How to deal with anger and aggression?
Anger is a person’s response to a threat or bad attitude towards him. Threats can manifest themselves in various forms, for example, in the form of a physical attack. There are also financial threats such as job loss or emotional threats. Feelings of jealousy or guilt, in most cases, also cause us this reaction.
We often experience feelings of anger, but when it triggers aggression, it becomes a problem. Screaming and physical abuse are ways to release anger that can cause problems with family, friends, work colleagues, etc. But to cope with anger is within the power of every person, and now we will talk about it.
1) keep calm
If a certain situation starts to make you nervous, the first thing you need to do is stay calm. Just do not start to ignore what is happening, or the person who communicates with you. You just need to be in this situation, agree with the person, respond calmly and conduct a normal dialogue.
2) The choice is yours
You can catch yourself thinking that you are being provoked. In this case, you do not need to take the words seriously. You are not in court and you do not have to defend yourself against charges. You can act as you see fit and express an informed opinion, while you do not need to negatively react to their provocation.
3) do not take everything personally to yourself
In some situations, the words that are spoken, we perceive as insults in our direction, as if they reflect our personality. Such words can cause us anger and aggression. But this is exactly what they want to get from us. This again speaks of an attempt to provoke us and begin to manipulate us. Don’t take words too literally. People who do this do not respect themselves and the people around them.
4) don’t take hurtful words
Don’t take the words literally as they were spoken. Some people use a certain tone of voice and manner of communication to make you resentful and angry. It happens that they want to intimidate you with their tone and influence you, this often manifests itself in the workplace between employees. In this case, you also do not need to take their words seriously. The absurdities they say are designed to make you negative and aggressive. In this case, in order to cope with anger and it did not appear in you, you can say the following: “These words sound offensive, but they have nothing to do with me and your tone does not affect me in any way.”
5) we are all equal
If you still took their insults personally to yourself, then you are in the position that they need. They put you in a state of inferiority and self-doubt. And you do not know how to get out of this state, because this has not happened to you before. At this point, you need to rebuild your self-esteem by reminding yourself that you are a worthy person, despite your shortcomings or possibly a mistake.
You are still an equal member of society, you have a good reputation, despite what they just said about you. Even if they are correct in their facts, you still need to think positively about yourself. They just want to show that you are as imperfect as everyone else. Your “imperfection” is quite normal. In this case, you need to use your resilience and positive thoughts about yourself to overcome their suppression.
6) do as you see fit
In this context, your choice is to make decisions as you see fit. By doing this, you will increase your self-confidence and you will begin to trust your own judgment more. Always make firm decisions, listen to yourself more and act on your own.
7) control yourself
You will become a more confident and calm person as you begin to control your thoughts, words, and emotions. Taking control of them will make it much easier to deal with your anger. Only you have the right to choose how you behave and what you say. You must be constructive in conversation and a sane person. In some cases, normal head nodding may be helpful. This is a sign that you are hearing what your opponent is saying, not that you agree with it.
8) regain self-esteem
Criticism of your skills or actions should not be taken as reality. Sometimes it is difficult not to follow the path of doubt and self-criticism. But you can regain your self-esteem by reminding yourself that others’ comments are just words with which they want to achieve their goals. Even if they are correct, these are just your shortcomings, and as we said earlier, we are all not perfect and often make mistakes. Remember that you are a worthy person, despite the human flaws that everyone has.
9) Free yourself from negative thoughts
In order to deal with anger and aggression, you need to get rid of negative thoughts and words that may arise in you. For example: “How long can I be such a loser” or “I am such a weakling and I cannot say this.” You must free yourself from such thoughts so that your actions become more decisive. You must always remember that you are a decent person and you have self-esteem. And this is true, although we do not always think so. You should remember as often as possible that you are a worthy person and constantly keep this phrase in your head.
10) The problem is in the person’s personality
Coping with anger and aggression can be really challenging, as it all depends on us, our thoughts and actions. People who are trying to evoke these feelings in us may not consciously do so. They may have such a complex character or they themselves are such personalities. All of these behaviors that we talked about above are based on their attitude towards themselves. Most of these people are negative in life and try to transfer this negative to other people.
You need to control yourself in any situation that arises. Always remain a reserved and sober-minded person. Talk about yourself only in a positive way, strengthen your self-esteem and faith in yourself!