Not sure how to deal with a narcissist? Whether it’s your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or friend – a narcissist is not an easy person. Narcissistic behavior can leave deep emotional “scars.” The fact is that such people are too egocentric, arrogant, they like to dominate and control other people. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to push him out of your life. But, if this is not possible, or you want to give this relationship another chance, then you should remember the following tips.
A few tips on how to deal with a narcissist
1. Tell the person about their behavior
Narcissists are so self-obsessed that they never realize how much they are hurting someone on a deep emotional level. Therefore, one of the most effective ways to deal with a narcissist is honesty. Just tell him everything. It only makes sense to do this if this narcissist is your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or colleague, whom you simply cannot ignore.
Have your narcissistic partner sit next to you for a heart-to-heart talk and “open his or her eyes.” In addition, as often as possible, talk about the fact that you are carrying this pernicious burden of arrogance and selfishness. Then, allow time for change so that he starts treating you the way you deserve it. If the person doesn’t realize your pain even after making a few such sincere requests, it may be time for you to think about giving up the relationship.
2. Don’t have empathy for the narcissist
Even narcissists have moments of weakness. This usually happens when they fail or when some of their stupid actions create problems for them. Whenever such a situation arises, narcissists usually try to win the sympathy of those around them.
This sudden turn in behavior can easily make you feel empathy. Don’t get involved in this manipulative behavior, because once you help him get out of these troubles, he will return to his arrogance again. Such people have no sense of gratitude. They will still continue to treat you the same way they did before.
3. Try to make him dependent on you
The next good way to deal with a narcissist and soften his attitude towards you is to make him dependent on you for something. For example, if you are dealing with a narcissistic boss, learn to cope with a task that none of your colleagues can handle. This will make your boss treat you much better. Because he will need you to complete this task.
Narcissists can “walk like lions, with ego the size of a mountain.” But they may well shrink and “become meek kittens” when they begin to depend on you for what they desperately need.
4. Don’t take the narcissist’s tirades personally.
Narcissists love to rant, and most of their speeches often turn out to be an insult to the people who accept them. For them, hurting someone emotionally will never be a problem. Keep this in mind when talking to the narcissist. Try to emotionally detach yourself from the arrogant conversation and stay calm. Never let harsh words “touch your heart”. Never take the narcissist’s words personally.
5. Don’t try to beat the narcissist by being himself.
“A shark cannot defeat a lion in the jungle, and a lion can never defeat a shark in the sea.” This metaphor is meant to help you understand that trying to defeat a narcissist in what is a core part of his personality is a near impossible and very difficult task. Even if you try to imitate narcissistic traits in order to show someone their bad behavior, it is unlikely to work in your favor.
6. Don’t try to justify your relationship with the narcissist.
Never try to justify your relationship with a narcissist, be it romantic, marital, or professional. You will be wrong if you try to convince yourself that tolerating narcissistic behavior is not as bad as it sounds.
Your feelings and emotions are special to be left at the mercy of the arrogant narcissist. Be around people who value you as a person and as a special person. Never try to justify the barrage of offensive speech and emotionally abusive behavior you encounter on the part of the narcissist.
7. Be mindful of trying to blame you for things you didn’t do
Narcissists think only of their own interests. If they make a mistake, they will try to “get away from her as far as possible.” They’ll start pointing their fingers at anyone, just to be safe. Here are some typical situations to watch out for.
Narcissists usually say, “You said it,” to make you believe that you said something, even if you didn’t. Narcissists will blame you for their mistakes without batting an eye. Because blaming others is their natural trait. So be vigilant and never take the narcissist’s attacks at face value.
8. Don’t be weak
Another important tip for dealing with a narcissist is not to be weak. The dominance and potential exploitation of behavior fueled by unlimited self-confidence is a classic narcissistic trait. Typically, this results in narcissists benefiting from everyone around them.
Always keep this in mind before agreeing to do something for the narcissist. “Just once” is a phrase that you should remove from your vocabulary when dealing with a narcissist. If you show special kindness to such people one day, you will constantly be taken for granted, according to their will and against yours.
9. Make it work for you
Never expect self-centered narcissists to do whatever they can to help you with something. This can be a big problem if you are dealing with fellow narcissists who are part of your team at work.
The trick to making narcissists work for you is to show them the benefits. For example, if you want a narcissistic colleague to help you with a presentation at work, convince them by telling them that you will mention their name when you present to your boss. Any benefit usually gets the attention of the narcissist.
10. Don’t tell him your secrets
Never expect such a person to keep secrets. Because narcissists rarely care about other people’s feelings, their “cold hearts” will never keep secrets, even if they might harm someone. Always keep this in mind, and never trust the narcissist with secrets.
Narcissists love to convince others to tell them what you don’t want. They will use their arrogance and dominant personality to their advantage. Don’t fall for it. You can be sure that everything said will not remain a secret if it reaches their ears.
11. Avoid narcissists in your life.
The best way to deal with a narcissist is to try not to deal with them at all. You don’t have to put up with the arrogance that a narcissist can bring into your life. Avoid these people as much as possible and keep them away from you.
Yes, this can be difficult if you are dealing with a narcissistic partner or boss at work. But, if it has something to do with your narcissistic friends, then just push them out of your inner circle and remove that terrible negativity from your life.