Feelings of guilt have a huge impact on a person. As a rule, it manifests itself in relation to close people, friends, or romantic partners. Guilt is primarily an emotion. It’s also a good way to get the person to do something for you because of their sense of duty. But it is more correct to think of wine as an internal state. In general, guilt is in the general category of negative sensory states, which includes various experiences, grief and loneliness.
Feelings of guilt can also be seen as a vehicle that holds our community together. It plays an important role in how people behave in society. This is a very valuable feeling. Because it makes us ask for forgiveness, makes us more aware and kind in relation to those whom we have offended. In most cases, people who have had this feeling will do anything to ease their feelings.
Despite all the negative talk surrounding this condition, many psychologists don’t badly label guilt feelings. They say that this feeling is the indicator that tells us what situation in our life needs to be corrected in order to turn it back into positive.
Women feel more guilty than men
It is known that women feel more guilt than men. Why? It’s all about their softer and kinder nature. Have you ever noticed how many times one woman can apologize for something or make excuses and ask for forgiveness? And there are a lot of such women. But guilt isn’t always right. Especially if it is used for manipulative purposes. So don’t let other people manipulate you with guilt.
There is a saying: “Lie to me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. ” Now consider how often you tolerate situations, such as those from family members who brazenly use guilt to get you to do what they need to do. Unfortunately, many people use guilt to manipulate other people. This can include tolerance for abuse. For example, when a woman who is abused by her husband is patient and silent. Because he feels guilty if he leaves him, or will not allow children to communicate with their father.
Feelings of guilt also manifest in a negative light towards children. When we want to make them behave in a certain way and do the way we want it. This is a depressing and wrong environment. When raising children, it is necessary to use morality and respect, and not manipulate guilt or other negative emotions.
Manifestation of healthy and unhealthy guilt
Guilt can be healthy in the sense that it stops us if we do what we think is wrong. It can also come in handy in cases where a person only has thoughts of committing a bad act. When we do what is morally wrong. Healthy wine leads us to socially acceptable norms and helps us to be conscious and helpful people. It helps us to work harder and keep our promises. Guilt is somewhat similar to our conscience. Which is based on our personal and life values.
Unhealthy guilt can arise when we set unreasonably high standards for ourselves. As a result, we feel guilty about not meeting these standards. This type of guilt lies in low self-esteem, and can also include a form of skewed self-esteem where we assume that everything that goes wrong is ours alone. In this case, we take any mistakes in our life too close to our hearts, and we are very worried about the slightest failures. We can also feel guilty for no good reason. Each person may exhibit a certain level of unhealthy guilt to some extent. But it also has its advantages. It feeds the gray areas of our lives. The places where we want to change in order to become better.
How can guilt be relieved?
1. Don’t regret the past.
The past can no longer be returned, so you should not focus on it. Tell yourself, “If I did something, I know I was sane and made a decision that I needed to do this.” You shouldn’t have any regrets about the past. You also need to understand that not all decisions are right. And each of us makes mistakes. So let go of your past, live in the present and think about the future. And if you understand that you did something wrong, then ask for forgiveness and move on.
2. You can’t please everyone
Each person has priorities in life, and he must adhere to them. You cannot “break” in all four directions to please everyone. Therefore, it is quite normal for you to do the tasks that are more important to you first. If someone does not understand this, then try to explain to him. But you do not have to do what is not important to you at the moment.
3. Be active
If you feel that your guilt is justified, and you came to this conclusion through rational thinking, then apologize and move on with your life. Communicate more with other people. Because guilt can sometimes convince you to isolate yourself and focus on negative thoughts. Therefore, it is important not to be alone. Feel free to share your regrets and concerns with other people. This will help you get rid of the guilt faster. Remember your favorite way to relax: get distracted by your favorite music, book. Or go for a walk and get some fresh air.
4. Control your negative thoughts
It can be much easier said than done. However, there are certain ways to keep negative thoughts in check. One way that works for many people is a technique called thought stopping. The core of this technique is that you deliberately command your negative thoughts to “stop.” Then you replace the negative thought with something more positive and realistic. Some people do this by loudly saying the word “Stop” when they realize that negative thoughts are prevalent in their minds.
Another method of controlling negative thoughts is to write them down on a piece of paper. When you’re done, crush or tear the paper and throw it in the trash can. This physical concept of eliminating negative thoughts helps many people. Therefore, you should also try it to relieve your guilt.
5. Writing a letter
If you feel guilty after the death of a loved one, then you can get rid of it with the help of writing. Write down everything you think. This may include things that you wanted to say to him but were not able to. Perhaps you would like to do otherwise, then write about this. After you’ve finished writing, re-read the letter and start imagining how the person will respond to it in a positive way. If that helps, you might even start writing an answer. Just don’t get too carried away with it. In order not to cause even stronger feelings of grief and loss.
6. Forgive yourself
Forgiving yourself means accepting what happened and allowing yourself to move on. In some cases, people inadvertently retain their guilt and rethink past scenarios in their heads. They constantly think about how they could have done otherwise, because it is still easier than letting go of the past and continuing to live. But it’s very important for you to accept what happened and forgive yourself. After all, as we said earlier, none of us are perfect. And we all make mistakes. But for this they are needed so that in the future they will no longer be performed.
So let go of self-condemnation and criticism of the past, and instead direct your emotions towards becoming better in the future. Even though guilt can be unbearable at times, you will eventually see the lessons you have learned from the past. Understand that some things are out of our control and you need to stop feeling guilty about them. For example, you had to pick up your child from school. But your car broke down and you didn’t make it in time. It was out of your control. Therefore, it is necessary to understand that we do not control everything that happens in life. And thanks to this understanding, many negative feelings will not bother you so much.