Any relationship has problems, it cannot be avoided. But in most cases, to resolve conflicts in relationships, partners need to listen carefully to each other and have effective communication skills. Indeed, in any case, it all boils down to the ability to communicate effectively and express your thoughts correctly.
It is our human nature to want to be heard and understood. Indeed, it often happens that we talk with a person, sincerely express our thoughts and feelings. We are trying to convey important information, but at that time he did not hear us and was thinking about something of his own. This is very annoying, and in the future, interest in such a person disappears. Therefore, we have prepared some effective communication tips for you. We will go over the most basic and most effective methods. So remember everything well, and then be sure to put it into practice.
1. Listen with intent to understand
Be extremely attentive and focus on understanding what the person is saying. Listen to keywords and phrases, focusing on important information such as names, dates and events. When you are engaged in a conversation, argument, or other discussion, try to understand how the person is feeling right now and also grasp their point of view. You should focus on understanding your partner’s opinion. Our human nature is such that we often miss important points that our loved one says. And before you form your own opinion, try to understand your partner. In other words, put yourself in his shoes.
This is often the case, especially in family disputes. When we are so preoccupied with proving our own point of view that we neglect to understand what our partner is talking about. So listen to him carefully. Wait for him to speak, and then repeat what you think is most important to him. First, it will show that you listened carefully to the person and tried to sincerely understand him. And secondly, it will strengthen the understanding of what has been said. In this way, you demonstrate that you care for your partner and that you are willing to understand the situation.
2. Pay attention to body language and non-verbal messages
First, start with yourself. Show that you are truly interested in the conversation. Don’t cross your arms, put them in pockets, turn away from the person, or look away when they speak. If you do this, then show that you are tired of the conversation and that the person does not deserve your time and attention. To resolve conflicts in a relationship, it is very important to be focused on the interlocutor. Therefore, bend over as the person speaks, maintain eye contact, place your hands so that you can see them, and do not slouch. By doing this, you demonstrate your interest in communication, show that you are open to dialogue and listen carefully to the interlocutor.
There is such a thing as imitation of another person. This is when, when communicating, you try to copy his behavior, gestures and words. This helps the speaker feel more comfortable with you. Puts both of you on an equal footing and helps resolve conflicts. In addition, facial expressions are of great importance. If you frown or get angry when a person speaks, this can be taken as disapproval of what was said. Unlike a calm facial expression, or a light and kind smile, which always has a positive effect on the interlocutor. And it is a good tool for resolving conflicts in relationships. Your body language says a lot about how you interpret what is being said. One of the main rules to follow when communicating is to just relax and be yourself.
3. Express your words and feelings sincerely.
Honesty and trust are other important tools for resolving relationship conflicts and communicating effectively with your partner. People are more likely to accept what you say if you show yourself to be open and honest. If you have something to say, don’t be afraid to express yourself. But, if it can hurt your loved one, then find a way to express your opinion in a softer way. In order not to offend a person, but at the same time not to lose the meaning of what was said. Always be tactful and learn to articulate your thoughts clearly. The point of effective communication in a relationship is to be able to express thoughts and feelings so that the partner can understand them. Speak in a calm tone, but loud enough for your partner to hear you well, but not so much that it can be perceived as screaming. You can formulate some phrases before speaking to avoid slurred speech.
4. Be polite and don’t insult your partner
When talking with your loved one, adapt your speech so that he has no reason to be offended by what you say. Refrain from blaming, and instead, focus on solving the problem. Be clear about what you think is the main problem in your relationship. If there is disagreement as to what the real problem is, then work on it together to find the true cause. Once you reach an agreement and identify problems, focus on finding solutions rather than blaming and insulting.
When communicating, use the words “I” and “we” rather than “you” or “you”. For example, instead of phrases: “you did the wrong thing”, or “you are not saying that at all.” Say the following: “we did it wrong” and “I did not understand what you wanted to say, please explain in other words.” When you use “you” in a conversation, it immediately puts the person in protection mode. And our goal is to come to an agreement and find ways to resolve conflicts in a relationship. Instead of arguing or expressing your dissatisfaction.
5. Be positive if you want to resolve conflict in a relationship.
Before starting a conversation with your loved one, take a moment to collect your thoughts. Take a deep breath and maintain a positive attitude. Focus on achieving results and resolving conflict. Feel free to use the words “I’m sorry” and “I understand.” These two simple phrases can do a lot, and can greatly help in resolving a conflict. If your conversation gets too emotional, don’t be afraid to ask for a minute to calm down.
6. Summarize your conversation
Once you have a solid understanding of the other person’s point of view, express it in a few sentences. At this stage, you should filter out points that are not important for the discussion. Indeed, in order to resolve conflicts in a relationship, you must have a good understanding of what is the central issue. Then voice it in a few short sentences.
Only here it is important to understand that listening is a skill that requires practice. It is easy to hear what the other person is saying, but understanding their feelings and true message is not always easy. In most cases, people speak through their own experiences. Therefore, in order to understand the true meaning of what was said, you must have the ability to mentally immerse yourself in the experience of a person. By doing this, you will begin to better understand your partner and your relationship will be more sustainable.