When we hear the word “infantile,” we imagine an adult who cannot cope with life on its own. For example, to make decisions, he needs to turn to the older generation. This pathology, we think, will not affect us. In fact, infantilism comes in many different forms. It can be a negative and violent reaction to failure or fear of building close relationships. It turns out that this is a childish reaction already in adulthood. In this article, we will figure out what the consequences can be for children’s behavior in adulthood and how to get rid of infantilism.
Signs of infantility
The thoughts and character of an infantile person are very similar in content to those of children. The immaturity of the individual is noticeable both from the point of view of society and from the point of view of mental development. Psychologists identify several main signs of infantilism:
- A person cannot exist independently. This is a pretty serious sign. An adult cannot cope with various daily household chores. He wants to ask for help all the time, for example, to his mother. His act is often irresponsible and thoughtless.
- The person has bad control over time. This applies to both work moments and personal life. It is as if it is difficult for him to remain within his own biological rhythms. He cannot go to bed or wake up on time, as if someone should help him with this.
- An adult is not in the habit of explaining exactly what he needs. For example, you might make an appointment with a friend and then be offended and rude for the entire meeting. In fact, you didn’t like that she was 15 minutes late, but you didn’t tell her about it, you just decided to be offended. Your companion has no idea why you are angry.
Infantilism in men
Infantilism in men is manifested much more often than in women, psychologists say. How can you tell this apart?
- He has no fixed salary. Such a man is often responsible only for himself, because he does not have a wife and children. He can easily afford not to pursue a prestigious and permanent job, only to find funds for a living wage. Often sits on the neck of one of the parents.
- He often lies and does not keep his word. Doesn’t like to take responsibility. It is easy for such a man to make promises, because in the future he forgets about them.
- A family with a very domineering mother. This is a controversial factor, sometimes mature men grow up in such families, but quite rarely. If the mother “puts pressure” on the boy in childhood, then it may threaten with mental disorders. Someone can grow up to be very aggressive, and someone – on the contrary, a quiet henpecked without their own opinion.
- Dresses like a teenager. Clothes reflect what we have inside. Infantiles like to dress either too brightly or in school clothes. It’s very strange when a grown man is dressed like a boy, you will definitely notice this.
Infantilism in women
Infantilism in women is less noticeable than in men. Society is not accustomed to condemning her, because many people like, for example, the image of a naive girl, even if a woman is 50 years old. How to recognize a lady who is prone to childish reactions?
- If a woman acts like she is a little girl, which is not age appropriate. You will notice grimaces, round eyes, and raised eyebrows. In a relationship, such a lady will also choose a childish position, ask others to take care of her and make decisions for her.
- The woman believes that men should solve her problems. They should give her money, be smart, strong and kind. Such ladies often either find themselves a rude man who does not perceive her as a person, or they rush all their lives in search of the perfect specimen.
- Such women are sure that they must be weak, otherwise the opposite sex will be scared away. Stereotypes help to hide from adult life for a long time. There is no need to become free, independent, to move up the career ladder. You can remain a child under the pretext that men like these girls.
How to get rid of infantilism
Now let’s move on to practice and figure out how to get rid of infantilism. Best of all, a complete change of environment, which can change attitudes and priorities, helps in this matter. First, imagine how others see you. Think about your skills and actions. Try to critically evaluate your own actions. You will find that an adult with childish habits often annoys others. Now you can start working with the settings:
- Formulate your opinion on all aspects of life that concern you. Form a system of values and principles, and then do not deviate from it.
- Try to understand yourself. Take a piece of paper and divide it in two. Write down your strengths, weaknesses and traits. Try not to deceive yourself. Then look at the list and decide what exactly you want to change.
- Try to be aware of what’s going on in the world. Look for logical connections to understand why this or that happens. Engage in broadening your horizons: read, visit exhibitions, watch a movie.
- Cultivate critical thinking and try to get rid of naivety. Understand that in reality there are many difficulties that must be overcome. Learn to argue your opinion.
- Become self-reliant. Choose your food and clothes, do the cleaning, do not shift responsibility for your daily routine to others.
- Set realistic goals and go for them. Understand that you have to be held accountable for whatever you do. Be more reserved and serious.
Now you know how to get rid of infantilism and why it is worth doing it. If a person lives with childish joys and looks, he will not be able to become truly happy and free. The road to maturity is often not easy, but it’s worth it. The ability to independently build your life and choose what you want is what you need to strive for in order to become confident and mature. You can also work out these or other questions with a specialist – for this you can make an appointment with a psychologist on our website.