Sometimes we begin to notice signs of envy of the success of loved ones. We understand that this feeling is not positive. As a result, we are looking for ways to get rid of it, so as not to envy the success of our friends. In fact, this is a really common situation. Many people are constantly jealous of their loved ones, especially if they grew up together. Because in most cases we are quite similar to our friends in personality, status and starting point in the social ladder. Therefore, it is quite natural that we begin to compare them and ourselves.
But every person’s life develops with great differences. And just because you had a similar starting point doesn’t mean you have to be in the same place. After all, everyone has their own path, and each person builds life at his own discretion. Therefore, if you feel that you are “behind” friends and relatives, and desperately want to catch up, then take a look at these eight ways to get rid of the feeling of envy of loved ones.
Practical advice on how not to be jealous of your friends’ success
1. Admit the problem
The first place to start is to fully acknowledge your position. You don’t need to tell anyone about your envy, but admit it for yourself. Without full acknowledgment that you truly envy your loved ones’ success, you will not be able to get rid of this problem.
So go to the mirror and take a close look at yourself. Look into your eyes and say, “I seem to envy my friend, brother, sister. Their accomplishments make me feel uncomfortable. It worries me that they seem to be doing much better. ”
Yes, it’s silly to think so. But that is what it is. And there is nothing you can do with your emotions and feelings right now. They can only change over time, and only when you start working on yourself. But, the first step is to accept the problem. And sometimes that’s enough to make you feel a little better.
2. Remember that you are a unique person.
The next piece of advice on how not to be jealous of your friends’ success is to recognize the fact that you are a unique person. The fact is that the achievements and successes of a person largely depend on his emotional mood. Therefore, as often as possible tell yourself that you are a completely unique person, and there is no one on Earth exactly like you. You have your own desires and a certain path in life to go through. And it is completely unlike anyone else’s path. Therefore, it makes no sense to compare yourself with other people. It’s like apples and oranges.
Trying to find your path in life is essential, both for your own happiness and for not being jealous of your friends.
3. Listen to your inner voice
In addition to the buzz of your social life and your jealousy about your friends’ success, there is a quiet voice inside you that actually knows which path is right for you. When you walk this path, you never need to be jealous, because the path itself is the goal.
How can you hear a voice that represents your true inner self? To be honest, this is difficult. In our time, we are surrounded by a society that constantly tries to distract us from this. One of the rules of thumb is that this “voice” usually only encourages us to do what we are genuinely interested in. And he will never induce us to do something out of fear or the need to catch up with others. If you think, “I need to go to law school because my parents say that, or I’ll be a failure,” then this is not your inner voice. As a rule, this is the voice of your parents, society, acquaintances and your own superficial self-criticism.
You need to spend some time alone and think carefully about what you are really attached to. It can be difficult at first if you’re not used to it, but it’s an important skill. This will help you on the path to living your true life. And when you live your real life, then you lose the desire to envy.
4. Catch yourself thinking when subconsciously comparing with people
You need to break the habit of comparing yourself to people if you want to get rid of jealousy. As we discussed, you don’t get anything by comparing yourself to others, because your lives cannot be compared. They are completely different. We do not all climb the same mountain, not even close.
So be careful when comparing yourself to others. Catch yourself thinking as you do this, and think about what led to it? Why do you feel jealous at this moment? Is there any fear within you? Does the fact that your friend got his dream job or bought a new car makes you feel like a failure? The more you consciously observe these thoughts, and analyze them as they arise, the easier it will ultimately be to eliminate them.
5. You should not exalt people in your own eyes
Another common problem is the urge to put other people on a pedestal. Maybe your friend or acquaintance has done something meaningful in life and achieved great results. But that doesn’t make it special. Perhaps he knows something that you do not know. Or I have been honing certain skills for a long time in order to achieve success. But that doesn’t mean that he is special or better than you. You don’t have to be in awe of someone. Make friends and communicate with other people as equals, and do not elevate people in your own eyes.
6. Think about what you really have in common with your friend.
If you find it difficult not to envy your friends’ success, then think about what you have in common? Remember that friends tend to be similar when it comes to personality traits. Most likely, there are no huge differences between you that could prevent you from achieving what they have achieved. Again, just make sure you really want to achieve these things. And that you are not just trying to “catch up” with them in order to satisfy a false sense of self.
Finding common ground with friends is extremely important when it comes to sharing your success.
7. Be open to learning
To get rid of envy, you need to become an open person. If your friend has something that you sincerely and truly want to achieve, then be open to learning new information and ask how he achieved his goals. It is the opposite of jealousy and envy in many ways. An envious person does not want to admit his shortcomings, and is afraid to ask for help. And you try to look behind your envy and turn it into curiosity.
8. Life is full of possibilities
You and your friends will constantly move along your paths in life. Everything will change, and your friends are likely to have new achievements and victories. Just like yours, but in a different area. You should get used to this, and understand that life is full of opportunities, and you will definitely achieve the desired results in life. Therefore, stop tormenting yourself with the question of how not to envy the success of your friends. Start living your life.
You need to understand that many achievements, especially material ones, are fleeting. In the end, we will lose a lot that we have gained in life when the time comes to leave for another world. So don’t take it too seriously and live in joy.