How to overcome shyness and self-doubt?

| April 21, 2021 | psychology

How often do you feel uncomfortable in ordinary life situations? Perhaps you think that everyone around you is confident, and you are the only person who behaves very modestly and does not know how to overcome shyness? Social awkwardness is a sign that you perceive a situation differently than most people. You may be embarrassed at some points, because you are an introverted person and do not like to communicate.

Just don’t get upset, everything can be fixed. Even if it seems to you that it is impossible. Just check out our tips on how to overcome shyness and build confidence.

1) Identify the root cause

In order to understand how to overcome shyness, you need to understand the reason for this behavior. Are you lacking in social skills or self-confidence? It is very likely that you may have both problems. They tend to feed off each other. You may have little experience with communication because you lack confidence. In turn, you may have low self-esteem because you don’t know how to behave in society.

Fortunately, once you start working on one of these problems, the other will improve as well. This means that even a little work on social skills and self-confidence can lead to success and your life will start to change. You need to muster up the courage and start working on yourself.

2) you need to understand the problem

Very often I hear the following: to become a confident person, you just need to be yourself. But it actually doesn’t work for everyone. Most people don’t fully understand what makes them feel uncomfortable. Thinking that you might be doing something wrong prevents you from being yourself. Or maybe you have made mistakes in the past that you were ashamed of. All this is stored in our memory for a long time and greatly interferes in social life. If you really know who you are and live your life, then you will be confident in any situation.

Most of us have some degree of shyness, even confident people. The only difference is how we feel about it. So you don’t need to think that you are worse than others. Start working on yourself and your mistakes, and do not pay attention to what they say or think about you.

3) Who are you really?

Knowing basic ways to overcome shyness will not make you confident. Once you have realized the problem, a lot of work must begin at that point. Just do not need to draw conclusions based on the opinions of other people. Try to think with your head. Think about who you really are? What do you like to do? Or what actions make you feel proud?

If you suddenly find yourself thinking badly, be sure to start changing it. Seeing your true self can be really tricky. You must be a conscious person and deeply understand your values ​​in life. It can make a big difference in your life. It will be easier for you to cope with various difficulties in life. You will become a calmer and more confident person. You cannot recognize yourself and your “I” at one time. This is what you will be aware of for the rest of your life. And the more you devote to this time, the happier and more confident you become.

A few tips on how to understand your true self

  • Meditation. Stay alone with yourself in complete silence. Use this time to release negative thoughts;
  • Introspection. Always ask yourself why am I doing this? Why are you angry or offended? Why do you react to things this way? The answer will give you hints on how to behave in certain situations and how to relate to them;
  • Nature. Spend time where there are no people, where it is quiet and calm. This is another great opportunity to hear your true feelings and desires.
    how to deal with shyness

4) Practical exercises on how to overcome shyness

You probably have a lot of deep-seated problems that relate to your social life. Most of the time, you don’t feel confident the first time you do something. This is completely normal and is experienced by many people, especially if you have made frequent mistakes in the past.

To fix this, start putting the following tips into practice:

  • Don’t feel like you’re the only one who is insecure or uncomfortable. Many people, especially beginners, put themselves below the rest. They assume that others will laugh at them when they make a mistake. But the point is, these people may also be wrong. Many of them may feel insecure, they just learned to hide it competently;
  • Have your point of view. Stop always agreeing with other people. You should have your own opinion based on your personal experience. If you don’t have one, try discussing with the person on this topic, but you don’t need to take his side right away;
  • Be honest with yourself. You don’t have to be who you are not. As we said earlier, listen more to yourself and your desires;
  • Find clubs that match your interests. There you can find like-minded people, make new friends and find yourself in a new environment for you;
  • Visit crowded places more often and try to communicate with strangers every time. In this way, you will begin to develop social skills and will step out of your comfort zone;
  • Find volunteer organizations and take part in helping other people or animals;
  • Travel to other countries. There is nothing more uncomfortable than communicating with people of other nationalities. Ideally, you should visit a place that is very different from your country. This will make you better adapt to society.

If you can force yourself to do this, your social fear and shyness will start to recede. You will notice that many people are embarrassed and realize that this is not so and scary.

5) How to build faith in yourself

You must remember that building confidence and cultivating self-esteem has nothing to do with your past and who you were before. Real confidence means that you have an inner feeling and are able to take on any life challenges, including social ones. By overcoming shyness and putting yourself in situations where you need to exercise social skills, you will acquire a new environment. Constantly try new things in your life. Don’t dwell on one problem or get stuck in a routine. Confidence is actually solid resilience in difficult life situations.

Don’t let other people’s opinions influence you. You are in a weaker position by allowing other people to dictate terms to you. For example, if you never wanted to be a doctor, but your parents insist on it, they thus kill your self-esteem, forcing you to do what you do not want. By relying on the opinions of others, we deprive ourselves of the ability to make strong decisions. Try not to get too attached to other people and be dependent on someone. Being overly attached to a person means that you are under their influence. This gradually destroys your self-esteem.

The problem of how to overcome shyness is really urgent for many. Although, there are some people who don’t take it seriously and ignore it. Working on yourself is really difficult, and self-confidence, especially in the social sphere, does not build up overnight. But there is nothing better than a true belief in yourself built on a real basis.