Our friends very often become close people to us, and quarrels and disagreements with them negatively affect us and our well-being. When situations like this happen, we try to figure out how to restore friendship with that person, especially if we have been together for many years. We need to find out why the breakup occurred and whether this person is suitable for us for further friendship.
Rate your attitude towards this person
When such situations arise in our life, we experience various emotions, it can be anger, resentment, anger and many others. It is important for us to calm down at this moment, and as soon as our well-being improves, we need to think it over in a calm atmosphere. Friendship analysis is a good idea. You can take paper, pen and answer these questions:
- Do you feel that your friendship is beneficial for both of you?
- Are you usually happy to see your friend?
- Do you and your friend laugh a lot together?
- Have you sometimes felt manipulated by him?
- Do you often share problems with him?
- Do you always do what he asks?
- How well do you relate to each other?
- Can you confirm that there is honesty, loyalty and trust in your relationship?
- How many friends do you have in total?
There is no need to answer them right away. You can add your own questions that you think are important for your particular situation. Take your time, let your feelings and emotions cool down. Try to answer them honestly. After that, you will be able to look at the situation from the other side and make the right decision. The answers to these questions will show if you really miss him and whether it makes sense to think about how to reconnect with this person.
Reasons for parting
The reason can be anything, but in most cases everything turns out to be not as serious as it seemed at first glance. The most common reason for disagreement is a common misunderstanding. Everyone takes their own position and tries to defend it.
As you reflect on the reasons for your quarrel, write your thoughts. Then put yourself in your friend’s shoes and try to describe the situation from his point of view. Try to understand how he is feeling and what he is thinking. This activity can be emotionally difficult, but try not to give in to feelings and emotions. This activity will help you understand why your friend did this and how he might be feeling right now.
The most important aspect to consider is whether the fight is really serious or just a normal outburst of emotions. Think about the real reasons and ask yourself, can you survive this, and how much will this situation affect your future relationship? If you feel that your friendship cannot be the same, then you would be better off breaking up.
Ways to Rebuild Friendship
If you decide that you want to be with this person, then take a piece of paper, a pen and answer these questions:
- How much did this situation upset you?
- How upset is your friend?
- How open are you to each other?
- How many years have you been friends?
- Is this situation worth breaking up after all these years of friendship?
- What do you think if you rebuild the relationship, what will it give you?
To complement your answers, make a list of what you like and value about this person. These can be aspects of his character, appearance or demeanor. The more you write down these characteristics, the better. After answering, you should be more positive about this situation.
Next, you need to initiate a meeting or conversation. If a person is the first to make contact, that’s even better. But in most cases, you will have to take the first step. This could be a meeting at a place you frequent, a phone call, or you can text him.
Things to Consider When Establishing Contact
If you feel guilty about this situation, then you need to apologize. If the argument is about “I’m right and you’re wrong,” then think, “Is it better to be right or have a real friend?” It is not necessary to prove your case in all situations. Your relationship should be more important than this. Sometimes a little gift can help you, especially if it matters to the two of you. It will bring a smile to your friend and fond memories.
Don’t play the victim
Whatever feelings you feel, never act like a victim. This makes you weaker and will not help solve the problem. People do not like this behavior, this is how you show your innocence in this situation. Be honest and open. If the situation really needs a detailed discussion, then be sure to do it. Let your friend express their point of view. Don’t interrupt and listen carefully, and then tell him what you think. Ask him what solution to this problem he sees. Remain calm and open. This will make your conversation easier. No need to joke, take the situation seriously and show that you want to find a way to repair the friendship.
If you can’t make up
Perhaps you or your friend are experiencing a deep resentment that you cannot get rid of. Remember, there is always hope and ways to restore friendship. Some people need to be given more time to draw a conclusion from the situation and make a decision as well. If you truly value and respect this person, then you will need to try different ways to restore friendship. But no matter what happens, respect your friend’s choice. Draw a conclusion from this situation, and keep moving on.