The friend asks for money: how to buy and give up without a load?
I think every person has had situations in life when a friend asks for money on credit. And you don’t know how to refuse him without rudeness, and you don’t want to offend him. At this point, you feel uncomfortable and try to find meaningful reasons how to say no. At the same time, you want to maintain friendship. This may be really challenging, but you should remember that money is one of the main reasons people split up and friendships end. Therefore, I want to give you some tips and ways. Thanks to which you will know how to act correctly in such situations.
1) Find other ways to help the person
Depending on the situation, there are various ways in which you can help a friend without having to borrow money. For example, help find a job. In the event that he urgently needs to pay for the rent of the apartment, suggest that he stay with you. In this case, you will prove yourself a real friend, and money will not become a reason for quarrels and resentments.
2) Explain that the principle of your life is not to involve money in friendships
If a friend asks for money, talk about the principle – not to involve money in the friendship. Say that because of them, a conflict may arise between you. Be honest and don’t hide anything. Just don’t make excuses, because every person should have a set of ethical principles by which he lives. They make a person out of a person who is respected and appreciated.
3) Say you are in financial trouble right now.
The easiest way to say no when asking for money is to say that you are having financial problems. Say you have money left before your paycheck. But in the event that your lifestyle is contrary to what you say, such an excuse may be inappropriate. That is, if you pretend that you have little money, but at the same time buy yourself new clothes. Then the friend will understand that you are cheating. And the friendship can end there.
4) Say you spent your money on shopping
If you’ve recently made a long-awaited purchase, explain it that way. That you spent money on a new car, smartphone, bought yourself an expensive suit, or something else. Again, you don’t have to make excuses. Just be honest and tell the truth.
5) You may need to pay off debts
When a friend asks for money, and you have a loan or other financial obligations, then explain that you are burdened with a large debt that needs to be paid off. Say that if you don’t pay, the debt will become even greater and you will have problems. Such words should convince any person not to ask you for a loan.
6) Offer to borrow from someone else
Say that he can ask for a loan from his parents. Or get a credit card from a bank. Perhaps he has things that can be pawned at the local pawnshop. Or he can sell something that he hasn’t used for a long time.
7) Be blunt and say no next time
There are times when people are really in need and you feel obligated to support a friend who has a problem. If you still decide to lend, then say that it is a lump sum. And if after a while he comes to you again with a request to borrow some money, you can say “no” without feeling guilty.
8) Explain that all your savings are in the bank
This excuse can only work if you are over thirty or forty years old. Since few young people invest all their earned money in the bank. If you have money there, then try to explain that you cannot withdraw it now, and suggest other methods of solving the problem.
9) ask when they can pay you back
When a friend asks for money, ask when he can return it. If, for example, he says in two or three weeks, answer that you cannot borrow for such a period. Use your answer as an excuse. This way you can demonstrate your willingness to lend. But with the condition that they will be returned to you within the specified period.
Just say no
Yes, in this case you risk friendship. But if you feel like your friend is using you for money, then you have to take this step and break up with your friend. This is one of those times when you have to admit that he doesn’t respect your friendship. You have to say no if you don’t want to be used.
Have a heart-to-heart talk with him and tell him how you feel how money gets in the way of your friendship. Your honest and straightforward conversation should take money out of your relationship. If he continues to try to manipulate despite your efforts, then you have done your best.
Explain why you don’t want your friendship to depend on money.
Borrowing money from a friend is generally not very good. The fact is that when you rely only financially on you, the friendship begins to revolve mainly around money. Any relationship is based on trust. And money very often becomes a cause for quarrels and conflicts. So it’s important to be able to recognize when someone is trying to use you and to stop it early on. A good way to tell if you are being used or not is to keep track of how much you each actually contribute to a friendship. If there is only one-sided relationship between you, then there is no point in continuing it.