The question of how to find a soul mate is really not an easy one. I think many of us tried to do this and spent a lot of time thinking and dreaming about our ideal partner. We want to find a person with whom we can spend our lives with dignity, so that our relationship is ideal and carefree. In other words, we want to find our soul mate. But, unfortunately, most of the people we meet are simply not suitable for us.
Why is it so difficult to find this person? We think about it so much, meet different people, perform different rituals, but nothing comes of it. Don’t we deserve this? Why doesn’t the world, the universe or God help us?
The fact is that no one told us how human relations actually work, and therefore you were looking for something that does not exist. You idealized feelings and relationships, constantly thought about how to find a soul mate, which in real life may simply not be.
Are there soul mates?
The short answer is no. At least not in the sense that most people tend to believe. There is no specific person who will cover all your needs and desires. And if we constantly think about how to find a soul mate, this is not the right approach in a relationship. This concept is not bad. But it is more about hope that a person is looking for a partner and a relationship in which he will feel happy.
The problem is that this model of romantic love will lead to nothing but disappointment. Even if you find “your soul mate”, then after a while the reality will not coincide with your dreams and desires that you previously experienced. This is the wrong way to build healthy relationships.
The fact is that we ourselves are a full-fledged person. Yes, we can have positive and negative character traits. But finding a partner who is different from us will not fully satisfy all our desires. If there is a void in your life, then no one can fill it except you.
Constant search for your soul mate
If you harbor the misconception that soul mates exist, the following problems may arise in your love life:
- Frequent breakdown of relationships with people you like. But they do not fit all your requirements, as for the second half;
- Constant feeling of dissatisfaction with your romantic life;
- Attachment to a certain person who will seem like your soul mate;
- Feelings of emptiness without a partner and inability to enjoy loneliness;
- The inability to realize how important it is to work on yourself in order to improve relationships.
The last point is the most important. The best way to improve your relationship is to make yourself a better person. Satisfaction with your relationship is directly related to your own feelings of happiness and self-satisfaction. The constant search for a soul mate can exhaust a person. You will live with the delusion that if you find the right person, then everything in your life will be perfect.
A realistic way to find a soul mate
I do not want you to take this article too cynical. Therefore, if you are looking for a soulful relationship and a deep connection with a person, then this can be achieved. You may not have found “that one” yet, because you simply haven’t opened yourself up to it. There may already be people in your life who are ready to be a good partner for a long-term and healthy relationship, but you just don’t notice them.
More often than not, you simply fail to attract the people you want because there is a mismatch between who you really are and what you show to the outside world. In order to attract deep relationships you need to:
Be yourself and not hide your true essence;
Many people “wear masks” and do not show their true self. We often try to meet the criteria that society imposes on us or are afraid that people will not like our true nature. You cannot attract deep relationships if people cannot see the real you.
Be more sincere and kind;
Treat others the way you want others to treat you. I think everyone knows this saying. In this case, it is also appropriate. Without kindness and sincere feelings, you will not be able to attract the desired person into your life.
Perceive reality and fantasize less;
Television, movies and series have a big impact on us. They often portray relationships that are difficult to achieve in real life. Many of us are unhappy with every aspect of our lives, from finances to relationships, because of the expectations that are imposed on us. This does not mean that you do not need to dream, just try to be realistic and take life as it is.
In fact, it can be very useful to reduce the watch time of various talk shows and TV series, and move more into real life. Try to listen more to yourself, your feelings and desires.
Communicate more with people;
You never know if a person is right for you or not. So you do not need to narrow your requirements too much and wait for love to find you on its own. Become a more open person, date more, connect with your friends and make new acquaintances.
Get rid of attachment to certain desires and results;
If you constantly think about how to find a soul mate and want your partner to fit certain criteria, then it will be difficult for you to build a happy life. It may seem counterintuitive, but the deepest and most lasting relationships are with people who are not like our ideal.
Can you find that one?
It’s possible to find someone with whom you can develop a long and happy relationship. However, you will greatly increase your chances if you focus on improving your own life. It’s not just your appearance, having a lot of money or a good car. This will not make you a happy person. Focus on improving your inner qualities, such as: a positive attitude towards life and people, good nature, honesty and respect. Working on yourself is really difficult, but it is very important for building healthy and happy relationships.