Our internal dialogue forms the mood, which means that if we criticize ourselves, constantly think about the bad things that have happened or only can happen, we will always be in a depressed emotional state. Conversely, if we can concentrate on the positive, pay attention to the bright side of life, this will allow us to get good emotions and be in high spirits, no matter what happens around.
This is why it is so important to learn how to regulate your emotions and get rid of intrusive thoughts. Negative thoughts will arise, but it is necessary to be able to stop destructive internal dialogue.
Psychotherapist Aaron Temkin-Beck argued that a person’s panic attitude is harmful not only at the level of thoughts and spoils the mood, but also affects your life in general, how you interact with other people and the world. Plus, if you don’t control him, don’t try to remove him, he ends up turning you into an insecure and anxious person. This, in turn, will create even more fears. It is not easy to break out of this vicious circle in which unpleasant images arise over and over again, sucking you into negative anxious thoughts. The mind pays more attention to what it considers most important. Plus, he spends more time thinking about these important emotions. This is how an unpleasant constant mood dominates the mind. It becomes a kind of roadblock that prevents other types of thoughts from overcoming it. This is a barrier and should be removed from your head.
A person who does not know how to deal with feelings, whose good emotions are covered by a cloud of fears, cannot shake off this darkness on his own.
It eventually turns into a snowball in the head of a person, which continues to grow and grow. And now you are losing control of it. You start thinking about scary things and they will suck up all your energy. How can you stop them?
Why negative (bad) thoughts come into your head
Here are some reasons why negative thoughts are lodging in your head that you can’t stop running:
Most people with depression, anxiety, stress, or the aftermath of negative trauma have a second self within them. Obsessive, negative, bad and overwhelming “I” in the head, which immerses them in a constant dialogue with anxiety, from which it is difficult to get out.
2. Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem often triggers negative thoughts as a result of self-doubt. It makes you constantly question yourself and what you are doing, which leads to anxiety disorders.
3. A large number of negative news around
These days, with all the information we have access to and the ease with which we can talk to many different people, it is much easier to have a disorganized mind, to the point that even the most emotionally healthy people can acquire destructive thoughts. Our brain is designed so that it is easier and more willing to concentrate on the negative, while taking positive news for granted. This is readily used by the media, daily preparing a portion of selected disasters and incidents.
How to get rid of negative thoughts: 5 effective techniques
Method 1: Write Your Thoughts
Psychologists believe that it is important to keep records of thoughts. This allows us to apply logic to the mental processes in the head.
Here’s an example: Someone is afraid of losing their job. Overnight, he becomes obsessed with the fact that management believes he is doing everything wrong and his anxiety grows. This vicious circle in the head will eventually lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, constantly thinking about everything that he could do wrong, sooner or later this person will do everything wrong. To gain control, balance, and coherence in thoughts and actions, there is nothing more rewarding than recording negative thoughts.
All you need to do is take a piece of paper and paper and write down every negative idea that pops into your head. And then find out for yourself its truth.
Statement: “I just know that everything I did at work was wrong.”
Revealing Truth: Is there anything that proves this to be true? Has my boss expressed dissatisfaction with my work? What did I do differently today than usual? What seems so bad to me? ”
It is mentally more difficult to sort out fears and apply an analytical approach to them, and on paper all contradictions and doubts immediately become noticeable.
On the Helppoint portal, it is possible to keep a diary online. You can not only write down and analyze your thoughts and beliefs, but also receive an analysis of your situations by a psychologist. How it works? Register, go through the questionnaire and the algorithm will select the most suitable psychologist for you. Pay for the type of consultation Diary, and start writing in the chat as in the diary as much and whenever you want. And your psychologist will regularly enter this chat and analyze what you have written, give feedback, advice, exercises.
Method 2: Planning Affirmative Action
This is good advice. Plan healthy activities early in the day. Such a simple thing as “quality time for yourself” gives very positive results in working with obsessive thoughts and allows you to get rid of nervousness. It stops your over-thinking. These activities can be very simple and brief, such as going out for coffee with a friend. Give yourself a break. Buy a book, cook a good dinner, listen to music, etc.
