Recently, I have been getting a lot of similar questions: “Should I forgive cheating on my boyfriend or girlfriend?” “My partner cheated, should / should I give this person another chance?” “My boyfriend / girlfriend was having an affair, what should I do in this situation?” Today I want to analyze these questions in more detail, and write about what could happen next if you forgive or do not forgive the betrayal of your partner.
What will happen if you forgive treason?
1. You both get one more chance.
If you decide to forgive your boyfriend or girlfriend, then both will get another attempt at a successful relationship. Both – because not only the partner who committed this act is to blame for the betrayal, the second partner is also to blame for this. And, as a rule, it lies in the fact that he did not pay enough attention to the relationship, or did not satisfy her / his needs. You should also understand that second chances in a relationship are deliberate. And, if you think that this person and your relationship deserves it, then you can give it another chance.
2. He / she will respect you even more.
Forgiving the person who cheated is the ultimate sign of love and devotion. If this infidelity experience was a temporary lack of meaning and your partner still truly loves you, then they will respect you even more for their decision to forgive. In fact, it takes a big heart to forgive a person for even the slightest deception, not to mention betrayal in a relationship. And there is no doubt that your partner will regain respect for you for love and devotion.
3. Your consciousness will become stronger
“Should I forgive infidelity in a relationship?” Why should / should I do this? “Do you really need to give him / her another chance?” These are the type of questions that will arise in your mind when you are faced with this difficult situation. But as soon as you understand your priorities and values, then your consciousness will become more enlightened, and you will have a new outlook on life. And the fact that you understand the situation will make you psychologically wiser and stronger.
4. You will have to rebuild trust.
If we are talking about whether to forgive cheating in a relationship, then you need to understand that you will again have to build trust with this person. After all, there is no doubt that infidelity will lead to a decrease in trust between you. Therefore, before you forgive a person, you must be ready to restore trust in the relationship. Because any union turns into a terrible nightmare when there is no trust between people. Therefore, you will need to think in advance how you can restore it.
5. The past can constantly haunt you
Our brains are not a hard drive from which selective memories can be easily removed. The human mind is replete with thoughts and emotions that constantly affect the current state of mind. Therefore, the decision to forgive a friend or boyfriend must be deliberate and reasonable. Because in the further daily life you will have unpleasant memories that can lead to quarrels and conflicts.
6. People will talk behind your back
If you accept your boyfriend or girlfriend’s apology, then there is a high probability that your acquaintances and friends will start saying bad things behind your back and will judge you. Therefore, you should be prepared for the fact that some acquaintances will treat you differently. But don’t worry about what people say and what they think. In this situation, you should be more aware of yourself and your desires.
7. It can happen again.
Why would anyone cheat again? Answers can range from something as evil as money, lust, and disrespect to something too simple. Acts of kindness and forgiveness are often used against us. And they are perceived by some people as a sign of weakness. Your partner may think, “I got away with it once, so it will do the second time.”
What will happen if you do not forgive treason?
1. You will have to part
Cheating and treason is the highest form of betrayal. And if you see that your partner doesn’t regret it, then it is possible that breaking up may be the only way out. The breakup will not bring much benefit or benefit, but sometimes the damage from continuing a relationship with such a person can be too serious. So if you think there is absolutely no chance that you can forgive your partner, perhaps the only solution is to break up.
2. Parting teaches a lesson
If you choose not to forgive your girlfriend or boyfriend for cheating, then the breakup is likely to teach that person a serious lesson. The end of your relationship will be a serious blow to your partner’s mind. And the results of such an act will constantly remind you of the possible consequences of deceiving someone in the future.
3. Feelings of hate and anger can flourish in your mind
Treason and infidelity are “emotional daggers that seriously injure a person’s heart.” And quite often the wound becomes so serious that it cannot be ignored. So if you cannot get rid of the feelings of anger and hatred, then the chances of reconciliation are slim. Even if you want to forget this episode and move on, the feelings of anger and hatred will remain hidden in your wounded heart. And they will “go outside” quite often.
4. Belief in love and devotion will decrease
“Why did he / she do this to me?” “What have I done to deserve this?” Questions like these will haunt the person who has been cheated on. And if you are, then most likely your faith in love will temporarily diminish. If you choose not to forgive your partner, you will subconsciously look at all your future relationships with suspicion. Getting through a divorce or breakup isn’t easy, let alone cheating. And it will take a while before your faith in love returns to its essence.
5. After a while, you will return to your usual life.
“Time heals wounds” – and it really is. And no matter how difficult the situation seems, all people experience it and move on. And no matter how difficult life may seem now, the smile will return to your face, and life will again be fun and interesting. After all, after a while you will start meeting new people and start building new relationships. And there will definitely be loyal and honest people in your life.
What to do next, and whether to forgive infidelity in a relationship?
In fact, there is no single answer here. To forgive or not to forgive treason is exclusively your right. But if you choose not to forgive, then you must leave this relationship. The mistake of most people is that, having not found the strength and ability to forgive their soul mate, they also do not find the strength to leave. And it is at this moment that all problems begin.
Therefore, if you feel that you do not find the strength inside to forgive a person for betrayal, but you also understand that you cannot continue to live without this relationship. Then, first of all, you should think about what you can do to work through this situation within yourself. You need to minimize your hurt and suffering. And if you want to preserve this relationship, you must definitely “throw out of yourself” this offense.
If you have found the strength to forgive a person, then you can safely stay with him. And your relationship could get even better. I knew a relationship in which cheating, oddly enough, was beneficial to the couple. Therefore, the answer to the question of whether to forgive treason or not? – simple! If you feel you can do it, then goodbye. If you cannot forgive, then leave!