Toxic friendships: yow to recognize and what to do?
Friendship is like a boat that should help you navigate the “rough waters” of your life. And, although, toxic friendship in most cases negatively affects our psychological state, and we can quite live without friends. But having real friends makes our life more interesting and fulfilling.
What is toxic friendship?
Or, as it is also called, toxic friendships are close, platonic relationships that overshadow the light of hope and happiness in your life as they hinder your personal development. It is a friendship that feeds on your positive energy and spiritual harmony. At the same time killing your inner strength. It’s a relationship that leaves you with nothing but heavy, garbage-laden negativity.
On top of that, toxic friendships are hard to spot. However, the longer you stay in this relationship, and the longer it remains toxic in nature, the more difficult it will be to abandon it. This may be one of those things that many people don’t understand. But one day you will wake up to the realization that a lot in your life has been “stolen” or drained of this toxic friendship. And you will only understand this after this toxic relationship makes you start to devalue yourself.
Recognizing the problem
Recognizing a toxic relationship is really tricky. Because toxic friendships are often disguised as ordinary friendships, their toxicity can be subtle. She may hide under the guise of care and intimacy. But there is still a difference between toxic and healthy friendships that are just going through tough times.
All healthy relationships go through good times and bad times. And from time to time “on the road there may be irregularities” that arise even between real friends. But if the friendship is healthy, it will withstand these stormy times. And the hardships will likely allow her to grow further and develop stronger bonds. But in the case of toxic friendships, this will not happen.
If you have a friend who quite often turns to you for help and support, but is very stingy in terms of giving and reciprocity, then you can only have a toxic relationship with him. It is also important to understand that a poisonous friend is not always a hidden enemy. The person who is toxic to you may genuinely want to build a successful alliance with you. However, the consequences of this friendship are mostly negative.
Therefore, if you are involved in a friendship that is stressful, takes a lot of energy and strength from you, then it is likely that it is a toxic friendship. And it’s the toxicity that makes it dangerous to your health. Plus, this kind of relationship can make you susceptible to various psychological illnesses and depression.
What to do with toxic friendships?
Remember, wanting to be someone’s friend does not mean that you have to be someone else. Maybe it’s time to just say no and break up. You must understand that your health, happiness, and the need to take care of yourself should come first.
If you understand that you are in a similar relationship, that this friendship is not only harmful to you, but also harmful to the other person. Then you have no choice but to end this relationship. Though breaking up can be really difficult, whether it’s with a platonic friend or someone you’ve had a romantic relationship with. But in the case of toxic friendships, this is recommended.
But letting go of toxic friendships doesn’t always mean breaking up with your friend completely. If you think it might be worthwhile, then you might consider working on detoxifying the friendship. This journey will take time, patience, determination, and a lot of work. To change this relationship, you must talk to your friend and explain exactly how you are feeling. You must explain why this relationship is harmful to you in its current state. And if you feel that you can absolutely calmly talk about it with your friend. Then, it is quite possible that you can save this union.
What Makes Friendship Healthy?
A healthy friendship is primarily about love and care. This is what makes you feel free. If a relationship with someone makes you feel like you are in bondage, then something needs to be changed. Healthy friendships give you energy and positive feelings. It builds trust and helps you succeed in life.
A true friend will not rejoice in your sadness. He doesn’t want you to be in danger. Healthy friendships are built on trust. When you trust someone, you are probably listening to them when the person offers advice or guidance. But if you begin to realize that most of your friend’s advice and guidance backfires, then it’s time to take a closer look at this relationship.
There is also love in healthy friendships. And not always one friend can help another. But a true friend always has a desire to show love and care. It is also important for you to have a special kind of partnership with the people you allow to enter your inner circle. For me, this means that you and your friends should always move in the same direction. And if you’re going through tough times, having a friend makes you stronger and makes it much easier for you to deal with what is happening. He will always show sympathy, understanding, and support in difficult times.
A good and loyal friend will not make you feel like you are a bad person. When you go through the trials and tribulations in life, all of these things can be a test of true friendship. True friends will be with you in good times and bad, and will never leave you.
I am familiar with toxic friendships, because in the past I have encountered them more than once in real life. I found it difficult to accept the fact that relationships with good people were unhealthy. But in the end, I had no choice but to leave them. Once I thought about it and realized that this relationship cost me dearly, in terms of time, energy and emotional turmoil. I missed many things in my life that I once appreciated, things that were important to me.
I have always tried to please my close people, and did a lot for them. In spite of everything, I spent a lot of time on the phone, listening to one insoluble problem after another. Until I literally began to feel that the burden of my friends was becoming my own. And as a result, I was helpless to do anything about it. Over time, it became so draining that I began to feel unwell, both physically and mentally. Then I realized that I needed to do something. And I had to break off relations with many people.
In my case, toxic friendships have had a negative impact on my life. Emotional and mental exhaustion affected my career, my relationships with family members, and even my health. But thanks to this, I learned to be more careful about the choice of people. Now in my environment there are only those people who positively influence my life. People who inspire me, support me, show respect and trust. Now I feel much better, and I am ready for new achievements in life.