In most cases, ignoring people can be viewed as a human defense mechanism. And despite the fact that psychologists have identified many psychological defense mechanisms. However, the most frequent and instinctive one is ignorance. In fact, this mechanism is not appropriate in all cases. Because when we avoid or ignore people, we refuse to acknowledge the problem we need to solve. And no matter who or what caused the problem, it should not be avoided.
This is a very uncomfortable situation where people ignore you. A person who is often ignored feels that this is happening on purpose and other people just don’t like him. Although, in most cases, this is not the case.
Does ignoring solve any problems?
In certain situations, ignoring people can be reasonable behavior. Because it gives you and other people time to cool off and reflect on your actions. But in other situations, ignoring the person can make the problem worse. By ignoring the other person, in most cases we simply postpone solving the problem. By deliberately avoiding people, we get a false sense of control and superiority.
When is it unacceptable to ignore another person?
Avoiding other people will be unacceptable if it is based on our incompetence to negotiate a compromise. And we don’t know how to come to an agreement that will solve or at least minimize our problems. There is also the so-called tactical ignorance. This is when we, for example, ignore a child who is showing their anger, resentment, or frustration. Thus, we actually deny the problem of incompetence in raising children, and postpone its solution.
Ignoring people or a person will also be unacceptable when it is the result of our insensitivity to the feelings of others. Explicit rudeness is absolutely unacceptable in this case. When we ignore a person with the intention of humiliating and hurting him, then in this way we only cause contempt and disrespect. No educated person will do this. By ignoring the other person, we can provoke the following reactions:
- Discontent and anger;
- Disloyal behavior;
But is it really wrong to ignore people? In this case, it must be said that ignoring people is not always something bad. After all, it often happens that in order to avoid conflict, we are often forced to ignore a specific person or group of people. By ignoring them, we can view our act as a desire to behave with dignity and remain sober. And there is nothing wrong with that.
Reasons People Ignore
Why do people avoid and ignore? There are many reasons, both acceptable and unacceptable. Let’s take a look at both. Ignoring people can occur in cases when people are worried about something, and are in deep thought, and at this time we approached them and start a conversation. In the modern world, men and women are constantly preoccupied with something. Perhaps they recently had an important conversation that needs to be considered, and now we want to distract their attention. As a result, it leads to ignorance on their part.
It often happens that a person simply did not hear you. Perhaps there were a lot of people and noise in the room at that time, or he was wearing headphones and simply did not hear you. This can happen to anyone, but this does not mean that the person is doing it on purpose. It also often happens that a person may be embarrassed at the moment and hesitant to answer. Therefore, he decides to avoid you.
Inappropriate or malicious reasons are also common and easy to identify. In this case, people are ignored even if you try to get the person’s attention several times. That is, he deliberately ignores you and leaves the conversation.
Signs that you are being ignored
1. You are always the first to start a conversation.
In other words, the person never writes or calls you first. Any relationship, be it friendly, working or romantic, is like a two-way street. And in order for them to be rich and harmonious, both people must pay attention to each other. When this is not the case, or someone starts to ignore the other, then conflicts, quarrels and misunderstandings arise.
2. The person starts to answer for a long time
Perhaps at the beginning of your relationship with this person you were doing well, but lately you have begun to notice that he responds to messages for too long, or does not respond at all. He does not make contact with you well, and you get the feeling that he simply avoids communication with you.
3. The person interrupts meetings
Perhaps when you are next to this person, his gaze constantly sticks to the phone. He constantly looks at his watch, and after a short time says that he needs to leave. Arguing this by the fact that an event occurred that was not included in his plans.
4. The person is always busy
The most popular tactic for ignoring people is to say “I’m busy.” Yes, it may well be that a person has a lot of things to do because of study or work. His life cannot revolve only around you. But, if this happens on a regular basis, then this is not normal. After all, if a person wants to spend time with you, then he will find ways. It doesn’t matter how much his schedule is jammed. This behavior shows how interested he is in you.
5. He answers simply and briefly.
Perhaps the boyfriend or girlfriend is still answering your calls and messages. But when did you have a long and open conversation with this person? The same conversation that can last for hours. When you just don’t notice how time flies by.
What to do when we are ignored?
First, try to understand if there is something you did wrong or said? Think about what could anger a person or cause people to ignore? If, after thinking about possible situations, you still don’t find any reason why the person is ignoring you, then move on.
You should understand that when we find ourselves in a situation where we are being ignored, then we can also participate in ignoring and hope that soon everything will change for the better, and time itself will solve the problems. Or, we can initiate a solution to the problem ourselves and talk to a person. You can openly ask him: “why are you ignoring me?” You can ask this question both orally and in writing. And based on the answers, you will need to decide how you can influence this situation and change it for the better. Most people are likely to report certain problems they face, so you will need to work together to find solutions to those problems.
If this does not happen, then you need to understand yourself. As a rule, people start to ignore if their opinion is not considered or respected. Therefore, you need to change your attitude towards the people around you. You don’t have to think that you are the best and that everyone else is worse than you. Because people on the inner level feel the attitude towards themselves. Therefore, if we are too bloated and unwelcoming, then people will naturally avoid us. Therefore, be sure to pay attention to your internal problems and start solving them.
To be fair, I must say that we were all ignored by someone. But we are also not perfect, therefore, it may well be that over the years of our lives we have ignored other people. So with that said, I believe that when a person tries to ignore it becomes a problem to be addressed. Otherwise, everything may end with the emergence of even greater problems or the usual parting. So don’t be afraid to solve problems and face challenges. As a result, you will only become stronger and wiser.