How to overcome your love addiction and stop thinking about your ex?
Love can be defined as an obsessive and intense desire for someone. Even when this person may be unsuitable or toxic to you, your need for him is so strong that you create a tolerance for his toxicity. Because being separated from this person is causing you great suffering, and you simply cannot overcome the addiction of love. Your craving for him is so intoxicating that you are ready to sacrifice everything for him.
Many psychologists say that love is as strongly linked to attachment as drug abuse. They believe that attachment is probably the most common but least recognized type of addiction.
There are several different theories as to why some people are more prone to obsessive compulsive disorder than others. Typically, people who are addicted to love are emotionally immature, insecure, and suffer from low self-esteem. They tend to show feelings of powerlessness, jealousy, and paranoia on a regular basis.
People who are addicted to love tend to form unhealthy, obsessive, and self-destructive romantic relationships. They constantly form relationships with inaccessible, abusive, or narcissistic partners. Obsessive compulsive disorder becomes especially fraught when feelings of love are rejected or unrequited. At this stage, a relatively normal obsession can turn into an unhealthy one. There is a very fine line between what is classified as compulsive but relatively harmless behavior and what goes into an unacceptable area.
There are several steps you can take to stop thinking about your romantic partner. Although, this may not be easy and it is unlikely that you will achieve the desired result quickly. However, these tips will help you on your recovery path anyway. Just note that you must be honest with yourself. If you cannot honestly answer the following questions, then you are probably better off going to a psychologist. So ask yourself these questions, put the answers on paper, and stick to the tips below.
1. What motivates you?
What do you really hope to achieve with your behavior? What do you want from the object of your desire? Why are you so emotionally dependent on him? Why do you think you are happier when you are with him? Do you crave mutual love? If so, why?
2. Why this particular person?
More than 7 billion people live on our planet. What is so special about your beloved / loved one? Why do you devote so much time and energy to him? Do you ignore or overestimate its shortcomings? Do you close your eyes to his / her behavior?
3. Become aware of this problem
One of the most important steps you need to take is to acknowledge your addiction. But by no means blame yourself for this. As a rule, all our problems come from childhood. And any attachment to other people can be the result of dislike in childhood. You also do not need to hold evil on your parents, but it is better to establish relationships with them, if you have the opportunity. If not, then try to forgive them.
4. Control your thoughts
Negative thoughts will not help you overcome your love addiction. Therefore, you must acknowledge your negative thoughts and, when they reappear, then replace them with other, more positive thoughts and images.
5. Delete all reminders
This sounds pretty obvious, but it’s imperative that you delete all reminders of this romantic partner. Clean up conversations on social networks and messengers, remove him / her from your friends on social networks. Sell or donate his / her items to charity, or simply dispose of them by any means possible. Resist the temptation to date him / her to hand things over in person. This will only make the situation worse.
6. Stay away from bad habits
The use of various alcoholic beverages and other bad habits only increase the melancholy, and common sense simply disappears from your head. In addition, bad habits increase anxiety and stress. Hence, in the long run, it will inevitably make you feel worse. So stay away from them.
7. Follow the no-contact rule
One of the best ways to overcome love addiction and move forward in your life is to simply not have any contact with your lover / lover. This also includes not responding to any form of communication with him / her. Only if it does not concern the well-being of your common children.
8. Keep active
Write down a list of all the activities that you enjoy. Write a list of all your friends and acquaintances that you enjoy spending time with. Also write a list of all the goals that you would like to achieve this year. Visualize more and envision your happy future. Make sure you include your professional and personal ambitions in this.
Armed with this information, write a plan for how you are going to achieve your goals. And when planning your actions, think about small steps and short-term goals. Having goals will help you get rid of love addiction much faster.
9. Constantly find yourself activities
Plan your every day, and keep yourself busy with activities on a regular basis. If you don’t have a job right now, then volunteer. Renovate your home or apartment. Play sports and exercise. Long walks in the fresh air are great for raising your spirits and improving your well-being. Work to improve yourself and your environment. Be sure to keep a journal and stick to your plans.
10. Learn to recognize healthy relationships
It may sound daunting, but the essence of a healthy union boils down to one thing – happiness. This means that your relationship should be a positive addition to your life, not a disadvantage. If you are not sure if this relationship is positive or not, then write a list of all the positive and negative aspects of your union. If the negative side strongly outweighs the positive, then it’s likely time to move on.
11. Give yourself time
Time is the best doctor when we want to overcome love addiction. Stick to your decisions and stay away from contact for as long as possible. Until then, focus your energy on other things: your friends, your career, your favorite hobbies. Start caring about those things that are equally important to your successful future.
The most important thing to remember when trying to overcome a love addiction is that you are a truly wonderful person who deserves to be happy, and you will definitely find your soul mate. So don’t dwell on just one partner. Especially if you do not see reciprocity from him.
Whenever you feel that you are doing something wrong, for example, call him or write, then just switch yourself to other actions. Your senses will cool down after a while anyway. Always remember that you have only one life, and you need to live it in joy and happiness. So make the most of every day for yourself. Be grateful for all the good and positive things in your life.