How to understand that this person is not your match when it seems so?

telwoman | April 21, 2021 | relations

In youth, it is believed that there will be the most beautiful love story in life – one and for life. But, unfortunately, reality differs significantly from youthful dreams. And this also has its advantages. At least in the fact that with each new relationship, the chances for the very main meeting of their ideal love increase … True, falling in love and plunging headlong into new feelings and emotions, many forget to evaluate a partner, including the mind. It is an objective assessment and an adequate look at the actions and qualities of the chosen one that will help not to make mistakes, will not turn another acquaintance into a sad experience, but will give the opportunity to create a strong relationship with a person who suits you in life.

Defining criteria for selecting a partner

Of course, in order to determine whether your half is in front of you, you need to clearly draw up for yourself the main criteria for choosing a chosen one. At the same time, it is better not to dwell on their appearance – very often, girls who like blue-eyed blondes passionately fall in love with a macho with a Latin American appearance and create a couple with him that is harmonious in all plans. Growth and everything with love also fade into the background. It is better to pay attention to the fundamental qualities of a person that will be important for you when choosing:

character and temperament. Calm girls will be more comfortable with a male leader who will lead through life and make all the important decisions. A choleric person can be bored with a melancholic person, and the combination of two pronounced choleric people will become a real explosive mixture. You need to choose a partner who will complement you in a pair – the best options for relationships will be in the choleric-phlegmatic, choleric-sanguine, phlegmatic-sanguine, sanguine-melancholic unions;
partner’s age. For yourself, you must determine the acceptable boundaries of the age difference with the chosen one. Psychologists advise focusing on the 7-year age gap as a couple. At the same time, although large numbers threaten to have more misunderstandings and misunderstandings, there are many examples of happy couples, the age difference of which was much more than 10 years;
the presence of common interests. This fact will help you get closer to each other faster and will remain a strong bond in a pair for a long time;
the same life priorities and goals. This is not about the fact that you want a house, and he wants a car. You will discuss this as a couple. The main thing is that both partners strive for their own development, see the need to improve the quality of life, etc.

And yet, a careful assessment of a guy’s readiness for a relationship deserves special attention – his ability to communicate, a desire to listen to and hear a partner, a desire to make your life happier, surrounded by care and attention, etc.

What you cannot agree with in a relationship

In addition to the predominant characteristics of the future chosen one, it is also worth thinking about those qualities, the presence of which in a person should immediately discourage you from continuing any relationship. These anti-criteria include:

obvious narcissism, selfishness and narcissism of the guy;
lack of his own opinion and dependence on his parents (too close connection of the son with his mother, etc.);
the presence of addictions – stop living in adolescent idealistic pictures in which you manage to change the bully (drunkard, drug addict, thief, etc.). In life, everything is much more complicated and, if possible, try to protect yourself from this kind of acquaintance, giving your feelings to a worthy person and receiving the desired return from them in the form of sincere love and support;
lack of goals and plans for life – with such a partner you will always have to be paired with an engine, taking upon yourself not only the creation of goals, but also all the solution of problems associated with their achievement.

Everyone can also add their own taboo qualities, which will become an obstacle to harmonious relationships and show you that this chosen one is not your person.

The main signs that your person is near

By the way, in order to understand that you have met your soul mate and the happiness of your whole life, it is enough to note in your relationship the presence of such signs:

you are comfortable together. At the same time, you do not need to seem better and restrain yourself in everything, so as not to lose face. Your chosen one loves you for who you are – with all your pluses and cockroaches in your head. Such relationships give lightness and a feeling of comfort, you definitely feel that you are appreciated, and not appreciated;
the guy is ready to support you in any of your endeavors. Even if everyone around you will dissuade you from some venture, then the beloved, seeing the importance of the idea for you, will certainly offer his help and will support psychologically;
sincere concern surrounds you. This can manifest itself both in a banal morning cup of coffee, or in an arrival in the middle of the night, when you said that you were feeling a little bad. Your chosen one will never forget what you asked for, and will always remember your preferences in food, life, always trying to please you with at least some trifle;
a loving person will be an excellent inspiration for future achievements and self-development. Seeing respect and admiration in his eyes, you will try to achieve even greater heights in order to become better for yourself and to please your chosen one;
you also notice that in the relationship your partner has changed a lot for the better, striving to match you as his ideal and inspiring both of you to new goals;
you constantly hear compliments from his lips – yes, you know that he loves you, but it’s so nice to constantly hear beautiful words spoken by a sincerely loved person;
your boyfriend knows your dreams and desires, as evidenced by his surprises and gifts, as well as understanding and desire to help you make your main dream come true;
fewer words – more actions. This is how a loved one will prove their care and attention to you;
he is always in control of his emotions without frightening you with aggressiveness or cruelty. You know that you can freely say what you think, and if there is a difference of opinion, a constructive discussion awaits you, and not a quarrel, humiliation and ridicule;
you are completely confident in your chosen one, respect and trust live in your couple;
you have a lot in common – from hobbies, interests and to work moments. You can consult with the chosen one about your plans in business or together discuss important issues for your future. What can we say about rest – after all, you like the same sports, similar hobbies and mutual friends with whom you love to spend time so much;
he always emphasizes that in his future there is only room for one woman – for you. This emphasizes the seriousness of his intentions and the sincerity of love;
the partner takes responsibility for solving problems and does not shy away from obligations;
you have a complete idyll in terms of intimate relationships. Here you also feel that you have met your person who suits you in temperament and who sincerely loves you;
a man treats you with respect, listens to your opinion, does not try to raise his own self-esteem at the expense of your qualities or your couple;
your family and friends notice the happiness in your eyes and see the promise and reliability of your relationship;
you are comfortable not only to communicate, but also to be silent. After all, you understand all the gestures and views of the chosen one, and for complete happiness, the simple presence of your loved one is enough for you;
you perceive a person with all his pluses and small minuses, without getting annoyed over trifles and completely accepting his individual oddities.

The main confirmation that your choice is correct and you are building a relationship with your person is a huge feeling of love and affection that does not leave you.

How to know you’re not made for each other

To understand whether a person is right for you, you need to pay attention to those facts that, at the beginning of a relationship, cause you negative emotions and rejection. It can be:

the specific smell of the guy’s body;
unpleasant and annoying habits;
lack of initiative and passivity in a couple;
problems with sex;
lack of common topics for conversation;
the need to constantly monitor yourself with a guy in order to meet his ideal;
fundamental differences in life views (religion, family, relationships, children, etc.);
bad attitude of the chosen one to his parents (yours or yours), etc.

Better try to predict your future life yourself. If you are honest with yourself, then most likely you will not see anything pleasant there. Then is it worth wasting time, health and emotions on a person who does not suit you. In this case, your early epiphany protects you from unnecessary pain and brings the hour of a new acquaintance with a worthy partner closer.