Conflicts usually don’t end well. However, they are a good opportunity to strengthen relationships, and make our life richer and more interesting. Therefore, it will be useful for each person to learn how to manage various disputes, as well as to find out what strategies for resolving conflicts exist. And maybe even use them to your advantage.
Don’t let conflict rule you
Conflict resolution is a really valuable skill that needs to be used correctly. But before doing this, you need to understand its cause. People who are able to overcome conflict become more successful in the future. But conflict resolution strategies depend on the situation. Some need to be resolved immediately, while others can and should be allocated more time. Resolving a conflict with peers can look very different from a conflict with your boss at work. So you need to apply a different approach to each situation.
Types of conflicts
A popular misconception is that conflicts only occur between two or more people. But the internal conflict of a particular person can be much stronger, and it is not so easy to identify and resolve it. So, before you try to resolve a dispute with another person, make sure that you have no internal conflict. This is when you feel unhappy for no apparent reason. Therefore, it is important to deal with personal issues first before blaming other people.
For example, you have a goal to buy yourself a new apartment. You work hard and make good money, but you use it completely wrong. You spend money on frivolous things like dining and entertainment. In this case, your behavior does not correspond to the established goal. This creates an inner conflict that will generate negative feelings. So you need to take full responsibility for yourself and you should not blame someone else for your failure. A simple understanding of the problem can give you enough knowledge and motivation to resolve the conflict.
How to identify inner conflict
Let’s say that you paint pictures and want to become a famous artist, but you clearly have trouble judging other people in different situations. In this case, to resolve the internal conflict, you need to change your behavior and attitudes towards other people. A great solution here is to create a new goal that is less significant at first. You need to let people criticize your work. Then the new goal and associated set of behaviors will remove the root of the inner conflict.
Note that in this case, the solution is to create more specific goals. In other words, being a great artist is a goal. But accepting criticism and advice is a specific, achievable goal that will help a person achieve the final desired result. Such insights, gained through introspection, lead to personal growth and development. A deeper understanding of your personal beliefs, goals and values can prevent future internal conflict. After a person has resolved an internal conflict, it may be helpful for him or her to apologize to people they have hurt because of their personal problems.
Since prevention is always better than cure, predicting the causes of external conflicts will be easier than trying to constantly deal with them. But in the event that the problem could not be prevented in advance. It may be that conflict resolution strategies such as assertive communication, respect, commitment, and self-confidence can make the conflict less serious. The great thing about confident people is that it is very difficult for them to lose their composure. They always react to the situation appropriately and insist on their own. Develop self-confidence until it becomes second nature to you. The hardest part is being persistent when things get hot. Therefore, practice calmness in the same way. Decide now to break your old habits and commit to creating new ones. Learn to manage your thoughts and emotions. Stop blaming other people. Be a strong and fair person.
Sources of conflict
Conflicts can be caused by various reasons. As a rule, differences in beliefs, expectations, values and behavior are the main reasons. For example, if you take an ordinary family. The husband wants to save on something, collect more money and buy a good car for the family. The wife, in turn, wants a new car now. Plus, she doesn’t like to save. In this case, a conflict may arise, and it will continue until the values of these people are the same.
Basic conflict resolution strategies
There are two main common tools for resolving conflicts: compromise and cooperation. Each of them will be useful in certain situations. Compromise is a simpler tool and is effective in improving relationships. This means that both sides make concessions and abandon their previous demands. It is also called the “midway meeting” conflict resolution strategy.
Collaboration, in turn, suggests that conflict occurs over differences between people. But it requires a more progressive approach to solving the problem. Collaboration requires all parties to be 100% satisfied. The division of labor is an excellent example of collaboration. For example, one company cannot create certain appliances for the home, grow food, provide services, and conduct electricity in our homes. We are all dependent on other people and share responsibilities with them. This is exactly what makes our interactions more efficient and cohesive. Collaboration exploits differences in skills and builds on a shared belief, value and purpose. For this reason, it is a good idea to start a family with someone who has similar values but a very different skill set.
Conflict management stages
You need to stop seeing conflict as an obstacle, but rather as an opportunity. These changes will give you the ability to manage conflict. For conflict resolution strategies to be more effective, you first need to learn how to communicate correctly. This skill will help you prevent conflicts with other people. One example would be replacing the statement “you”, which can be interpreted as an accusation or insult, with “I”.
Also, ask more questions. Before speaking, ask questions to understand the other person. Do this with those people who are involved in the conflict. Then list the possible solutions to the conflict. Just don’t limit yourself to obvious questions. Allow all participants to contribute to the conversation and choose the solution that will satisfy everyone. Just try not to vote when resolving a conflict. Because voting can create alienation and rejection of the situation.