Some men want to reunite the family after a while. Does it make sense to return to your ex-husband or is it better not to step on the same rake? To find the answer to this question, it is important to consider the following factors:
- the reason why the divorce happened;
- what motivates a person who wants to return;
- what life circumstances indicate that reconciliation is impossible;
- on the contrary, which confirms that it is possible to make peace, and the preservation of the family makes sense.
Why do men leave
As a rule, there is no smoke without fire, so husbands do not just part with their wives. Psychologists identify 7 main reasons why representatives of the stronger sex decide to leave the family nest:
- Men are by nature hunters, and if the object of desire goes into the hands of itself, does not resist, then the excitement disappears. Usually, women completely devote themselves to everyday life, replacing erotic underwear with a shapeless nightie.
- which is more important for men than for women. It is important for a spouse to feel like an alpha male, which is absolutely impossible next to a cold wife who finds a lot of reasons to refuse sex.
- next to her, the other half feels like a loser. Such a woman does not please, she is always unhappy with everything, while it is extremely important for men to hear praise.
- This is a fairly common reason voiced during divorce. This also includes different values, worldview.
- Such an act on the part of a beloved woman can completely kill male pride.
- It is interesting to note that the indecisive partner will live with the family, and leave the new lover in the role of mistress. A mature and responsible man confesses everything to his wife and leaves her.
Why are exes coming back?
According to psychologists, every fourth man wants to return to his ex-wife. What drives them:
- Often, the male sex wants to return to its former comfort. He is accustomed to the fact that the house is cozy, the chosen one takes care of him, ironing shirts, preparing his favorite dishes, taking on the payment of utilities, etc. where it was good and comfortable. From this point of view, the partner is not so bad, and the requests are not as high as it seemed before;
- If the reason for the divorce was a mistress, then parting with a homeowner can push you to reunite with your wife. Walked up, tried to live with another woman, was disappointed and realized that he was in a hurry with the decision to divorce;
- It happens that the ex-husband cannot survive the separation: melancholy, melancholy finds him. The longer a married couple has lived under the same roof, the more they have in common, including family traditions and memories. After the divorce proceedings, it is more difficult for men to start life from scratch, especially if the man is over 45 years old, since he spent most of his life next to one woman. Emotional attachment to children and the chosen one will attract him back;
- If a lover leaves and comes back from time to time, then this behavior is a kind of rest before new adventures. In this case, there is no question of love. The family for him is a transit point where you can clean the feathers.
Accept or not?
When reunion is impossible
Three factors can be distinguished under which in no case can the relationship be restored:
- Often it is because of this that she renews contacts with her ex. The fear of being alone is so strong that she forgets about all the insults and disrespectful behavior on his part. But soon the spouse’s behavior will manifest itself again and the relationship will be spoiled again.
- For example, the ex-spouse was a drinker, did not miss a single skirt, became addicted to gambling and continues to do so, then it is foolish for the fair sex to hope that after the reunion everything will change.
- Living with a hateful person for the sake of children is the worst thing that parents can do, who cannot live together.
The right to a second chance
Often, the gap affects the spouses in a positive way, after reconciliation, partners begin a new, improved family life. If you both realize you’ve made a mistake, it makes sense to try to get back together.
In this case, the proof of the seriousness of the intentions of each partner will be their actions aimed at getting rid of the problem that caused the divorce. For example, if the head of the family disappeared at work for days, which his wife did not like, then the sincerity of his desire will be proved by a change in his job. If he regularly drank alcohol, then he will visit the doctor, etc.
It is a good sign to maintain friendly relations after the dissolution of the marriage. It is likely that positive communication helped to look at each other with new eyes, draw appropriate conclusions, and understand your chosen one.
Everyone can be wrong. There are no desperate situations and problems that could not be solved. Give your chosen one a chance. If there is love in a relationship, then you can always return harmony and peace to the family.