Usually, husbands who are unfaithful to their spouses do not leave their families. The reason is that “on the sidelines” such men are looking for new experiences that they cannot get from their wife. However, there are times when a man is so carried away that he decides to leave the family. In this article, you can find the answer to the question of how to get your husband back from his mistress, because it is quite possible if you adhere to certain rules of behavior.
7 main reasons for a husband to leave the family
The relationship between husband and wife is a delicate matter. There is no universal recommendation that would help resolve all problem situations that arise in life. If we talk about the husband’s departure from the family, then there can be a huge number of reasons for this. Among the most common are:
- The wife often “nags” her husband: she complains, expresses dissatisfaction, demands to perform household duties. Gradually, the husband gets tired of the daily reminders that it is necessary to try to earn more money, that the children have grown out of clothes and need to buy new ones, that he promised to hang the bookshelf a week ago. Discontent accumulates, a desire arises to abstract from constant tension, to relax, and as a result, the husband goes to his mistress, who at first seems completely different from his wife: soft, understanding, not burdening with requests and claims. Having come to his mistress, a man gets everything he dreamed of: a hearty dinner, a warm bed and understanding. Looking at the situation from this angle, the wife should remember the last time in their family there was something like this.
- Lack of communication and long business trips can also lead to cheating. Very often men who work as truckers go to their mistresses. The husband is gradually moving away from the family, but the need for a home, female care and attention does not disappear anywhere. This is what a man receives in the arms of his mistresses.
- Middle-aged men (about 40 years old) very often have a desire to regain their elusive youth. As a rule, the wife changes greatly over the long years of life together, both externally (for example, gaining weight) and spiritually (ease of communication disappears, common themes disappear). This happens for natural reasons: there is practically no free time that can be spent on yourself due to the conduct of everyday life and raising children. But the desire of a man to see a beautiful woman next to him, who is also smart, does not disappear anywhere. It is precisely the discrepancy between the image of an ideal woman and a real wife that pushes the husband to commit adultery. Sometimes mistresses even outwardly resemble a wife in her youth.
- One of the reasons for male infidelity can be a loss of interest in sex life on the part of the wife. Modern women are busy all day: everyday life, work, raising children – all this requires colossal efforts and leads to constant fatigue. In other words, there is no longer any energy left for sex. Receiving rejection after rejection, the man ceases to take the initiative. However, still wanting to satisfy sexual needs, the spouse begins to look “to the side”. In this case, leaving the family for a mistress is solely due to the lack of sex with his wife.
- Sometimes the relationship between spouses worsens after the birth of a child, if the wife gives the baby all her attention and care, forgetting about her husband.
- Regular conflicts in the family always lead to a disastrous outcome. A woman-“saw” with constant claims will eventually start to annoy, but a mistress can provide a man with much-needed peace of mind.
- One of the most significant reasons for a husband’s departure is falling in love. It is very difficult to return a husband who was inflamed with strong feelings from his mistress.
Is it necessary to return the “prodigal” husband?
Nobody but you can answer this question. Think carefully about the situation and understand what you want: start life from scratch or still return your husband from your mistress home. It will be easier for you to make a decision if you answer the following questions as sincerely as possible:
- Were you absolutely happy with your marriage? What moments did not suit you?
- What disadvantages does your spouse have? Do you want to continue living together with him?
- Do you love your husband? Will you find the strength to forgive him for betrayal?
- Can you get over the breakup?
By honestly answering these questions, you realize whether you need to try to return your beloved husband from his mistress to the family, or whether you should let him go.
It should be borne in mind that, when solving this issue, one cannot follow the lead of the hurt ego and the thirst for revenge. Family psychologists name the following reasons for women’s desire to fight to get their husbands back from their mistress:
- The child (children) does not need a father who comes, but a constantly participating in the educational process. On the other hand, children grow up and, over time, start families, ceasing to feel an urgent need for parents. As soon as the children leave their father’s house, the mother of the family will be left alone with a man who has already been convicted of treason once.
- Fear of loneliness. Often a woman is afraid that, having a child in her arms, she cannot or should not build a personal life with another man. Of course, this is a delusion! If your husband went to his mistress, in no case should you think that this is where your personal life is over. Being free, you have every chance to find true family happiness by finding a new life partner.
- Dependence on public opinion. Do not think what people will say, because this is your life, not theirs. If you understand that you want to return your husband from your mistress, so be it.
- But keep in mind that returning a man is only worthwhile if you truly love him. Think about what drives you? If feelings such as love and passion come to mind, then go for it! It is important to understand that it will not be easy to return a husband from his mistress, be prepared to compromise, change the habitual foundations of life and, of course, forgive.
How to get a husband back from his mistress: advice from psychologists
After receiving news about the betrayal, many begin to worry about the question: is it possible to return a husband from his mistress at all? Can! To do this, you need to calm down a little and try to make sure that the memories of the incident are forever erased from your spouse’s memory. This will require you to seriously work on yourself and the surrounding reality. When developing a plan of action, start from the existing situation.
1. The husband has not yet left the family.
Does the spouse stay with his mistress from time to time, but hesitates to leave the family? Hurry up. If you do not hesitate, you can quickly return your husband from his mistress to the family!
- Change your look: hairstyle, make-up, clothing style, lose weight (this will help the gym or dancing). Women love this with their ears, men are important about the picture! In a new look, it will be much easier to return your husband!
