An acquaintance recently contacted me with the following question: how to choose between two guys. In fact, not every girl can boast of having a relationship with two men at the same time. Only being in such a situation can be both pleasant and psychologically difficult. After all, you understand that in the end you will certainly have to break someone’s heart. And in this controversial story, there are always two winners and one loser. Therefore, I have prepared 14 tips to help you decide. I will touch on many points that need to be taken into account. To make it easier for you to make the right choice.
1. Identify their positive and negative sides
One of the most effective ways to choose between two guys is to create a good old list of positives and negatives. Think about their personality, looks, tastes, behavior, and other criteria that you consider important for building a lasting relationship. Then analyze all the results and choose one “winner”. Just remember that you need to take into account other points, which we will talk about later. However, it is a good starting point if you are faced with such a tough choice.
Every time you meet with one of them, pay attention to signs of compatibility with your personality type, temperament, worldview and life priorities. The guys you like may not fit all of your requirements and criteria, of course. But if you notice that you don’t really agree on many things. Or you can’t get rid of the strange feeling that you are not connected with each other. Then it will be difficult for you to build a relationship with this person.
3. Learn about their relationships with others
As you make your choice, pay close attention to what they say about their friends, loved ones, family, or past partners. To better understand how to choose between two guys, you need to make sure that one is truly the right one for a long term relationship. So find out what kind of relationship they’ve had in the past, who they are friends with, and how often they spend time with their family. If someone has had a lot of unsuccessful relationships in the past, or he cannot boast of any friends or good acquaintances, then think about whether you can find a common language with him?
4. Identify their bad habits
People with bad habits and those who do not take care of their health can be considered hopeless. These include people who abuse alcohol, have an addiction to smoking, gambling, the habit of lying, swearing, and so on. After all, all this negatively affects not only the person who abuses them, but also those with whom he interacts. So try to stay away from guys with such bad habits.
5. Behavior in society
Wherever you are, you probably want to be proud of your man. If you feel completely calm around him in public, among your friends, or even in some strange situations. It is likely that making him your soul mate would be the right choice.
6. Find out their plans for the future.
It will be very good if you and him have similar views on the construction of future life. If he has a clear and realistic vision of his future, including the desired job, place of residence and family. However, if you have different views on the future, this can lead to disastrous results. So ask them these questions directly, or start the conversation so that you understand their plans and goals for the future.
7. Find out their ambitions
The next way to choose between two guys is to find out their ambitions. A man must dream big and always move forward in order to achieve his goals. Yes, I know that there are not many such men, but if you find one, then you are very lucky. And if a person remains true to himself, to his plans and goals, it means a lot. With him you will be like a stone wall. So compare them on these criteria to see whose ambitions are more daring.
8. Signs of jealousy
First, you need to make sure they don’t show signs of being overly jealous. After all, if already at this stage one of them will show jealousy, then over time everything will only get worse. Second, listen to your heart. If you are with one of them, and feel as if you are cheating on the other. Then, chances are you will be more loyal to him.
9. Feeling of freedom
You are young, active, and no one has the right to limit your freedom. And if being with any of them means any restrictions or obligations for you, then this will not contribute to the development of normal relations. And if a guy already at this stage will limit your freedom, then stay away from such a person. Look for a man who will respect your opinions and desires.
10. Power of imagination
This method requires a little imagination. Take each of them and imagine that you are eating together on a journey for a whole month. Then you decide to get married, start a family, and have children. How do you feel about each of them in this case? Are your feelings different? Which of them brings you more joy and happiness when you think about your future together?
11. Give them an endurance test
To choose between two guys, give them a little test. This may sound a little cruel. But there is no better way to test the resilience of a future partner to various difficult situations than to test them with your crazy behavior, tantrums, sudden changes in mood or sarcasm. Look at their reactions and compare. Someone who gets through this stage with dignity will probably be a much better option.
12. Minor deceptions
How do you feel when you cheat on one of them? Try to pay attention to your feelings, even if you do it on purpose. Your reaction will show who you are more serious about.
13. Feeling of love
We must not lose sight of love. Of course, loving one of these men makes the choice so much easier. But for this you must listen carefully to your heart. And be realistic in your feelings.
14. Your inner voice
When there are no other options and methods left on how to choose between two guys, then listen to your intuition to decide who will be the best partner for you. And although you should consciously approach such an important issue, but if it seems to you that in one of them you have found a soul mate, then stay with this person. For my part, I can only wish you good luck, and I hope that you will make the right choice.