I think you’ve heard people say the words: “I will never forgive him” or “why should I forgive her?” But when they refuse to forgive, they do not understand that this creates problems for themselves. Therefore, each of us needs to know how to forgive another person and how to get rid of this negative destructive feeling.
Because forgiveness is a manifestation of a healthy person, and resentment is an evil that destroys our “I”, and does not give him the opportunity to enjoy life. And if you lack the skills to forgive even for the smallest things, then you are negatively affecting your mental and physical health. Therefore, take control of your resentment towards other people and learn to forgive them. By doing this, you will improve the quality of your life and free yourself from negative thoughts that drain you.
Reasons to forgive
Usually, people feel hurt when they think something is unfair or because someone has humiliated or insulted them. But resentment is more than just an outburst of anger or anger. It stays in our mind for a long time and gnaws at us from the inside. Therefore, become familiar with the reasons why you need to forgive another person and learn how to get rid of resentment.
- This can harm your health.
- Worsen relationships with loved ones.
- By being offended and holding on to anger, you will definitely use up your time and energy.
- You are wasting your energy.
- You let other people control you.
- Offended, you limit your options.
- Resentment openly interferes with your life and your development.
- It fills you with negativity.
- You cannot enjoy life.
- You become more withdrawn and closed.
Forgiveness does not mean that you will completely trust this person. But, it is likely that you will begin to concentrate less on what he did to you. Thus, you free yourself from unnecessary thoughts, and get the opportunity to focus on more important things. You can also set boundaries for people who have hurt you. But you better try to forgive them and not think about it anymore.
How to forgive another person and stop resentment
In fact, forgiveness is not as easy as it seems at first glance. After all, a person could offend you greatly, do something vile and unacceptable. As a result, you didn’t talk to him for a long time, you got angry and held a grudge, and now you need to forgive him. But whatever the situation, and no matter how you feel, you still need to get rid of resentment, anger and rage. So let’s take a look at the methods on how we can do this.
1. Understand why this happened
First, you need to understand why this situation happened or the conflict arose. Determine what caused the words or actions that hurt you? You need to understand, this is not on the superficial level, but on the deep level. You need to find the true reason for this act, and not the one that first catches your eye.
2. Consider what you could have done differently
Further, in order to forgive the person, you need to work on the mistakes. Think about what you could do in that situation so that it ends in a completely different, more positive outcome. You need to think over, feel and make sure that this does not happen anymore, and then liberation comes. Because when we have done the work on the mistakes and understood the reason for his action, then liberation and relief come to us, followed by forgiveness, and then the situation is gradually forgotten.
3. Forgive this person
As a rule, forgiving people is the lot of the strong. And only strong and wise people know how to forgive. Conversely, if we have many weaknesses or negative thoughts, it will be difficult for us to figure out how to forgive another person. Therefore, you need to get rid of these negative thoughts and look at the situation positively. Don’t be angry with this person. You need to understand that anyone can make mistakes and none of us are perfect. Therefore, forgive him, you do not need an extra burden on your soul. Because it will only complicate your life.
A simple method on how to forgive someone
Take four sheets of paper, pencil or pen. On one of them, write all your grievances towards a particular person. At the moment, do not try to forgive all the people you are angry with. Take one person you have grudges against and write them all down on paper. When you write down all your angry thoughts and resentments, take another sheet and write the name of this man or woman on it. Then write the following: “I now have (name) strong resentment, rage and anger towards you.” Then add in there the entire list of grievances written earlier.
When you are done, read this list and try to feel your hurt, anger, and anger as much as possible. You need to feel them as much as possible. You can accompany this with screaming, anger, rage, or crying. Just make sure no one hears you. It is now important that you remember and feel all those negative thoughts and memories for this person. It is important for you to release all these negative emotions.
Then take another sheet. Now you need to understand that your acquaintance or friend is not always guilty of what happened, that to some extent you are to blame for what happened. So on this sheet, write the following: “I realize that I am fully responsible for my actions, and for the fact that I am offended or harbored anger at this person and his actions.” And list what exactly you are offended at. Be sure to repeat this three to four times.
And already on the last sheet, you need to forgive this person. Write the following: “I forgive (the person’s name) for his actions,” and list everything that you are angry with him for. This can also be repeated three to four times. And when you do, try to forgive him, feel good feelings of love, kindness and forgiveness for him. This way you can forgive the other person as quickly as possible and get rid of resentment.