Should you date a man with a child?
Many guys find it difficult to build successful relationships for a variety of reasons. The main reasons are past failed relationships and single parenting. It is psychologically difficult for such men to enter into a new union. But this does not mean that they are bad fathers, or it is not possible to build a long and happy relationship with them.
Lonely fatherhood and its common causes
There are many reasons why a guy with a normal temperament, good manners and a great job stays with the children himself. In most cases, this is due to past failed relationships and divorces. Divorce in this case does not mean that the person cheated on his wife, abused her, or hurt her. Many things can lead to divorce of a perfectly decent person. Sudden changes in life goals and incompatibility of people are also common causes. So lonely fatherhood is far from uncommon these days.
Death of a spouse
No one is immune from death. And she can come at any time, both to the elderly and to young people. Anything can lead to human death. And, unfortunately, it often happens that children are left without parents, or only with mom or dad.
The guy was never married at all
There are many bachelors who have children out of wedlock. Various circumstances can also contribute to this, especially with young people. But even in such a situation, a man is able to fall in love with a new girl, even if he was not married.
He will devote more time and attention to his children.
Many women usually choose to start a family of their own. Therefore, a relationship with a single father scares them a little. Although there are girls who find such a relationship romantic, even though the partner has children. But in order to establish a meaningful relationship with a single father, a woman needs to understand certain subtleties.
Single parenting for men is a difficult test. And their main responsibility is children. Therefore, in any case, he will give more attention and love to them. This does not mean that he will not love you. But a responsible father will still look after his children more and protect them at all costs. Such dads, as a rule, spoil their children a lot. Especially if they are girls. Therefore, it is quite obvious that they will be jealous of him towards other women.
You will need to establish a trusting and friendly relationship with your children.
When there is trust between people, as a result, their relationship develops much better. And, if a woman enters into a relationship with a single father, then it is important for her to establish friendly relations with children. Try not to impose your views, and do not enter into conflict situations with them. Better give them a helping hand when needed. This will create a more comfortable relationship between children and you. Over time, they themselves will ask for your advice. Because they will begin to respect you and become more friendly. And friendliness and support will ultimately lead to trust between you.
But in any case, do not try to push the child into a forced friendship, and do not succumb to aggressive behavior. Keeping personal boundaries allows your child to decide whether they like you or not. You won’t be able to impose friendship or acceptance, no matter how hard you try.
Competition with children
Do not put pressure on children and do not make demands, try to be patient. Also, avoid unnecessarily competing for their father’s attention. Competing with children for his attention is a failed strategy. And, most likely, it will lead to the end of your relationship. Therefore, try not to interfere with their family time.
Remember that any decent father gives priority to his children and family. So the struggle for attention with children can only lead to disaster. His children will always have an edge over you. And you shouldn’t take priority over the children in the eyes of the father.
Don’t show too much affection
There is nothing wrong with being kind and considerate to your loved one. But the expression of excessive affection for both a man and his children can be perceived as a desire to be liked.
Children, especially small ones, are offended by the manifestation of closeness from unfamiliar people to their father. It only reinforces their belief that you are trying to take their father away from them. Therefore, try to minimize physical intimacy with a man, especially in the presence of children.
Affection and intimacy should be limited until you develop friendships. Although even then you will not be able to take the place of their mother.
Respect their family time
A good father always devotes enough time to his children, regardless of the presence or absence of a mother. Therefore, disrupting their family time will send negative signals and messages to both the man and his children. The struggle for his attention and affection will only have negative consequences. A woman should understand this simple rule and treat this man like a father and not like a lover.
When a trusting relationship is established between you and the children, then you will receive an invitation to their circle. Which in turn will indicate that they are willing to share their special moments with you. Joining their family circle should develop naturally.
Get to know this person better
Take a close look at the guy you want to be in a relationship with. Because he can be a good father. But this does not mean that he will become a good husband and a comfortable romantic partner for you. You need to understand that single parenting doesn’t go unnoticed. Therefore, it is likely that he may have a complex character. Or he may be wary of women.
Never rush to enter into a relationship with such a person. Try to understand the true circumstances that led to his independent fatherhood. After all, there are often cases when the real mother of his children appears in the future. And then a very unpleasant situation arises.
Also, avoid married guys who claim to have difficulties with their wives, so they have to raise their own children. If they are not officially divorced, then it is likely that he is cheating on you.
Most fathers are reluctant to share their children with their new women. So let them keep their boundaries. And over time, developing trust and understanding, they will let you into their lives. Maturity, patience, friendship and honesty are the main helpers in building a relationship with a single father. Remember not to compete with children for male affection and attention. Give them more opportunities to be together. Offer your help and support and they will definitely accept you.