Jealousy in relationships is quite common between a man and a woman. It has to do with human emotions that we instinctively experience. Mistrust can be of varying severity. This leads to the fact that you will feel uneasy about the presence of a person who is looking at your partner. Suspicion is a real problem and can create obstacles in the relationship between you and your partner, negatively affecting future feelings. Fortunately, overcoming jealousy in a relationship is possible.
What is jealousy
Literally, it means a strong desire for something. But in a social environment, it makes us doubt our partner and feel threatened by his interaction with certain people, in the places where you are together. But, as we mentioned earlier, there are varying degrees of jealousy.
Mistrust is not always negative. It’s normal for men to be suspicious of their women (and vice versa). But if you discuss these points, for example, you want to go to a meeting with friends or you will have a corporate party at work, in which there will be men and women, and after that you will go to rest in some place. In such cases, jealousy can be a harmless and completely normal reaction.
When a man who expresses his concern about his girlfriend hanging out with someone at work or seeing another man flirting with her is also part of a healthy relationship. Thus, we care about the well-being of our partner and show that we care about him. Sometimes, we may not even show resentment for long.
The problem arises when this feeling is accompanied by aggression and quarrels. Upon reaching this stage, we obsessively begin to doubt his or her loyalty, and this infuriates us. We have a misunderstanding, and then scandals begin.
At this point, you have a low level of tolerance, and soon your partner will not be able to even look at the other person or communicate normally with someone. You will control who he is with and perhaps even mentioning the name of another guy or girl will infuriate you.
Source of jealousy
Perhaps we had it with a past person during a deception, and then, we will be inclined to control our partner, fearing a repetition. Even if there was no reason for this, we become more and more desperate and will avoid various situations in which it may manifest itself.
Likewise, we can be the one who cheated in past relationships, at which point we want to make sure that we are the only object of his or her desires.
But, for the most part, jealousy is a side effect of your own self-confidence and self-esteem problems. We will feel that we are not good enough and that we ended up together by a fluke, and when someone looks at our loved one, we begin to feel threatened.
When we see how he communicates with someone, we think that he can be “taken away.” If we are not in a relationship for a long time with this person, then we will be disturbed by his communication with friends with whom he has been friends since childhood.
Why distrust is dangerous
Relationship jealousy is detrimental to those who cannot control it, as it destroys the most important factor, which is trust. Telling your girlfriend or boyfriend that he shouldn’t have lunch with a colleague is saying that you don’t trust him. If you will impose such restrictions in your relationship, then think, do you really need them?
Suspicions also take away your time together, as this will undoubtedly lead to numerous quarrels and resentments, as a result of which, we will focus only on the negative qualities of each other. In addition, we will spend most of our time thinking up silly scenarios in which he can trick us. Before this happens, and perhaps not, we, in turn, will spend a lot of energy and nerves on negative thoughts.
Mistrust will become more difficult to control as your relationship develops, so if your level of mistrust gets too high, then you should consider how to start getting rid of it.
Five ways to overcome jealousy in a relationship
- Learn from past experiences. Analyze how your behavior has influenced past feelings and use it in the present. You will soon find that these doubts are the cause of your hectic past love life.
- Focus on what is actually happening, not what you perceive, because over time you may have difficulty distinguishing between the real and your fiction. Don’t let your imagination dictate how you behave and what you think.
- Start to respect yourself. Understand that you were chosen for a reason, and that this person really needs you, so remember this in moments of doubt.
- Ask a friend to look at you in moments of jealousy. This will help you understand the scale of your problem, and you will also get a neutral assessment of the whole situation.
- Try to establish some general rules about what is and is not acceptable to you. This way, both of you will have an excuse in times of distrust when either of you behaves inappropriately.
You can be jealous in a relationship, but only when you hold yourself back and channel it in a positive direction. Keep in mind that it’s okay to flirt with your girlfriend or boyfriend. The whole point is that he or she looks really good, and others just can’t help emphasizing it.
Remember that trust is the foundation of any relationship, and you must not let your doubts destroy them. More importantly, show your partner the same respect you would like them to show you. If you show this, then you will also be reciprocated.