Method 3: Hierarchy of Problems
Obsessive thoughts are like smoke from a chimney, it is an indicator that something is burning inside us. This inner fire consists of our unresolved problems, which are difficult to get rid of, and which only get worse over time.
The first step to controlling the focus of our thoughts, feelings, and suffering is to clarify them.
How can we do this? There is a tip that will help you in this: identify your problems from the simplest and not burdensome to the complex ones that can be solved with a lot of effort. Start by writing down everything in order. You visualize and organize all the chaos that is inside you using brainstorming.
Then build a hierarchy, starting with what you consider to be minor problems, and ending with the most paralyzing ones that seem too big and insoluble to you.
Once you have visual order, ponder each point on the scale. Try to think rationally and come up with solutions for each of the problems.
Method 4: Separating Emotions from Reality
Emotional reasoning is a very common type of distortion. For example, if I have a bad day and feel frustrated, I begin to see life as an endless, dark tunnel. Another well-known idea is to think that if someone doesn’t love me, it’s because I don’t deserve to be loved. Getting rid of stereotypes can be difficult.
Thus, another healing technique that we must learn to use on a daily basis is objectivity. We cannot forget that our emotions do not always indicate objective truth. These are just momentary sentiments that we need to understand and manage.
Method 5: Prevent Intrusive Thoughts
Whether we like it or not, there are always and will be situations that will force us to plunge back into the abyss of obsessive thoughts. One way to notice these situations in time is to keep a journal. A simple thing like writing down your feelings every day makes you more conscious.
Write down whatever comes into your head. Describe situations where you have experienced certain feelings. There may be people, habits, or scripts that make you lose control or feel vulnerable, and that keep you from letting go of your fears.
Here’s what you need to do first when you find yourself replaying an unpleasant situation in your head for several days:
1. Identify your negative thoughts
Sometimes you don’t even realize what ideas are spinning in your head. Moreover, you have no idea how they affect you. Sometimes you even think that the sudden ideas that appear are true, even if they don’t come close to reflecting reality.
To better identify them and then remove them completely from your head, you must try to become aware of your most common emotions. Think about what you are saying to yourself, how you say it and when you say it. Write down these recurring ideas.
And then reflect on the course of this reasoning. Think about their origins, repetitions, and consequences. Do it from the point of view of an outside observer. If a friend tells you that he is in this state, what will you answer him? It will help you look at things from a different perspective and help remove negativity from your life.
2. Embrace some of these ideas
It is equally important to accept some of these thoughts. Recognize that these experiences are necessary in certain circumstances. Do not forget that it is impossible and even harmful to constantly try to block, avoid or eliminate negativity, this leads to the fact that it begins to bloom luxuriantly, like a weed.
3. Change your persistent negative thoughts (thought patterns)
After identifying these enemies, you are ready to change them. You can gradually start thinking more realistically and positively. To do this ask yourself:
- How else can I interpret these reflections?
- Could there be other, more realistic, logical and positive interpretations?
You may find it helpful to make a list.
After you have questioned every anxiety, it is time to start introducing alternative thoughts into your mind. They should be equally applicable to the situation, but more positive, realistic and adaptive. The idea is not to eliminate negative reasoning, but to change its focus. You must learn to ask yourself questions and to critically approach your negative thoughts so that they begin to lose their influence on your mind.
Learning to manage your negative thoughts is a process that takes a lot of time, practice, and consistency. A personal psychologist who specializes in dealing with similar problems will help you speed up this process. You can find one easily and quickly on our Helppoint service. Answer the questions of the questionnaire and the algorithm will instantly select a specialist for you who will help you get rid of negative patterns in several sessions.
4. Boost your self-esteem
Low self-esteem sometimes triggers negative thoughts as a result of self-doubt. It makes you constantly question yourself and what you are doing, which leads to negative disorders.
Another starting point is also thinking about your self-concept. Consider whether the way you perceive yourself affects how you deal with negative thoughts.