What experiences have you had in past relationships? Have you thought about your mistakes? What did you understand after breaking up? What lessons have you learned for yourself? These questions need to be answered first of all, as soon as emotions and feelings subside after parting. Think about the situations where you were wrong and what steps you might have taken from your side. To better deal with jealousy, infidelity, and other problems in past relationships.
1. Learn not to take the blame for all problems
Both a man and a woman should take equal responsibility for the problems that arise in the relationship. Under no circumstances should you think that all quarrels and misunderstandings are related only to your behavior. Take one or more days and think about the situations that led to the deterioration of the relationship. As a result, you will find that you and your former partner did not pay enough attention to each other. Therefore, there were so many problems between you.
2. Don’t let other people influence your relationship.
Letting other people and outside factors influence relationships is a mistake many men and women make. Here are some classic examples of how this happens:
- The girl begins to doubt the guy, just because her friends don’t like him;
- A man allows himself to be influenced by friends and relatives. And he proposes to the girl, even if he is not yet ready to bear the marriage duties;
- Your friends, loved ones and relatives regularly give advice on how to behave in a given situation.
- Breaking out of past relationships will suddenly make you realize how your surroundings can negatively affect your life and your relationship with your partner.
3. No need to sacrifice your own happiness
Reflecting on your past relationship experiences will make you realize how useless it was to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of the relationship. Your own happiness is too precious to sacrifice. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone. You should never forget about those things that make you happy. So don’t forget about it next time.
4. Understanding what you really want
Experiencing past relationships will open your eyes to recognizing your own needs. Be it commitment, love, happiness, or freedom. You will be able to define exactly what you want out of the relationship, but you didn’t get it. Think about the breakup and find out exactly what you were missing. Don’t dive into small details and arguments. Look at the big picture to determine your basic relationship needs.
5. Sometimes you have to compromise
Every man and woman has a set of morals and beliefs that generate expectations from other people, including their partners. Getting out of a failed relationship will help you understand these basic mores. These are various situations that you do not want to agree with. Suppose you broke up with your boyfriend because he wanted to start living together literally a month after they met. But you are against such a rapid development of events. Which ultimately led to the breakup. Apart from this example, there will be dozens of other things that people disagree with. Therefore, it is the experience of past relationships and their introspection that will help you understand when you should compromise and when you need to stand your ground.
6. Seek early warning signs of unhealthy relationships.
Strong attachment to a person can blind people. They refuse to accept problems because of the simple belief that everything will be fine. For example, a girl may ignore the fact that her boyfriend is increasingly avoiding her calls and messages. And even when intuition says that he is losing interest in her, she continues to assure herself that everything will be fine. If you are such people, then learn to trust your inner feelings.
7. Don’t let it take you for granted
The funny thing is, people don’t realize they are being taken for granted until the relationship is over. Awareness comes to us only after we “from a bird’s eye view” see how this relationship has deteriorated. But if you and your feelings have been taken for granted in a previous relationship, then thinking about how you could have avoided this situation will be extremely helpful. It will make you mentally stronger and help draw the line between being a loving partner and being taken for granted.
8. Know When to Require Commitment
Commitment is a big problem when people are just starting a relationship. Some of us like to define commitment levels early on. While others like to put off talking about problems for as long as possible. Making commitments too late can cause people to drift apart. And too fast, can alienate a person suffering from various phobias. There are no fixed rules that determine when to talk about commitment and commitment to a partner. Only the experience of past relationships will help you better judge when it is necessary to raise this issue.
9. Learn to deal with common relationship problems
Jealousy, selfishness and disrespect are typical relationship problems that all couples face at one time or another. Such harmless problems can escalate into conflicts that ultimately destroy love. The experience of past relationships shows that we must fight these problems and remain calm in any situation. Think about how you can avoid engaging in seemingly harmless fights. Which subsequently developed into more serious problems.
10. Communication is the strongest support
Communication is critical to the survival of any relationship. Blogs, magazine articles and various guides will repeat these golden words over and over. And reflections on past relationships and their bad experiences will only confirm this fact. You will understand that you need to talk with your partner about everything that worries you, if of course you want to be together happily ever after.
11. The importance of physical intimacy
Past relationship experiences tell us that meaningful sex and sexual compatibility play an important role in the relationship between a man and a woman. And the lack of physical intimacy will definitely lead to separation. Therefore, do not try to set up sexual barriers or refuse sex with a partner. You will not achieve anything good by this.
12. Learn to enjoy wonderful moments
Petty disputes in a relationship often seem to be really meaningful. But it is they that become the cause of subsequent conflicts, and do not allow people to fully enjoy their relationship. But as soon as you part, and remember these minor arguments, you will realize that you were simply wasting precious moments in your life. This realization does not come immediately, but be sure to remember it. In order not to get involved in unnecessary quarrels with a loved one in the future.
13. Learn to give and receive respect.
Respect is an important thing, especially in the relationship between a man and a woman. Everyone likes to receive respect, but few realize that it needs to be earned. It takes a lot of effort to earn the respect of a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. But losing it is easy enough. For example, even the most caring guy can completely become different for a girl if he raises his hand to her, or cheats on her. Plus, giving respect is just as important as getting it. And this is one of the most powerful ways to show gratitude for your partner’s love.
14. Don’t change yourself and your values.
People make the mistake of cheating on their values just to keep their partners happy. Unfortunately, we understand this only after a difficult parting. But even if you choose this path, and try to please your partner, then in any case, do not betray yourself and your life priorities.