Human life is not a random set of events; it develops according to a scenario that begins to form in childhood, and sometimes even before the birth of the person himself. It’s good when this scenario is positive. And if not? In the previous article, you could read how to analyze it. And now we will talk about how to change the life scenario. And it is quite possible to do this, because this is not a fate predetermined from above, we ourselves create our own scenario settings, which means that we can correct them.
What is a life scenario?
The life scenario can be traced in the patterns that happen to us. It is a certain program, repeating itself over and over again, leading us to the same result. The life scenario is not realized. The same result is always a complete surprise to us.
We start writing our script as soon as we are born. Being very small, we choose a certain attitude for ourselves, and then we diligently seek confirmation of it. The fact is that the world around him seems hostile to the baby, so he is constantly looking for the best way to survive. For example, if the birth was difficult, the child may think that he almost killed his mother – accordingly, he is bad. In adulthood, such a person, because of this childish decision, will be haunted by an incomprehensible sense of guilt.
It is quite possible to break out of the vicious circle and stop coming to the same result. To do this, you need to realize the scenario that already exists, write a new one and return the new scenario to the unconscious. You can understand your scenario with the help of your favorite fairy tales from childhood.
Looking closely, you can find similarities between the most beloved fairy tale and life story. You can analyze not only fairy tales, but also your favorite films or cartoons. To do this, you need to describe the plot of your fairy tale as you remember it. It is important to identify the patterns of fairy tale and life history.
There are three types of life scenarios: winning, losing, and commonplace. The winner in the winning scenario achieves his goals, and this brings him joy and satisfaction. The loser, on the contrary, does not achieve the goals, or the achievement of the goal is not accompanied by a feeling of satisfaction and joy. For example, you can pursue a promotion at work for years, but when you become a boss you feel nothing but fatigue. In a banal scenario, a person does not win or lose: without risking, he does not achieve much success and prefers to “just exist”.
Basically, we mix these three types. For example, we win in our personal life, at work we choose a “banal” life scenario, and in sports we lose.
Is it worth changing the life scenario
A person can answer this question only himself. A life scenario is a kind of life plan that develops under the influence of family traditions, upbringing, parental prescriptions and our childhood grievances and decisions.
Often a person does not even suspect about his existence, he is only surprised and distressed when over and over again “steps on the same rake” and seems to run in a vicious circle. It seems that he makes a lot of efforts, and spends nerves, and resources, but nothing changes for the better.
Of course, everything is not always so tragic and hopeless. There are many families in which positive life scenarios are formed, and children are brought up as independent individuals who are responsible for the quality of their life. But now we are not talking about them.
And if a person constantly complains about a failed life, an unsuccessful career and dysfunctional family relationships, then you need to seriously think about how to change the life scenario.
Where to begin
The first stage is an awareness of the need for cardinal changes, and you should start them with yourself. But in order to understand what exactly needs to be changed, you need to understand the life scenario, analyze it and find the causes of problems and failures. A person is far from always ready to admit that the fault lies with himself, or rather, on that plan of life, in the compilation of which he played an active role, even if he was small and did not understand anything about what was happening. More often people are inclined to blame some external factors: “I am not respected in the team”, “I am not appreciated by my superiors”, “my spouse does not value me”. Shifting the blame on others is easier, but it will not help change your life scenario.
Looking for the roots of problems
Having recognized the need to deal with the problem, we move on to the next plan.
- Analyze your life scenario as described in one of the previous articles.
- Reveal what you are not happy with in real life, which, in your opinion, reduces its quality. But these should be quite specific problems, for example, indecision, the lack of an interesting case, the inability to establish relationships with the opposite sex, etc.
- Look back at the scenario analysis and think about what caused your problems in the past. Perhaps you will see similar situations in the life of your ancestors, or the words of your mother’s prescription may sound in your head: “What a clumsy you are! Don’t touch anything, I’d rather do it myself! ” Or is it your own resentment and decision not to be friends with anyone else and to be alone.
Already such an analysis of your life from early childhood and finding out the true causes of problems will positively affect your life, make it more conscious.
Understanding the reasons, although important, is not always enough. Sometimes a person is able to make a new, already adult decision on his own and change his life scenario, and sometimes not.
A correctly set goal plays an important role. It is clear that a person with a dysfunctional life scenario wants to change him. But why does he need it? What does he want to achieve? What are the real tasks to solve: get a prestigious position, start a family or improve relationships in an existing one, become healthy, strong and beautiful? The answer to this question is set by the vector of development of a new life scenario, which you will write already consciously.
Overcoming the burden of parental prescriptions and children’s grievances is very difficult, because they are firmly rooted in the subconscious. And if you do not know how to change the life scenario, and understand that you cannot cope with it on your own, then it is better to turn to a psychotherapist or psychologist who works with family scenarios and parental prescriptions.