Every person has to deal with difficult life situations from time to time. Some boldly take the initiative into their own hands and easily overcome all difficulties. Others begin to doubt their own strengths, try to avoid responsibility, are afraid to make a final decision. In the latter case, we are talking about self-doubt.
What it is?
For most people, the word “insecurity” is associated with the concept of “inferiority complex”, because an insecure person doubts their abilities, skills and abilities. Most of the notorious people experience difficulties in communicating with the opposite sex, are embarrassed by their appearance, and cannot defend their own opinions at work.
Feelings of insecurity arise from low self-esteem. A person does not believe in his own strength and is afraid to move forward to achieve some goal. The fear of being rejected, misunderstood, not accepted gives rise to indecision. As a result, there is a desire to merge with the crowd, not stick out.
In psychology, uncertainty is correlated with inner fear, fear of taking responsibility and making decisions. There is such a definition: self-doubt is the fear of expressing real feelings, showing individuality in various spheres of life, realizing one’s potential in full force. Therefore, this concept means the fear of being yourself.
This feeling is a big brake on the path to self-realization and success.
The roots of insecurity can be traced back to early childhood. At this time, a system of self-perception is being formed. It is based on the response of others. Praise, punishment, or rejection have a big impact on the development of self-esteem. Sometimes mothers overprotect their children and control their every step. It happens that the child gets little parental warmth and love.
Often, parents scold their child for mistakes and inept actions. Thus, they put in the child’s head the idea that he should be able to and know everything, think quickly and never make mistakes.
The baby has discomfort at moments when something does not work out for him. He begins to fear that others will reject him in the same way as his parents, for poor knowledge of a foreign language, inability to dance or sing. An inferiority complex is gradually formed. Lack of parental praise and support, basic respect devalues the thoughts and feelings of the little man. This attitude of parents towards children can lead to psychosomatic disorders. Psychosomatics manifests itself in mental anguish and various bodily diseases.
Sometimes the basis for a child is the insecure or aggressive behavior of adults.
The reasons for the manifestation of complexes and a decrease in self-esteem can be character traits. Weak people usually follow their own fears. If any obstacle arises in the way of the implementation of the planned business, they abandon the intended goals. Unwillingness to look for a worthy way out of a difficult situation indicates a lack of faith in the possibility of realizing plans or dreams.
Uncertainty often appears in adulthood. The problem arises from negative experiences. When a person is faced with criticism, condemnation or outright rejection, he withdraws into himself, trying to avoid re-experiencing mental pain.
Dismissal from work greatly changes the attitude towards oneself.
Impact on human life
Uncertainty prevents an individual from living fully. It has destroyed many people’s adequate self-image. After all, each person should be aware of their own attractiveness and uniqueness. You need to master the ability not to deny your shortcomings, but to turn them into advantages. An indecisive individual often cannot find his place in the world. Internal lack of freedom deprives him of the opportunity to achieve great success in life.
For this reason, many abandon any undertakings. They are afraid to try something new, to look for their destiny. The fear of making even a small mistake causes insecure people to feel the strongest mental discomfort and a feeling of their own insignificance. An indecisive person puts in a minimum of effort to achieve a goal. The more doubts prevail, the less likely you are to build a successful career at work and a happy family life.
An insecure person lives in constant fear that other people will condemn him. These fears force him to stay away from others, prevent him from fully building interpersonal relationships. Such people have to behave unnaturally, pretend, hide their own “I” under an armored shell. This can lead to dire consequences. An inner double life can provoke an attack of aggression.
How to deal with self-doubt?
It is very difficult to completely remove the feeling of insecurity. It does not pass as quickly as we would like. You need to be patient. First you need to deal with your own beliefs and attitudes. Then, to improve self-esteem, you need to remember your specific achievements. Think about what your virtues deserve love and respect.
Love yourself with all your flaws and flaws. Do not scold yourself for failures and weaknesses. Praise yourself even for small accomplishments and small victories. Appreciate your capabilities, and always set clear goals for yourself. Indicate a certain vision of what you want to achieve in the end. The goal set disciplines and motivates for specific accomplishments.
Do not concentrate on disturbing thoughts, throw them out of your head. Give yourself the right to make mistakes, avoid excessive self-criticism and self-flagellation. Successful people see failure as a positive experience. Don’t hide your emotions, desires, and demands. Know how to refuse people.
Believe in yourself and boldly go towards the realization of your goal.
Communicate more with others. During the conversation, try to focus on the other person. You need to speak loudly and clearly, while trying to look your opponent in the eyes.
Feel free to express your feelings. When communicating your wishes or requirements, try using the pronoun “I”. Give positive emotions to others. Establish close contacts with loved ones: invite them to the theater, museum or any entertainment event, arrange surprises for them. Practice relationship building.
Don’t be afraid to offend the other person. You need to be able to put an overly aggressive comrade in place, but at the same time behave within the bounds of decency, keep your distance. It is an integral part of a self-confident person. Don’t let anyone humiliate you. Do not compare your own person with those around you, free yourself from stereotypes.
Control emotions, under any circumstances, remain calm and composure.
Replay situations leading to success in your mind, imagine everything to the smallest detail, even smell and touch. Be sure to use the emotional sphere. Create in your thoughts a successful scenario of your actions, program a favorable outcome of the event. Never replay unfortunate situations in your head. The past must be easily let go.
Changing activities helps to distract from unpleasant thoughts and look at the event from a different perspective, so if negative emotions arise, relax and do something else. Learn to plan upcoming actions. Set specific goals for yourself. Implement them. Having a hobby boosts self-confidence. Choose a specialty to your liking.
Lead a healthy lifestyle. Constantly engage in self-education, acquire new knowledge, expand your horizons, strive for excellence. Conscientious work and moderate physical activity increase self-confidence. Do not succumb to apathy and laziness, do not pin your hopes on the case of fate or influential friends and family. Train your willpower daily.
Maintain freedom of mind and originality of thought.