- Reconsider your attitude towards sex. Remember that this is one of the main reasons why the mistress managed to captivate your spouse. If you are going to return your husband, stop referring to fatigue, bring something new to your intimate life with your husband (role-playing games, watching films “for adults” and so on). Believe me, it will be extremely unpleasant for a mistress to find scratches on the back or aspirations on a man’s neck – for this it is worth surpassing yourself! If your husband expresses dissatisfaction, you can always refer to a passionate impulse from which you lost control over your actions.
- Be consistently smiling, joyful and easy-going. Create an environment at home that you don’t want to leave. Changing your demeanor will help you get your husband back from his mistress.
If your husband informed you that he is again late at work, do not rush to get upset: answer that you also have plans for tonight. And do not forget to confirm your words with actions: bring beauty and take your leisure time, and most importantly, come back home after your husband and in excellent mood. In any man in such a situation, possessive feelings will leap up, and the reaction to the situation will not be long in coming!
- Actively involve your husband in joint activities (but not in cleaning) and raising children. For example, ask him to visit a store with you where you looked for new shoes yesterday, but are in doubt about whether to buy. Get together in the evening to play board games with the whole family, and go to school together. By doing something together, you will become closer, and it will be easier for you to return your husband.
- Analyze and correct your mistakes. It is worth writing down all the mistakes, remembering what the spouse was dissatisfied with. The fact that your husband began to “look to the left” is also your fault. In an effort to get your husband back, try to compensate for everything that your spouse may have missed before: have sex more often, if there was not enough of it before, get up in the morning to take him to work, if you haven’t done this before, help relax in the evening after work, if you previously expressed dissatisfaction his constant weariness. Of course, changing behavior overnight is difficult, but quite real!
- Introduce confusion in the relationship between husband and mistress: convey to her that you have a close relationship with your spouse. The fact is that men, conquering a mistress, often tell pitiful stories about how bad they live with their wife, that there has been no sex and spiritual intimacy in the family for a long time, and the only thing that prevents divorce is unwillingness to injure children. You can make your mistress doubt by posting family photos in which you glow with happiness on social networks. Also, posts with ambiguous pictures will be appropriate – a bouquet of flowers, a quote with meaning, and so on. Be sure to tag your husband on the published photo and write him a touching comment. Mistresses always keep a close eye on their wives’ accounts, and this kind of trick will help you get your husband home.
- Organize a joint vacation. Any leisure time when you can be alone will help you get your husband back. Moreover, the lack of money or time should not be a hindrance: a trip to the lake does not require large expenses, and you can go to a restaurant even in the evening after work.
- Try to find common interests. A man will be pleased if you show interest in his favorite sport or hobby. If your husband is an avid fisherman, and you suddenly prove yourself as a connoisseur of fishing tackle, believe me, he will be pleasantly surprised! The thought will appear in the man’s head that he does not know something about you. Isn’t there a reason to meet and fall in love again?
- Establish close contacts with his relatives – call up, invite them to visit. If you manage to make your mother-in-law your ally, you will only win!
2. Husband and mistress already live together.
If, nevertheless, the husband went to his mistress, it will be much more difficult to return him to the family.
- First – work on yourself! We try to calm down, leave worries in the past. Instead of self-torture, cry heartily, and then start changing the world around you: make repairs or at least rearrange, acquire a hobby. After some time, you will feel that you are strong enough to start fighting to get your husband back from his mistress. After that, you can proceed to specific actions.
- Be confident in yourself! If you want to return your husband from your mistress, during infrequent meetings, behave in such a way that there is not even a hint of your inner feelings. An elegant gait, a relaxed open smile and a proud posture – you must look great!
- Allow yourself veiled criticism of your mistress. Phrases like “Something you have lost weight recently (you look unhealthy, untidy, became irritable, twitchy, and so on) will help you to return your husband, let me feed you a hearty dinner in a friendly way.”
- Try to correct your past mistakes. Realize that there is some part of your fault in what happened. Accepting this as a fact, you will feel relieved.
- Husband visits, for example, on days of meetings with children, should take place in a peaceful, calm atmosphere. Be open and friendly, show interest in your husband’s affairs, help him relax – this demeanor will help you return the man to the family.
- Don’t forget about your own appearance! Having set out to return your husband from your mistress, you must look so stunning that even with a chance meeting, make an unforgettable impression on your spouse!
- Make your husband jealous. Make him a witness as you get out of a colleague’s car. Possessive feelings will make the husband react! However, it’s important not to overdo it! If you really want to get your husband back, do not whip up a fog, answer, without going into details, that you should not pay attention to it.
- Be self-reliant. Refute your husband’s belief that you will not live a day without him. Your independence will make your spouse respect you and think about returning.
- Keep within the framework of benevolence, without excessive warmth. Establishing a friendly framework will make your husband nervous and try to get your attention. You will switch roles – now he will conquer you. Try on the role of a quivering and playful doe, and give him the right to be a hunter. Sometimes the husband then goes to his mistress, then returns to the family, in order to leave her again after some time. This situation indicates that you and your mistress have complementary qualities, and it is difficult for a man to make the final choice. If that’s the case, try to show your best. Give him the opportunity to get to know you again, get rid of everything that burdened your life together: try to organize a joint vacation, say compliments, show more attention and care to your man, and your chances of getting your husband back from your mistress will greatly increase.
It is important to understand: there is no universal way to get rid of your mistress and return your husband to your family! Each situation is individual. However, there is a rule that suits everyone without exception: you should always start with yourself!