How to get rid of self-flagellation and self-criticism?
Healthy and constructive self-criticism is valuable to everyone. Thanks to her, we are moving forward to achieve our goals. But when people over-seek and constantly analyze their mistakes, then emotions take over and this leads to painful self-criticism. Self-criticism is a person’s reflexive attitude to himself. You can even say that this is the ability to independently look for mistakes in your actions and thoughts, understand them and try to correct them. If a person can boast of such an ability, then this indicates his absolute mental health. But if self-criticism becomes an obsession, then it can be seen as a deviation.
If a person does not possess high self-criticism, he will not understand what his strengths and weaknesses are, how he can grow and develop. But you need to develop, accepting yourself, and not rejecting because of the inconsistency with ideals. When a girl forms an ideal female image in her perception, she begins to endlessly compare herself with this image and, finding an incredible number of shortcomings, either diligently corrects them, or, in despair, gives up.
What do we mean by self-criticism?
Self-criticism is the ability of a psychically healthy person, through the prism of principles, life values and orientations, to control their own actions, evaluate the results of their activities and look for mistakes in their decisions.
In psychological science, I distinguish two types of self-criticism: objective and authoritarian. The first contributes to the development, the formation of a healthy perception of oneself – as a person. The second, however, does not allow the slightest mistake, “poking his nose” for each mistake.
The pros and cons of self-criticism
Healthy self-criticism has the following benefits:
- Awareness by the individual of the ineffectiveness of his actions;
- Getting additional motivation;
- Correct analysis of their activities;
- Ability to draw correct conclusions;
- Ability to eliminate problems and errors;
- The opportunity to get better and better.
The disadvantages of self-criticism include:
- In destructive self-criticism, people engage in self-abasement;
- She is capable of undermining self-confidence;
- Due to excessive self-criticism, people are able to drive themselves into depression, apathy or other unhealthy mental state;
- Causes a feeling of guilt;
- Distorts reality (the world around us is seen in black and white);
- Forms an excessive need for himself.
In order not to lose justice to yourself, it is best to have a scale formed from your values and beliefs. You also need to have a healthy lifestyle. A reasonable and objectively self-critical person knows what is important for him, can determine which qualities need to be developed, and which ones become an obstacle to achieving the goal. After all, this is what helps to find the right direction for self-development. In this case, self-criticism will be a good support and will serve as an incentive to improve yourself and achieve success.
How to eliminate excessive self-criticism?
- Thinking about motives. If the “inner critic” has begun to speak in you, then he must “present” only reasoned remarks, and everything else must be suppressed.
- Diary of your own successes. Write down all successfully completed cases in a notebook. Shift your focus from your negative to your positive and praise yourself.
- First we think, then we do. Motivate yourself with the well-known proverbs “measure seven times, cut once,” etc.
- We are not in a hurry. Learn to soberly estimate the timing of any tasks.
- We accept ourselves as we are. Appreciate yourself as a person, learn to use your shortcomings wisely and look for your strengths.
And in conclusion, I would like to say that the most important thing in the process of getting rid of self-criticism is a benevolent and sincere attitude towards yourself. The path of the self-secret will become your secret tool for achieving success. Well, in order for a complete understanding of the phenomenon of self-criticism to occur in your thoughts, take our test and find out if you treat criticism correctly.