I have had many trials and difficulties in my life, with which it was very difficult for me to cope alone. But I was always supported by close people. Therefore, I am also always ready to help a loved one, and strive to help other people. This gives me a “sea” of positive emotions and an understanding that someone really needs me and can be useful. Today I want to share my knowledge so that you can help a loved one when he needs it.
1. Compassion heals
We all experience pain quite often. It can be physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual pain or other pain. All this is an integral part of our life. We cannot get away from this. But we can stay strong and help those we love and who are also in pain.
When asked how to help a loved one, most people recommend drinking, relaxing and enjoying life. And there are those who may be annoyed by such questions. They can simply say that there is no need to whine or complain at a time when their loved one really needs help and support.
Such people are not capable of compassion, although showing compassion can really help a person. In doing so, it increases the depth of our relationship. We help the other person feel recognized and loved. As a result, he realizes that there are people next to him whom he can trust, and who will not leave him in a difficult situation.
2. Hear their story
Allowing someone to share their story will temporarily lessen their pain and hope for a better tomorrow. Their “burden will be lifted”, they will feel valued, needed and loved. They will have the strength, and the desire to live on.
When we share a story of our pain with someone who really cares, we also share the burden of that pain. The person’s pain is lessened and he feels much better.
When we take the time to listen and help a loved one, despite our workload, work, or other worries, we show that we value that person. At the same time, we refrain from judgments, and sincerely feel and understanding it. As a result, a person feels our love, and it becomes easier for him.
3. Reflect their feelings
Psychological pain is often accompanied by intense emotional sensations. Even if it’s feeling angry or angry, it still hurts. Our best reaction when we see this happening is to reflect to the person what we hear, how he speaks, what emotions we think he is experiencing. That is, as if we are becoming a mirror that helps him see himself more clearly.
4. You need to give inspiration
You need to try to cheer up and inspire the person. Encouragement includes words, phrases, and actions that help other people feel better when they are in pain.
The same is true for ourselves. Reassuring ourselves helps when we are in pain. Our “inner critic often appears” when we are at our lowest level. We may have to step outside ourselves for a moment and pretend to be someone else.
Treating ourselves with compassion is just as important when we are in pain as it is for other people when they are in pain. Life is too short to hurt others and ourselves. The time we can offer a healing remedy is compassion.
5. Facilitate decision making
The next step in helping your loved one is to take action. It would be too easy to tell the other person what to do, but it would negate the work we’ve already done in helping them accept the problem and take responsibility.
Assistance means concrete help, allowing the person suffering from pain to find their own solutions. At the same time, we ourselves participate in the process and help it. It means keeping listening, asking questions that help them find solutions, and letting them know that we have faith in their ability to take action.
We may never know the results of our help. It’s quite normal. After all, we help a person “get on his feet”, “shake off”, and continue to live on. An important step is to generate hope and faith to put one foot in front of the other as you move forward.
6. Start doing what he likes together
This method consists in the fact that you need to find out what makes your loved one feel better, and start doing it together. At the same time, you will need to pay attention to what makes him feel worse, why he withdraws into himself, or gets tired, and accordingly do it less.
That is, you together with him make up some of the most pleasant things, and with their help you help the person to get positive emotions and get out of depression. At the same time, show respect and love for him. Because a mentally ill person should always feel fully accepted and loved. He should feel safe and understand that you will not leave him.
7. Start working with negative thoughts
Many people experience psychological and emotional pain due to a large number of automatic negative thoughts. These can be negative thoughts about yourself, about the world around you, about the people around you, or negative thoughts about the future. You will need to write down the negative thoughts that your loved one expresses. Then sit down together and show how many negative thoughts are filling him.
Help the person look at him from the side. As a result, he will understand that he needs to fill himself with more positive thoughts, and stop concentrating only on the negative.
8. Tactile contacts
Another effective advice on how to help a loved one if he is emotionally hurt is tactile contacts, that is, ordinary hugs. Moreover, they should take place without a hint of a sexual context. This is a very simple yet very effective technique. All you need is to hug your loved one as often as possible. As a result, he will feel your warmth, love, care, and he will feel much better.