include:
1. Violation of hormonal levels in women.
Hormonal shocks accompany women throughout their lives. The body is rebuilt during pregnancy, lactation. Expectant mothers react differently to sex. Some have libido, others completely abandon intimate relationships. This is often explained by poor health, fear for the correct development of the child.
Lactation leads to a decrease in the production of estrogen, suppresses ovulation, as a result, interest in sex disappears. Changes the hormonal background, reduces sexual activity, taking contraceptives, diseases of the female genital organs.
The production of estrogens is sharply limited with a decrease in ovarian function, the onset of menopause. The female body is designed in such a way that the dying off of the reproductive function leads to the extinction of sexual desire. During sex, a woman feels discomfort due to vaginal dryness, which does not add passion to intimate relationships.
3. Decreased potency.
The onset of erectile dysfunction in men occurs due to the abuse of bad habits, diseases of the prostate gland, past sexually transmitted infections, stress. After 40 years, testosterone synthesis decreases. A decrease in potency does not directly affect sexual desire. The man is oppressed by thoughts of his possible failure in bed, which aggravates the problem. In most cases, it is possible to return sex to a relationship, since insufficient erection can be corrected by doctors.
Often the extinction of sexual desire does not depend on physiological changes in the body. The decrease in sexual activity is influenced by psychological factors, improper lifestyle, external circumstances, unwillingness to be sexually attractive. These factors include:
1. Failure to comply with work and rest hours.
It has been noticed that businessmen, managers of various echelons, regardless of gender, do not follow the work schedule and stay in the office until late. As a result, they do not get enough sleep. Such workers cannot afford the required annual leave. Fatigue and irritation build up. The body is under tremendous stress, there is neither strength nor time for a full-fledged sex life.
2. Stressful states.
Cases of loss of close relatives, jobs, serious illnesses, and divorce are especially dangerous. These stressful events often lead to depression, loss of interest in life and, accordingly, in sexual relations. These situations aim the body for survival, not pleasure. With frequent quarrels, misunderstanding of each other’s needs, stress arises, leading to a lack of libido.
3. Deterioration of material well-being.
When there are enough funds to meet material needs, the couple creates an environment favorable for receiving pleasure, including in a full-fledged sexual life. With a decrease in the level of income, there is dissatisfaction with oneself, the prevailing circumstances. All efforts are directed towards finding ways to eliminate this situation. The couple begins to conflict with each other, the level of claims to the partner increases. Alienation arises, making physical intimacy impossible.
4. Rejection of a partner because of his appearance.
The first time after meeting, partners look in the best light. Women with makeup, hair, high heels that accentuate slender legs. The men are clean-shaven, neatly dressed, and smell of perfume. But with a long life together, a man and a woman cannot always be in the “parade”. If there are no strong feelings, the sexual attraction fades away.
If excess weight in men reduces the amount of testosterone, then weak libido in obese women is associated with psychological problems. They don’t accept themselves as they are. Fat women are ashamed of their weight, they feel unattractive to the opposite sex. Low self-esteem can lead to one-off sex, frequent partner changes. Usually outwardly they are cheerful, relaxed, pleasant to talk to. But when it comes to bed, women are pinched, unable to get orgasm.
6. The presence of children.
With the advent of children, the responsibilities of parents increase. Young children are often sick, do not sleep at night when teeth are teething. At this time, parents have no time for sex. Another reason is the elementary lack of living space, when children and parents are forced to sleep together.
The loss of the sensual side of life also affects the extinction of passion. After all, long-term relationships are not based on sex alone. The loss of love, respect, as well as giving the wife only the role of a mother or a man as a mentor, a father leads to the fact that the partner ceases to be perceived as a sexual object.
How to bring passion back into sex
If the reason for the extinction of libido is not of an irreversible physiological nature, then you can bring novelty to the relationship, establish a spiritual and physical connection. In order to increase sexual attractiveness, become desirable for your partner, and return to your former passion, use the following tips:
1. Watch yourself.
This is especially true for the weaker sex. You should not wear a greasy robe at home, walk with dirty hair. Remember that men love with their eyes. They need a beautiful picture that excites the sexual imagination.
- There is a wide variety of cute homewear on modern marketplaces. Purchase several sets of sexy lingerie.
- Style your hair, use perfume. Be attractive and smell good not only at work, at a party, but also at home.
- Watch your figure. Do not overeat “sweets” that increase the size of the waist.
- Buy a subscription to the fitness center, invite your other half with you. Exercise improves shape and health, which contributes to a vibrant intimate life.
If a woman loves with her ears more, this does not mean that a man can walk around the house in tights with outstretched knees, be unshaven and smell bad. Women negatively perceive bad smells, they may consider the unkempt appearance of a man as a manifestation of disrespect for himself. Basic hygiene rules will help to return sex with your wife.
2. Change the decor in the bedroom.
If you want sex to happen more often, choose the appropriate color when painting walls, buying textiles, flooring. Chromotherapy experts advise decorating the room in lilac and purple tones to enhance sexual attraction to your partner. The dim light of a night lamp with a red lampshade will help to return passion to sex. Silk bed linen is preferable. The best colors for the manifestation of masculinity are red, brown, golden, emerald, white. Avoid shades of gray that can dull your sex drive.
3. Prepare the right food for romantic dinners.
No fatty foods and strong alcohol. Do not use onions, garlic in cooking. Oysters, other seafood, turkey, mushrooms excite sexual appetite. Of the fruits, the following have a positive effect on potency: pineapple, bananas, avocados, citrus fruits. Condiments – celery, asparagus, ginger. It is recommended to end the dinner with honey, dark chocolate. Don’t cook too much, just one salad, main course, and dessert. Do not forget to lay a beautiful plain tablecloth and candles. Put on some soft music. It has been proven that the saxophone has a positive effect on increasing potency.
4. Get a hotel room, go for a picnic.
A change of scenery, new impressions and the absence of problems set you in a romantic mood, are able to return sex to the family. This is facilitated by relaxation, delicious food and drinks.
5. Have a heart-to-heart talk.
Misunderstandings, accumulated dissatisfaction with each other are neutralized through frank emotional conversations. Conversations help to better understand each other, find out what is important for a partner and what does not suit him in you. Ask for forgiveness for the wrongs. Such conversations contribute to the establishment of sensual and sexual relationships.
6. Practice sex in unusual places.
Excites the imagination of intimacy in the office, elevator, outdoors. The feeling of danger, based on the fact that you can be seen at any moment, ends in a violent orgasm. These actions smell like adventurism, but the game is worth the candle. Such moments are engraved in the memory for a long time, there is a feeling of belonging. The couple is restored to sexual relations.
7. Challenge your partner to jealousy.
Do your hair, put on evening make-up, put on a sexy dress. Go with your partner to a restaurant, guests, where there will be no shortage of men who are ready to look at you. The main thing here is to know the edge, you cannot show signs of attention to the opposite sex yourself. Your partner will be proud to have such a gorgeous woman who interests other men.