How to love yourself? – very important question. It is on this that harmonious relationships with the world, people and personal happiness are built. Lack of self-love is often low self-esteem, resentment and trauma from childhood. To understand how to love yourself, you must first of all raise your self-esteem and deal with your inner world. In the article, we will try to tell the reader in which direction to move in order to deal with this important issue.
How to love yourself: put things in order in your inner world
Let’s take it step by step what kind of order you need to put in your inner world in order to understand how to love yourself:
- The very first thing to do is to accept yourself and your body, namely your appearance. Accept your body as an integral part of yourself. Take care of yourself to stay healthy and feel good for as long as possible. Admit your love to yourself in the mirror, smile at your reflection. The book by Louise Hay “Become Happy in 21 Days. The most complete course of self-love ”. This book shows you step by step how to love yourself.
- The second step on the path to self-love should be a new habit, namely, start praising yourself for various achievements, even small ones: a delicious dinner or general cleaning in the house. It also helps relieve stress, but read more here. Praise will help you to believe in yourself and understand how good you are.
- Great for helping you understand how to love yourself is a search for merits. To increase your self-esteem, write down all the virtues and best character traits on a piece of paper. This will help you understand how many good qualities you own. Reread this list often and add new items.
- Your opinion of yourself should not depend on the opinion of others. Pass praise and criticism through the internal filter. First of all, you have to listen to yourself, it becomes much easier to live this way. Your independence from the assessments of others helps to stabilize your self-esteem.
How to love yourself: get rid of the burden of resentment and guilt
Get rid of the burden of resentment and guilt The first stage, how to love yourself, passed, and you can move on to the second. Very often, the severity of resentment and guilt gnaws at a person so much that he begins to hate or despise himself. After that, life becomes unbearable and everything around is seen in negative tones.
It is necessary to understand a few points to make it easier to find the answer to the question of how to love yourself:
- First, stop feeling guilty. There are no ideal people, everyone makes mistakes. Accept this fact and stop worrying about the past. Ask forgiveness from people you may have offended. If it is not possible to do it personally, write a letter and it does not matter that you cannot send it.
- Second, accept your past mistakes and forgive yourself. Acceptance should not be associated with weakness. Draw conclusions about your past mistakes, accept them and keep moving towards your goals. Making mistakes is a great experience.
- Third, let go of all grudges. Here we are talking about how to get rid of negativity and stop carrying a heavy load of resentment with you. To do this, you will have to remember a lot from the past: a classmate who called names or the first unrequited love (read our article). It is important for you to understand that all this was a kind of experience, and anger and resentment destroys self-esteem and makes you feel inferior. By forgiving offenders, you can get rid of many complexes.
Build relationships with others
Get some new habits that will help you not only love yourself, but communicate with others in a harmonious and loving way. The very first habit you should form is to stop comparing yourself to others. Each person is unique and inimitable by nature. Each has dignity and special character traits. Paying attention to the best qualities of famous personalities, people often compare them with their own. It seems to them that their qualities are much worse. This further lowers self-esteem and causes a storm of thoughts in my head: I am the worst of all, I am unworthy of anything in this life.
It is best to focus on yourself and on the awareness of your own desires and goals. Do not constantly flaunt flaws and tell others about them. Stop turning others against you. At the same time, try to please everyone, but bragging is also a bad idea. The only person with whom you can compare yourself is yourself. This should be based on the newly acquired knowledge.
It really helps to understand how to love yourself is to get rid of the habit of constantly criticizing yourself and others. Constant criticism lowers self-esteem. Stop shaming yourself for failures or failures in life. Allow yourself to make mistakes and accept your flaws. Some disadvantages can be turned into advantages by looking at them from a different angle. Instead of criticizing yourself, make a list of the qualities you would like to have and gradually instill in yourself new positive habits and character traits. Do not forget to praise yourself for new achievements and do it more often.
Define personal goals and cherished desires for yourself
This stage is useful for realizing and understanding how to love yourself. If a person is engaged in an unloved job or denies himself his favorite activities, then he often falls into depression (read the article “How to get out of depression”). We show great love for ourselves by doing things that are enjoyable. Doing things we love fill us with joy and happiness. Understanding your true desires is important on the path of happiness and self-love.
To show unlimited love and care for yourself, you need to take time and deal with your desires and goals:
- Sketch things and activities that you enjoy on a piece of paper. Make yourself happy with at least a few items from this list every day. The best way is to start your day with positive thoughts, then please and indulge yourself with something interesting.
- Listen to yourself, your desires. What would you like to actually do? Forget about the demands of your parents and those around you for your work or hobby. You should enjoy your activities, so ignore the opinions of others. Doing what you love that is fun and fulfilling will make you more successful than doing the work you hate. Success will give you confidence and self-esteem.
- Take the time to make a list of your true desires. Whether it’s a trip to the mountains or dancing classes, which you have long wanted to do, but did not dare, fearing the judgment of others. Your desires should be truly yours, and not imposed by relatives or fashion. Perhaps you will discover talents or wonderful qualities in yourself that you did not even know about.
How to love yourself: learn to appreciate and respect everything that surrounds you
How to love yourself, learn to appreciate and respect everything that surrounds you How to love yourself, and you knew that love begins with respect, these are two inalienable feelings that always go side by side. To lay a solid foundation for self-love, you need to learn to respect both yourself and others:
- First of all, respect your appearance, and most importantly, love it. Stop poisoning your body with bad habits, going on about fleeting weaknesses.
- Respect your mind, shield yourself from negative TV shows and toxic people, and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Gradually, you will be able to get rid of insecurity and fears.
Self-love is respect for yourself, your boundaries. Learn to set boundaries to stop doing what you don’t like.
- Respect the boundaries of others. Each has its own comfort zone, its own norm, its own habits. When you are not criticizing others, it is much easier to do this. Allow others to be you, respecting their habits and lifestyle.