How to focus on yourself and become independent?
A couple of years ago, I could not even imagine that I would be concerned about the question of how to focus on myself. I definitely considered myself an independent person. And although I am quite a sociable person, I am interested in the life of many of my friends and relatives, but still, before I focused more on myself, on my own life, and not on the lives of other people. I was constantly moving forward and trying to figure out how I could improve myself and my future. In short, earlier I was completely focused on my life and I was not bothered by what was happening around me.
But just a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that I was starting to change. I became more interested in other people’s activities, and something revived in me the desire to start focusing again on my social life. However, I immediately felt negative changes in my personal life and found that all my attention was focused on the lives of my friends, and not on my own problems, goals and desires.
I would not say that I am in serious trouble with this focus change. But I can definitely say that I am not in my place. This realization greatly influenced me, and I had to look for ways out of this situation. Therefore, if you are also too focused on the lives of other people, and not on your own, I have prepared some tips on how you can free yourself from dependence on other people and shift the focus back to yourself.
1. Spend less time with other people
You need to start spending more time on yourself if you want to change the way you interact with other people. When you create a certain distance between yourself and another person, you create more opportunities to focus on your emotions, thoughts, and desires. You give yourself more time to think about what you want out of life. But that doesn’t mean you need to completely distance yourself from these people. This means you need to spend less time with people and eliminate possible unhealthy patterns of how you interact with them. When you begin to move away from them a little, clarity and understanding of your desires will come to you, and changes will come for clarity.
2. Become more mindful
Remove various gadgets and distractions more often so that you can focus on your own life, on your own plans and goals. Mindfulness and concentration will help you better assess the situation you are in. And you will be able to better understand how to focus on yourself.
3. Come up with a list of personal goals
When you realize that you have stopped paying enough attention to your life. You have a desire to catch up. You want to get back on your path and move forward. So first of all, sit down and think about your personal goals and what you need to do to achieve it. Depending on how much time you’ve spent on other people’s lives, it will take you a certain amount of time to catch up. But no matter what goals you set for yourself, start implementing them if you want to focus on yourself and your life.
4. Take action
Once you’ve developed a list of goals and written a plan for achieving them, take action. It doesn’t matter how small steps you take now. The only thing that matters is that you move forward. When you begin to realize that you have control over your life. And that you can make a huge breakthrough in life, you cannot be stopped. You will find that it is much more interesting and rewarding to be involved in your own life and pursue your own goals than caring for the lives of others.
5. Be persistent
The most important thing about change is that it is difficult. If it were so easy to change your life, then there would be no need for self-improvement. So no matter how difficult the change is, don’t give up. If you allow yourself to give up, it will be more difficult for you to give up your old habits, and you will return to them again. So keep moving forward, achieving your goals, and the result will not be long in coming.
6. Learn to say no
The next way to focus on yourself is to learn to refuse people. You cannot do everything that is asked of you. And you will not be able to return the time that you spend on the lives of other people. Therefore, it is useful to sometimes refuse people, and prioritize personal tasks. This way you have more free time and you can focus on yourself. Which will benefit your own life and health.
7. Do something for yourself
Whether walking, vacationing, playing sports, or shopping. In any case, do what you like more often. It may not be necessary to travel abroad to relax. You can go and see the sights in your city or the surrounding area. Even driving through the countryside and soaking up the fresh air and colors from the environment can be a good way to relax and focus on your own thoughts.
8. Be positive
In order to focus on yourself, you need to try to find positive moments in everything. Be it your job, any problems, finances, your children, and so on. There is always something good about what you have and what you are working on. So try to find positive things in everything. It’s not just a good way to be more grateful. But he will make you feel a significant change towards yourself. And if something bad happens in your life, try to look at it differently. After all, it is the perception of the situation that upsets us, and not the situation itself.
9. Write down everything you are grateful for.
Robert Emmons is a professor of psychology at the University of California. Found that people who wrote down five things weekly they were grateful for reported increased optimism and decreased mental health problems. Try and do the same. When you focus on what you have, you are setting yourself up to be positive and to work on yourself.
10. Find happiness in your own success.
For me personally, achieving success in some area brings an incredible sense of happiness. Yes, being involved in and helping others can be fun and exciting. But not as much as your own life. And when we get too immersed in the life of another person, then our own life becomes less valuable. Therefore, becoming successful and achieving your goals can be the best way to focus on yourself and get back on track.
The most important thing to realize is that you are doing this for yourself. We often become too dependent on other people because we are not happy enough with who we really are. The truth is, everything is in our hands. And every person can change. All you have to do is put in the effort. So believe in yourself, work hard and you will succeed.