How to deal with self-pity and regret?
Self-pity, stress and depression are problems that many people face on a daily basis. And the cost of their treatment is estimated in billions. But few people know how to overcome self-pity, and what are the causes of stress and depression. As a rule, this is a lack of money, a lack of love, problems at work, the loss of a loved one, and this list can go on for a long time. But people of all races, ages, religions and social classes can experience them for a variety of reasons.
Many events are out of control in our life. In addition, humans have biological problems that cause them to become sad and depressed. I think you’ve often heard the phrase “stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Perhaps your loved ones or acquaintances said this when they saw you in this state. And to some extent they are right. After all, feeling sorry for yourself is not entirely correct. But human nature is such that we often do this unconsciously.
It’s really hard for us to get rid of our regrets just by trying to forget what happened. If we sit and meditate, then we will not be able to cope with the negative cycles of our mind. Because the nature of consciousness is such that it clings more to the negative. But when we don’t give our mind room to think, we can easily overcome self-pity.
Besides, pity is often a call for help. But we must remember that if we are immersed in this state, then many people simply will not want to spend time with us. There is a difference between real hardship and imaginary suffering that we ourselves create. And you can lose many of your acquaintances and friends if you use their compassion to comfort yourself. Ask the question, is your problem really serious and justifies feeling sorry for yourself?
Stop thinking about the past
We must be aware of our mistakes, because this helps to prevent their repetition. But constantly thinking about it takes time and negatively affects us. You should draw conclusions and move on. It is better to remember good moments from the past. It may be difficult for you to do this. But remember that each person goes through different difficulties in life. The less we feel sorry for ourselves, the faster we will deal with them.
You need to understand that feeling pity makes you unhappy and only makes the situation worse. In addition, you should not manipulate people with regrets. You may think that if you make them feel guilty, they will start treating you differently. But we cannot force people to do as we want in this way. You need to approach them with sincere intentions, not manipulative ways.
You are capable of a lot
We often have situations that make us feel sorry for ourselves. And it is likely that we are able to fix many of them without outside help. To combat self-pity, try to find the root of failure. You can make a list of the problems that happen to you. On the contrary, write down all the possibilities that can correct this situation. Come up with as many options as you can. Then ask yourself if you can fix this problem yourself? And what methods can you take to achieve this? After this exercise, you will have a little guidance on how you should proceed. You will feel empowered and confident to be in control of problems.
No matter how big the problem is, there is always the person who is in the worst situation. Realizing this helps to understand that everything is not so bad for you. Being grateful can help you overcome self-pity. You will be able to live much calmer and happier. Make a list of all the good things in your life. The ability to walk, see, smell flowers, wind on your skin. All of these wonderful moments we often take for granted. And I’m sure you can add a lot of things to this list. Do this as often as possible and you will start to feel much better.
Why do we feel sorry for ourselves?
We often feel sorry for not understanding our own motives. But if we can understand the reason, then it will be easier for us to overcome self-pity. In addition, we will be able to better understand whether it is justified or not. Very often we feel pity when something goes wrong or because of feelings of guilt. Perhaps there was some kind of failure in your life. At this point, you are feeling sad and sad, and you want to attract more empathy and concern from other people. At this point, we just want to be supported.
But there are times when we want to make the other person feel guilty about our problem. We may think that by showing our unhappiness, he will feel the same and act differently next time. But if we can honestly analyze self-pity, it will be a real revelation for us.
Self-pity does not comfort the mind, nor does it make us stronger. She makes a person a real stranger to herself.
Should we feel sorry for ourselves?
Everyone has situations that make us sad and regretful. We all have problems and they are not always easy to solve. But a person has the right to feel sorry for himself. This is a natural emotion. You just need to remember that there are always people who are much worse off than you. And there is no need to compare your problems with those of others. Thinking about people who have fewer failures will make you feel even more sorry for yourself.