If you are reading this article, then in your life there was a break in relations with your loved one, or everything is heading towards this. If this happened to you, then you experienced a lot of negative and stressful feelings. Most of these emotions are normal and occur in many people. Plus, you had to fight your negative thoughts to get out of your depression. After all this, you probably started to wonder if there is a new life after breaking up. Let’s talk about this in more detail.
How to deal with your emotions
A new life after breaking up may seem impossible at first. Indeed, after a breakup, a common emotional state is deep depression, which can cause strong negative thoughts and feelings. In severe cases, you may need to see a doctor who will prescribe antidepressants for you. Generally, after this, you can expect an improvement in your emotional state. Many people suffer from depression after divorce, but it will surely go away, and you can continue to build new relationships.
If you start to think that the breakup is caused by your inability to build relationships properly, then this is not the case. In most cases, both partners must take this blame. If you feel helpless and do not understand what to do next, then you should definitely start to be active, communicate with new people and build a new life. Find new sources of emotional support and people with whom you can have fun and joy. There is definitely a new life after breaking up, and you can calmly build a happy and long relationship with another person.
People often experience feelings of anger or revenge after separation, especially if it happens suddenly. You feel abandoned and humiliated. Everyone experiences these negative emotions, but you should try to force them out of your life. These feelings will not bring positive emotions into your life, but will only interfere with building new relationships.
Constantly thinking about your spouse’s negative attitude towards you will only increase your depression. You shouldn’t allow yourself to think about how to get revenge on the person. Since this will only lead to your humiliation, in addition, it can lead to legal proceedings. Therefore, you will only harm yourself, and the situation will not change. The best revenge would be to start a new life and not think about the past. In addition, your children can be greatly affected by such actions. Think about how you would feel as a child if you were surrounded by constant quarrels and family conflicts?
It’s normal to feel lonely and less attractive after a breakup. Above all, try to embrace the feeling of loneliness. Learn to see the positive side of it, and then go outside and enjoy your freedom. Eventually, you can start a new relationship, but only after all your feelings and emotions have cooled down.
In order to deal with negative emotions, you can apply the following tips:
- Learn about typical feelings and feelings after a divorce, and try to be prepared for them;
- Read books on divorce for a variety of tips;
- Keep in mind that you will have strong negative feelings for a long time. And in some cases, this process can take up to several years;
- Keeping a journal will help you uncover your negative feelings and release them.
- Try to see the positive side of your breakup and realize that there is a new life after breaking up;
- Know that fate is in your hands and only you have the right to decide what it should be.
- If you are unable to cope with your emotions, you should seek professional advice. They will provide you with emotional support, comfort, and care.
Realistic and positive thinking
You can deny the breakup, especially if your partner has unexpectedly left you, but you will have to face reality anyway. Be aware of this and analyze the current situation. The problem is that you only see the negative side and imagine that certain events matter more than they really are. This can lead to regular, negative behavior.
If you feel hopeful and you constantly have thoughts such as: “I believe that my ex will return to me” or “I will still be happy with this person and he will love me.” Then in real life, most likely, you will not find the prerequisites for this. So you must have a realistic view of the current situation.
Redefine the expectations of your marriage and replace them with other hopes and feelings. You will succeed if you do not think too much about your spouse and put aside the possibility of reconciliation. And there is no need to fantasize about the renewal of the relationship. Talk less with your friends about this situation, do not think about the place and do not threaten your ex with legal proceedings. It’s also helpful to remove items that remind you of your partner. Learn methods to stop negative thoughts and develop positive thinking.
How to get out of this situation
Understandably, you feel completely overwhelmed by the situation. Your energy is at a critical level, you are passive and do not want to do anything. You think that a new life after breaking up is an illusion, and you will not be able to start all over again. But this is not the case, you need to change your thinking and attitude towards this situation. You can make a small plan for how you will get out of this. It is generally a good idea to start with small tasks that can be broken down into small steps. After completing these tasks, you will have initial feelings of success, you gain self-confidence, and you will have the motivation to take further action. You must pay attention to your strengths and your skills.
Of course, family and friends can help you as well. You can find emotional support, practical help, or childcare opportunities (if available) from them. Sometimes it happens that relatives may not take your side. Then try to find friends who can still support you.
In some cases, parents cannot help you because they do not have all the information they need. So try to tell them frankly. You should think about the financial support and alimony that a man must pay you if you were married. Try to find organizations that can help you with work, study and new knowledge.
If you need to learn more about financial literacy, there is also enough information and organizations that can help you with this. Start attending more different exhibitions and events. Chat with people and make new acquaintances. Make sure to devote enough time to your sleep, proper nutrition and not neglect your health.
Just don’t be ashamed to seek support. You may meet people who have already been in a similar situation. They will share their knowledge, and will be able to confirm the fact that a new life after breaking up definitely exists. You will receive emotional support from them and sometimes practical help, such as childcare, or other help with ordinary household chores.