Do you feel like your relationship lacks intimacy, communication, or rapport? Although emotional closeness in a couple is really necessary. But don’t worry if you have this problem. Many couples find themselves in a situation where emotional disconnection is created between them. This can happen at the very beginning of your relationship, when you don’t know your partner well enough. But, unfortunately, this problem can also be observed in couples who have been living together for a long time. This is especially common after the birth of children. When parents turn their full attention to the child and forget to show feelings for their partner.
Restoring emotional closeness is up to you
You always have a choice. If you want to restore emotional closeness in a relationship, you can do so. But you have to take the initiative. As Miguel Ruiz said in his book The Mastery of Love, “The only way to get love is to practice it.” You can, of course, wait for your partner to take the first step. You may even blame him for creating distance between you. But without mutual desire, it will be difficult for you to achieve a positive result. Therefore, you should not close your eyes to this problem. And discuss it openly with your partner. Because the lack of emotional intimacy in a couple can lead to feelings of insecurity. As a result, you become unsure of your partner’s feelings, love and devotion.
Emotional intimacy in a couple and its benefits
Emotional closeness requires a high level of transparency and openness in relationships. This implies a certain degree of vulnerability. Which can make many people feel uncomfortable or anxious. But these sensations tend to diminish and disappear over time. Couples who have no problems with emotional intimacy experience a sense of peace with themselves and with each other. They are willing to share their secrets, worst failures and mistakes. They tell each other their most embarrassing moments. They also share their most cherished dreams and hopes in life. These couples are more free to express their feelings for each other. All of this improves their relationship, as well as mental and physical health.
How to restore emotional intimacy in a couple
When you open your heart and reach out to your partner. You will probably be surprised by his willingness to work on relationships. Here are 4 actionable tips you can start applying right now. To restore emotional closeness and start enjoying your relationship again.
1. Appreciate what you have
As our relationship develops, we tend to take our partner for granted. We get used to the fact that our partner loves and cares for us, and we begin to crave more. And although it may be perfectly normal. But the main thing is to get back on track and remind yourself of why you love your partner and how important he is in your life. Acknowledge and appreciate all the little things he does to show his love and devotion. Don’t hold back your gratitude. And make sure you express it both verbally and physically.
2. Have a heart-to-heart conversation
The reason you feel emotionally distant may be because your conversations are reduced to mundane. You talk about how your day went, what you need to buy after work, and how you will spend your days off. But such conversations are not conducive to understanding each other. Emotional intimacy in a couple requires transparency. Discussion of all the details of your feelings. And possible relationship problems.
So set aside some time every week, or better yet, every day. To have a heart-to-heart talk with your loved one. And no matter how busy or tired you are, take the time anyway. For you and your partner to share personal needs, values, dreams, fears, and so on. After all, emotional closeness in a couple is largely due to understatement. You can prepare for your conversation in advance. Taking notes in your diary. In order not to forget to mention something important during the conversation. When you and your partner are finished talking, try to write down or remember what you said. To get a good grasp on what you need to work on in the future.
3. Don’t forget to work on yourself and your feelings.
Too often we forget about our own feelings. And we even perceive them as something unimportant. We tend to hide our emotions, especially those that make us feel uncomfortable or make us angry and sad. But if we want to improve relations with a loved one and with people around us. Then you must be in harmony with yourself. And learn to sincerely express your emotions and feelings, and not hide them. Only by expressing your opinion openly can you create an atmosphere of emotional closeness with your partner. And when you start doing this, you will probably notice that your partner wanted to share similar thoughts with you as well.
4. Make plans
Surprise your partner with a thoughtful plan in the development of your future relationship. Which will be tailored exactly to your and his preferences. When we think about planning something special, we show the person how much we value them. And how much we want to make the relationship with him happier. So take the time and think about what your partner loves the most. And when you do this for him, then encourage your partner to do the same for you. Alternatively, you can negotiate with your loved one. And take turns every week to surprise each other with individual plans and surprises.
Keep in mind that emotional closeness in a couple does not recover overnight. This requires regular relationship work. So talk to your partner about starting to pay more attention to your feelings. And talk over everything that happens in your relationship. There is no need to wait for the partner to take the first step to solve this problem. Be the first to take the initiative. And be patient. If you really want to rebuild your relationship and return love.