Confident communication helps us express our thoughts in an accessible way. It helps us to better interact with people, makes us an interesting and sociable person. Learning to communicate confidently may not be difficult, but only if you have a great desire. But when you achieve the desired result, then your communication will become easy, understandable and confident. And if you are reading this article, then you are not the best communicator. So let’s talk about how we can improve our communication skills.
How self-confidence can help us
Unfortunately, we have no control over how other people can talk to us. But we can always control how we react to their conversations and our behavior. And taking responsibility for your own behavior and communication is the first step to improving communication with other people.
Self-confidence is one of the most important skills. Which you need to master in order to reduce the stress associated with negative or unsuccessful conversations with people. Confident communication is essential to achieve our goals and implement our plans. Therefore, I see persistence, aggressiveness and passivity as tools to achieve goals. Assertiveness, with self-confidence, is the most effective of these types of communication. And this can really greatly help us in the implementation of our plans.
For example, if you take ordinary situations. You want to go to bed because you have to take the test early in the morning and your roommates, friends, or family members are keeping you awake. How do you let them know without confidence? Or, if you feel financially stressed about your partner’s expenses, how do you approach and communicate it? How do you tell your partner that you want a change in your relationship or in your intimate life? All these questions and solutions to similar problems, we are able to implement thanks to self-confidence. So in order to develop confident communication, first of all start working on your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Five principles of confident communication
1. Confidence comes from competence
If you don’t know what you are doing, how can you feel confident? In other words, don’t talk about things you don’t know about. And when talking, defend your opinion only on the basis of knowledge. But don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know enough about this right now to form a correct opinion.” When communicating with a person, you do not need to profit and invent. If you do not know the exact answer to a question, then listen more than speak. Try to talk more about the things that you understand. Use your own experience and knowledge. And be firm if you think you have enough evidence to justify your point.
2. Use clear and specific language
Confident communication is based on clear and specific language. In other words, don’t use vague, ambiguous and generalized language. The purpose of your communication is to accurately convey information, ideas and emotions. And the more accurately this is done, the more effective your communication will be. For example, take a look at the following few statements. They express the same events. But one statement is more specific than the other.
- The car passed me very quickly. The car passed me at a speed of about 70 or 80 km.
- Steve showed disrespect in the meeting yesterday. Steve ate all the cookies in the meeting yesterday, and he also left the crumbs on the table.
- I am worried that I will spoil my speech at the conference. I’m worried that I won’t remember my entire speech at the conference. Or someone will ask me a question that I cannot answer.
You can see that the second option is more specific in each case. Hence, it is more effective in communication and gives you confidence. Therefore, to develop confident communication, try to use language as clear, specific, and precise as possible.
3. Amplify your message with clear movements
To a large extent, we express our confidence level not through the way we speak, but through the way we look. It is our appearance, our communication manners and body language that indicate to other people our emotional state. You can show people how you are feeling through facial expressions, gestures and various postures of your body. You must remember to control your body language. Here are some specific tips to help you build confident communication:
- Stand or sit up straight;
- Do not slouch when communicating;
- Look the person in the eye. Don’t avoid eye contact;
- Dress appropriately for your location. Don’t let your looks denote you as a failure;
- Use hands and gestures to give visual confirmation to your spoken message.
4. Amplify your message with good tone of voice.
Our voice plays an important role in confident communication. This means that the volume of your voice, intonation, and rhythm indicate your emotional state to people. Here are some specific tone-of-voice tips to give your words more confidence.
- Slow down the pace of your speech. Do not hurry;
- Don’t use too low or too high a tone of voice;
- Change the tone of your voice, do not be monotonous;
- Don’t feel like you have to fill every awkward moment with speech. Do not be afraid of silence and silence. Periodic silence is good. Because it allows people to mentally digest what you or the other person heard.
5. Feed Yourself With Mental Support
Don’t ruin your confidence with negative self-talk. Don’t talk about yourself in a negative tone. A continuous stream of thoughts constantly hovers in our head. This is part of our inner world. Some people use this inner voice to give themselves courage and confidence. Others may unknowingly use this inner voice to destroy their courage and self-confidence.
Some people say to themselves many times a day, “I am the most successful!” Other people say, “I’m not good enough.” Some people say to themselves, “I know I can do it. I just need to find the right method. ” Others say, “I probably can’t do it. So why even try? ”
Since you hear a lot of negative conversations in yourself and often say the wrong things about yourself, this is your fault. Confidence is emotion, and all emotions are a product of our thoughts. So if you think that you are not good enough at something, you will not be able to feel confident. But if you think you are more than good, you will feel more confident. So work on being able to maintain a positive attitude and positive thoughts.
Examples of communication styles
We all use different communication styles. In addition, one person can exhibit a different style depending on the situation. Our behavior can also be related to a certain situation, or from where we are. For example, a person may be better at controlling their aggression at home than at work or on the street. Here is one situation with three possible answers. The goal in this situation is to prevent the partner from spending too much money.
Aggressive communication style: “You idiot! I can’t believe you bought all of this. Why do you need all these things? You just acted selfishly. ”
Passive: “Have you bought these unnecessary items again? Well, okay, so be it. ”
Confident communication style: “I would like to know why you bought these things? When can we talk about this? ”
People who use confident communication try not to get into quarrels and conflicts. Because they understand that this will not help the problem. They do not say offensive words, but try to approach the situation calmly and judiciously. They often use the word “I” in their conversations. In this way, they emphasize self-confidence, but at the same time, they can allow the other person to calmly engage in dialogue with him.
Even if you are used to arguing, then try to use the word “I” more often in conversations. For example: “I will continue this discussion when we both agree not to offend each other.” Or: “I understand that you are not ready to talk to me now. I respect your decision, and I cannot force you. But I want you to know that I am always open to dialogue. ” This communication style shows respect for the person, and at the same time helps you to be more confident when communicating with him.