The concept of early marriage is not that long ago. After all, if we turn to historical facts, then we can immediately recall the very young princesses who were married off, rather, to a crown, and not to a prince. The same customs were also among the poor population, trying to improve the status and position of their family at the expense of beneficial kinship. Early marriages are also less talked about now. When young people are more and more guided in life by the principles of developed European countries. And there, just in time, they treat the creation of a family very responsibly and are in no hurry to tie the knot without a certain support and base in the form of education, a successful career, their own housing, a car and other benefits that will protect the new cell from unnecessary financial problems. Early marriages were most popular at the end of the last century. This can be logically explained by the growing emancipation among women and freedom of relations, which have become massively declared by Western films that have flooded TV screens. Wanting to keep up, our youth also hastily began to try to change principles and foundations. What is just an open discussion of sexuality, despite the fact that, as they said, there was no sex in a big and powerful union. The desire to become adults faster, to surrender to completely overwhelmed passions in the complete absence of appropriate sex education has become almost the main reason for early marriages.
Today, early marriages are also widely found in our country, and even more so in countries with higher religious traditions, allowing everything to be decided for the children, and with lower moral values. Let’s figure it out together whether such alliances are so bad.
What kind of union can be called early
For a start, it’s a good idea to more clearly define the boundaries of the concept itself. From the point of view of jurisprudence, an early marriage can be considered to be entered into by underage adolescents. In many countries, there are age discounts for marriage in the presence of special circumstances, the most common of which is an unplanned pregnancy of the bride-to-be. The public is disposed to refer to early marriages and the age of up to 20 years. And the argument in this case is the couple’s unpreparedness for a serious relationship – psychological, physiological and material. True, in this case and from this point of view, many marriages concluded even after 30 years can be safely attributed to this category, more meaning by the word “early” not young in age, but immature. Such marriages look even earlier compared to the deliberate decisions to create a family for couples after 30, with a solid baggage of their own achievements and a willingness to devote themselves to harmonious relationships.
Causes of early marriage
Since both minors and adult partners can be attributed to early newlyweds, the reasons for such sudden marriages may be different.
Minors are more often brought to the registry office by the following factors:
- ignorance of young people about the consequences of the onset of sexual activity and always unexpectedly occurring in such cases, pregnancy. At the same time, there can be four options for walking down the aisle. First, a guy may be afraid of legal responsibility for having a relationship with a minor girl. Secondly, a young partner may be afraid of the attitude towards her from relatives and the public and will rush to legalize her love as soon as possible. Thirdly, both the guy and the girl will apply, sincerely happy that they will soon have a baby. Fourthly, the expectant mother will agree to any marriage in fear of not being left alone with the child;
- love or being in love. At this age, it is very difficult to separate these concepts and adolescents honestly believe that they have such feelings for life. And if you add to this an insatiable desire to constantly see, hear, communicate with a partner, then it becomes clear the desire to legitimize your relationship as soon as possible. And in this, in fact, there is little incredible. Indeed, from the classics, cases are known when minors were ready to die because of love, so what can we say about the opportunity to enter into a legal union.
In addition to the above, early marriages between the ages of 18 and 20 include a number of other reasons:
- the girl’s fear of being left alone with the child, which pushes her to get married even in case of pregnancy after a one-time casual relationship;
- problems with parents. At the same time, two models of family behavior are equally repelled from home: when parents constantly find out their relationship with each other, but they do not pay attention to their daughter, or when they overly interfere in her life, controlling every step and decision. In such cases, the girl will try to quickly get out of custody, seeking to find understanding and freedom in her own family;
- unhappy love can also be a drain element if you want to start a family early. Having been rejected in past relationships, many guys and girls strive to start a family as soon as possible in spite of their former chosen one. Needless to say, what such fatal experiments can lead to;
- a subtle calculation that can be observed in couples where a young girl marries a foreigner or a wealthy man much older than her. In this case, we are not talking about love – there is more of a banal way to quickly and easily make your life rich. But it will be a stretch to call her happy;
- desire to become independent. There are also such young partners who perceive the creation of a family as an opportunity to make their life self-sufficient and successful. By the way, it is in this case that something good can be expected from this union.
Disadvantages of early family creation
The disadvantages of early marriages, first of all, are:
- the suddenness of decisions made, when they go to the registry office a month after they met, and two days after the wedding they begin to wonder if there was love;
- physical, emotional and psychological immaturity, in which a purely childish perception of the situation makes it difficult to properly respond to circumstances, causing resentment, tears, quarrels, runaways to parents and leading to divorce;
- incompatibility of characters, which is quite understandable with a short time of acquaintance. Evaluating the chosen one only by external qualities and the ability to look after people, many are not ready to open their beloved from the other side. Moreover, not only purely everyday habits, but also views on life can turn out to be completely diametrical;
- financial difficulties. It is only said that with a lovely paradise and in a hut. But in fact, everyone wants to build their love, without thinking about how much money to rent an apartment for, what to buy clothes for and where to get finances for food. In such situations, girls very quickly learn to nag their husbands about a small salary, with which they, in turn, struggle with rudeness and betrayal;
- physiological and sexual incompatibility. The passion that initially covered both of them will gradually subside further. And then the features of each will immediately become noticeable – the guy may be more fixated on the sex itself, and the girl will lack romance. Lack of understanding and inability to negotiate will lead to conflicts and the search for suitable partners on the side, which does not at all contribute to the strengthening of the marriage;
- unwillingness to replenish the family. At first, pregnancy is perceived as a natural continuation of their love, and young couples are even interested in trying themselves in the role of parents. But they don’t think that this role is for life. And that because of the emerging child, they will have to rebuild their own lives, not only in terms of night vigils over the cradle, but also refusing to go out with friends, night parties, limiting time for hobbies, etc.
Benefits of early alliance
Of course, many of the shortcomings apply to some extent to all marriages. In addition, one cannot fail to note the advantages that early unions can carry:
- young age can be one of the benefits if the couple tries to work together on the relationship. It will be easier for them to adapt to each other, adjust habits, create traditions of their family;
- powerful emotions. Agree, a gentle and touching bride really looks like a princess from a fairy tale. This is how she feels herself – in a wedding limousine, a luxurious dress and next to her handsome husband in a suit with a needle;
- youthful maximalism can interfere, but it can also help to cope with everyday difficulties more easily, not paying attention to everyday problems and minor disagreements;
- creating a family with an understanding of responsibility for oneself, a partner and a child makes them grow up faster and become independent;
- early marriage often helps to save a partner from addictions, limiting contact with bad company, forcing them to change habits and lifestyle;
- being married will be a plus for a guy when looking for a job. It is believed that such men are more reliable and responsible, therefore, it is the married ones that are given preference for employment. Unfortunately, this principle does not apply to girls – a young age for any employer serves as a kind of risk of pregnancy and maternity leave.
The consequences of marriages between partners that are too young
When talking about the consequences of early marriage, you need to objectively assess all the factors. Young age can serve as a guarantee of good health and flexibility of character, necessary for grinding partners in the beginning of life together. At the same time, too early sexual activity and childbirth before the age of 17 can be dangerous not only for the girl’s health, but also pose a direct threat to her life. A young family can also influence the development of personality in it in different ways. Some, under the weight of problems, drop out of college and struggle with poverty all their lives. On the contrary, such conditions stimulate others to self-improvement and to discover new facets of their knowledge. One thing is for sure, if the young husband and wife do not try to hear each other, they will not be able to be happy, and soon their marriage will end in divorce. A kind of guarantee of a harmonious family life can be counseling with a psychologist who will deal with the problems of a young family and help find their right solution.