How to understand that you are being manipulated and how to deal with it?
One of the best ways to deal with a manipulator is to ignore and avoid contact with them. You need to make sure that this person does not appear in your life. In the event that this is your husband – file for divorce. If he’s a romantic partner, ditch him. If it’s a friend, break up the relationship. Perhaps this is a colleague, then avoid contact with him / her. Do not worry and think that by your actions you will offend someone or hurt someone. Although it may seem strange, manipulative people do not have a sense of resentment.
Practical advice on how to master manipulations
Keep calm and control your emotions
To cope with a manipulator, it is very important not to lose control of yourself. Manipulative people can secretly attack you. This is very annoying and can make you angry and angry. But don’t let this happen. Because if you lose control of yourself, it will get worse. And by doing this you will simplify his task for the manipulator. You should always remain calm when emotionally attacked.
Do not react to the words and behavior of the manipulator. Just start paying less attention to it. Or, if this is your loved one, then say the following: “Let me know when you want to talk normally.” Act as if nothing terrible is happening. Transfer your attention to something else, and do more important things. Because if you let him influence you now, then he will use this tactic over and over again.
When dealing with a master manipulator, hide your anger and don’t let it control you.
Don’t try to change his behavior
You cannot change a person. You can only change your attitude towards him. Therefore, do not waste your energy trying to fix what is beyond your capabilities. Attempts to change it will ultimately end in failure, causing you to be depressed and frustrated.
No matter how good your intentions are, you won’t get anywhere. You won’t be able to control other people’s behavior, let alone character structures. If you want to help a person, then only help those who really want it.
Never argue with him
The next tip on how to deal with a manipulator is not to come into conflict with him. Most manipulators are very cunning people. Therefore, one cannot be honest with them. Honesty and open communication, they just don’t understand. So don’t waste your time pointing out their bad behavior. They are not interested in your words anyway. They pay more attention to your actions. When you ignore them, it undermines their self-confidence. As a result, they understand that you are not the right victim.
Manipulators are experts at hiding their tracks. Therefore, if you complain about their bad behavior, they can easily deny it and will minimize their bad behavior. They will say something like this: “you misunderstood me,” or “it was just a joke.”
They will deny their behavior in order to “hook you.” Therefore, if you feel that the person is mistreating you, just silently increase the distance between them. The distance you create between you and the manipulator should depend on how badly they harm you.
Never say that you know their real nature. Any knowledge you give about yourself will be used against you. Hide your feelings of hurt, pain, and anger. Show that their games do not affect you and that they are not important enough to elicit an emotional response from you.
Don’t believe the manipulator’s excuses
Master manipulators use certain words to hide their true selves or gain information, but they never express their real self. Thus, any explanation for their misbehavior is unlikely to be true. Therefore, you should not believe the words of the person whom you suspect of manipulation.
Don’t join his game
Another important tip on how to deal with a manipulator is not to start counterplay with it. Don’t try to manipulate him. He will definitely win because he has more experience than you. Resist the temptation to compete with the cunning manipulator or try to outsmart him. You will not only demote yourself to his level, but you will also begin to waste your energy on protecting yourself. Better just defend yourself.
Dealing with a manipulator – preventive measures
Manipulators quite often use various services, gifts and free meals as a form of bribery – so that you are more inclined to give them what they want. So avoid free meals or generous services so you don’t have to return them later.
Know your weak points
By not knowing your own weaknesses, you are putting yourself at double risk. You need to be confident about what you yearn for in life, what you don’t have, and what you want to change. Knowing your own weaknesses can protect you from being manipulated. For example, if you suffer from acne and you don’t like your skin, then you should not tell anyone other than someone who can suggest a solution to the problem. But don’t publicly announce that you don’t like you, and why. Manipulators seek to gather information about things that cause pain in people, and then use this knowledge to humiliate them.
You also don’t need to tell other people that you love a certain person. Love can be a weakness and anyone can use this knowledge against you. So, once you identify your flaws and weaknesses, try to hide them as best you can.
Be mindful of the people you let into your life
Every day we meet new people and create close relationships. Therefore, it is important to remember that all manipulators know how to create a good first impression. Unfortunately, we quite often take them at face value, and take them lightly. But this is not the case with manipulators.
You must check every new person you let into your life. Especially those who have a financial or romantic interest in you. In most cases, the master of manipulation will give vague, evasive, or conflicting answers about his personal life. So be suspicious of such people and check them well.
The more you love a person, the greater the risk of manipulation.
It is very dangerous to blindly love and trust a person. Although there is nothing wrong with loving someone deeply. But you must remember that love gives a person great opportunities to manipulate you. Therefore, if you really like someone, first try to make sure that he has a good character and does not harm you. And if a person lies to you constantly, breaks promises, and you stop trusting him, then you must end the relationship with him.
Try not to discuss with others that someone is manipulating you.
Trust your gut feeling and do not listen to other people, because they may not be honest with you, or they will give you the wrong advice. After all, it is unlikely that they really know how to cope with a manipulator, and how not to succumb to manipulation. Instead, seek professional help and support. Listen to your heart and intuition. Be careful when choosing the people with whom you are building a relationship. And then there is a high probability that you will not be able to be controlled and manipulated.