Problems in marriage exist even in families that seem ideal from the outside. This article is devoted to the analysis of mistakes in relationships that both men and women make. This material will help you understand the psychology of your husband, as well as look at yourself from the outside.
Top 5 worst mistakes women make in relationships
What is the essence of the problem. Every day a woman solves a large number of problems both at work and in the family. You need to get the children to school, resolve the conflict situation at the workplace, go to the store, cook dinner and do the cleaning, check the kids’ homework, and the husband is also waiting for attention … Familiar to-do list, right? But the most important mistake a woman makes is that she does not put caring for her husband first. That is why a man feels lonely in the family, and the result of this is problems in marriage.
What are the ways to solve. Next time you invite your family to dinner, pay attention to who you feed first: children, husband or yourself? Correct answer: husband.
Review your usual behavior and start paying more attention to your beloved man. When he comes home from work, be sure to meet him, offer him a snack, and then ask how his day went. When your husband is talking to you, put matters aside and listen carefully. It is very important for a man to feel attention and care from a woman. If you are attentive to your husband, he will not create problems in the marriage and in the relationship between you, because he will appreciate them.
Excessive moodiness and expressing dissatisfaction
The main problem in marriage with such behavior. There is a fine line between the usual feminine whims, which seem pretty cute to a man, and between capriciousness as a character trait. If you tend to be overly critical of your spouse, their work, habits, hobbies, and personality traits, this is not good for your relationship.
Solutions. Your husband is an established personality, and it is useless to try to remake him. When you married him, he tried to appear better than he really is. Most people do this, both men and women. If your spouse’s personality has changed during the marriage, it means that he trusts you and feels as comfortable with you as possible. Any criticism must be justified. It is very important to choose the right words when criticizing a loved one. If you do not like some of your husband’s actions, talk about it calmly, do not create problems in the marriage out of the blue. Sometimes the truth is easier to tell with hints or humor.
Removing litter from the hut
Why shouldn’t this be allowed? Women love to discuss family life with their parents and girlfriends. In this matter, being too frank will not do you any good. Imagine how your husband would feel if he accidentally finds out about the details of your life from third parties. In the worst case, your spouse will completely stop trusting you.
How to behave properly to avoid problems in marriage? Never tell strangers about family problems or quarrels, do not give a negative assessment of your husband’s actions. When your relationship improves, your spouse will again become the best person for you, and in the eyes of others, he will remain the same as you described him in moments of grief. In an extreme case, the quarrel can be mentioned in passing, after the reconciliation, but without giving details. If people are expected to tell you about family life, tell about family events or funny stories from your life.
Tendency to take on a masculine role
What are the disadvantages of such a role. A woman often tries to solve on her own the problems that a man should deal with. Sometimes wives explain their behavior by the pathological laziness of their husbands. In this situation, it’s not about laziness, but about the strength of a woman’s character and unnecessarily high demands. Next to such a woman, a man cannot open up and feel like the head of the family.
To avoid further conflicts, a man voluntarily gives the “reins of government” into women’s hands. The problem is that in such a family a man cannot fulfill himself, as a result of which problems begin in the marriage, and this can lead to the fact that such a family can collapse.
How to solve a problem. If you notice that you often take on the male role, then it’s time to change this situation. Agree: your husband was originally a completely different person, therefore, changes in his behavior cannot appear instantly. In any situation, behave the way a woman should behave.
Be patient and kind to your husband. Do not follow the lead of public opinion, thinking about what matters in the family are male and which are female. There are families in which the husband is engaged in cooking and cleaning, and the woman is the director, and at the same time such families are very happy.
What are the dangers to a marriage relationship? Women are by nature very sociable. Sometimes it seems to the wife that complete mutual understanding reigns in their relationship with her husband and there are no taboo topics. But in any marriage there comes a moment when the wife notices: the more she tells her husband about herself, the more indifference he shows … Is this a problem for the marriage? Of course, but how to avoid it.
Solutions. It is very important for a man that there is a mystery in a woman. Even if he has lived in the same house with this woman for 30 years. Your appearance should be neat and well-groomed, even if you’ve been at home all day. Before your husband arrives, fix your hair and use perfume. Swap out your favorite old shorts and stretched T-shirt for a simple yet cute home dress.
Top 5 worst mistakes men make in relationships
Lack of participation in family life
What is the main problem in marriage? A man can be so passionate about making money that he agrees to any part-time jobs and overtime work. After such an intense labor marathon, the head of the family often prefers to rest alone, sleep off, or more often spend time with friends (for a favorite hobby, watching movies – underline the necessary).
During the first few months, a woman usually enjoys the increased income and even tries to take on some of her husband’s household responsibilities. Over time, she begins to feel unnecessary, self-esteem falls from lack of attention, fatigue accumulates from the abundance of household chores. In the family, mutual understanding deteriorates and the number of quarrels increases, which means that serious problems begin in the marriage.
Lack of support in everyday worries
The cause of the problem is in the marriage. Women differ from men in increased emotionality. That is why they often worry about events that men do not even pay attention to. For example: an unsuccessful haircut, a burnt pie, another bad grade from a fifth-grader son, a quarrel with a neighbor, a broken microwave oven … A man usually listens to a woman’s complaints and replies that this is all nonsense that needs to be stopped paying attention. Over time, the wife begins to think that her husband has lost interest in her and is not at all interested in her life.
How to behave correctly for a man? When a wife tells her husband about her experiences, she expects to receive understanding and support. Try not to dismiss female conversations. Listen carefully to your wife and ask a few questions about your situation.
Lack of tactility
The crux of the problem is marriage. Remember how important hugs, kisses, and casual touching were at the beginning of your relationship. Remember how you stroked her hair, how you held hands.
In marriage, romance is replaced by domestic concerns, but your wife still remembers those sensual moments. A woman always expects attention from a man, including in the form of touch. Lack of tactile contact worsens the relationship between spouses, they gradually begin to move away from each other.
Inappropriate topics and ways of conversation
The main difficulty for marriage. Over the years of family life, people get so used to each other that they allow themselves to have frank conversations on any topic. The conceived husband can freely discuss with his wife the details of the intimate life of friends or the appearance of other women (even if from the negative side). Your wife may be offended that you generally think of other women, but she will never tell you about it. In some families, men use rude language in conversations with their wife, even if they are not addressed to the woman herself. At first, it seems that such conversations indicate the maximum trust between the spouses, but in reality they only bring harm.
Solutions. Remember how you behaved at the beginning of the relationship, how you tried to be gallant and impress your wife. This tactic of behavior should be followed in the future. If you really want to discuss frank topics with your wife, be as correct as possible, then avoid misunderstandings and problems in marriage and relationships.
Lack of close emotional contact
How it can affect the relationship. Family relationships are like a fire that can quickly go out if no firewood is thrown into it. In this case, joint emotional experiences are the “firewood”. An ordinary family life according to the scheme “work-home-weekend-summer cottage-mother-in-law” can get bored very quickly. As a result, not a trace remains of the former passion.
Ways to overcome. Dedicate at least one day a week to get out together. You can set aside a few hours to watch an interesting movie, go to a movie or a cafe, or visit friends without any distraction. Do those things that will allow you to experience new emotions: play laser tag, go through a quest together, ride carousels. On weekdays, text each other, make little surprises. For example, before leaving the house, you can put a chocolate bar in your wife’s bag. When she comes to work and opens her bag, she will be very pleased. This will help you not to focus on any disadvantages, and, accordingly, avoid problems in marriage.