A common question that many clients ask is: “What is destroying a relationship and how can it be improved?” But the fact is, there is no specific reason why love between a man and a woman is fading away and the relationship is deteriorating. This can be either a lack of communication or too high demands of one of the partners. Perhaps they lack trust and true feelings, or one of the partners is not showing proper care. There can be many reasons why the relationship does not work out. But we have selected the most common ones so that you will remember them well and will try to avoid them in the future.
1. Excessive self-love
One of the easiest ways to ruin any relationship is to focus completely on yourself. Recently, it has become fashionable to talk about loving yourself, taking care of your own needs, and putting personal priorities first. This might be a good idea, but only if you want to be alone. A successful relationship requires a certain degree of self-sacrifice. I am not saying that we should not take care of ourselves. But you need to devote enough time, taking care of the needs of loved ones, especially about a loved one.
After all, when you focus solely on your needs, your partner may feel unloved and unnecessary. So make sure you give it enough time and attention. In relationships, people want to feel needed, not abandoned or forgotten.
2. Focus on your partner’s flaws
If you want to understand what is destroying the relationship, then pay more attention to what you are saying to your partner. How often do you pay attention to his mistakes and shortcomings? In fact, it is a fairly common problem in relationships to look for what the partner is doing wrong. But the more often you do this, the more likely it is to ruin the relationship.
Understand that everyone makes mistakes. But why focus on this? After all, if you are busy looking for the shortcomings of other people, then you do not want to notice your own mistakes. And instead of looking for flaws in your partner, it is better to focus on his positive qualities. Also, take care of your own concerns before pointing out other people’s weaknesses. Stop focusing on his mistakes and start working on yours.
3. Lack of attention
Have you ever experienced something else when your partner talks? Or when he tells some uninteresting story, do you want to end the conversation faster and go about your business? So, this is exactly what destroys a relationship. Lack of attention to the partner. After all, effective listening is the most important part of communication. And when you don’t listen, you are showing disrespect to the person. So learn to give your partner enough attention during the conversation. During the conversation, focus only on him. Try to empathize with what he says. Even if you disagree with something, listen to the end, and only then express your opinion. Just don’t start arguing and creating conflict in advance. Instead, try to hear what the person really wants to say.
4. Concealment of feelings
In a relationship, it is important to express yourself, your desires and needs. After all, when you speak the truth, you not only respect yourself, but also the other person. Whether it’s your boss, coworker, friend, or loved one, you must learn to be sincere. After all, hiding your feelings will not help improve your relationship. When you don’t express yourself, you create frustration and frustration. Also, prevent your partner from understanding you better. How can he or she help if they don’t know the real problem? And how can you expect relationships to improve if you don’t communicate normally with your loved one?
5. Manifestation of dissatisfaction
In a relationship, there is nothing worse than whining, complaining, and resenting a partner. Start developing the habit of never complaining. Complaining and whining nullifies all the pleasant things that were between you before. After all, trying to make the other person feel guilty about their actions will not strengthen the relationship. This behavior will only make the situation worse. Again, it all comes back to effective communication. If you don’t like something and want to talk it over, then do it in a positive tone. Just do not complain and blame the partner for everything. Be honest with him in your words and actions.
6. Attitude towards problems
Taking the problems, words or opinions of others too close to your heart will lead to a deterioration in your physical and mental health. What other people say or do is their problem and you shouldn’t be worried about it. When you take them too close to your heart, you become a victim and the other person takes control of you. So try to get rid of it and understand what other people are saying and doing is a reflection of their personality. And it has nothing to do with who you are.
7. Disrespect for a partner
This is what destroys a relationship. If you are in a romantic relationship, then you must value your partner, respect his opinion and desires. You should listen to him first of all, and not listen to what friends or relatives are saying. After all, when the opinion of your parents, friends or someone else is more important to you than your partner, this will lead to serious problems. He will feel unnecessary and invaluable. If something doesn’t suit you in a relationship, then talk it over with your partner rather than asking someone else for advice. I’m not saying that you don’t need to tell your friends and acquaintances about the relationship. It is important not to make their opinions more important than their partner.
8. Deception and lies
When I am asked what destroys a relationship, the first thing that comes to my mind is deception, lies and treason. You may think that you are sparing your partner’s feelings if you don’t say something, or you think that lying will get you out of trouble. But this is not at all the case. You must be completely honest, both with yourself and with your partner. If you cannot speak the truth, then there is no need to develop a relationship with that person. If you can’t be honest with yourself and your partner, then what’s the point in this relationship? Lying doesn’t make any sense, be it love or friendship.
9. Criticism and expressions of discontent
What else destroys a relationship? Of course, quarrels, criticism and discontent. And although there are different situations in life, you need to treat them calmly, and not make a big problem out of every little thing. After all, who can live with a person if he constantly whines, screams and complains? So try to keep a positive outlook in life, whatever happens.
10. Inaction destroys relationships
The worst thing you can do is remain passive and do nothing. If you really want to have a happy and long-term relationship. Then you need to work hard on them with your partner. Stop making excuses that you have no knowledge or time. The whole problem is not desire. If you really love a person and want to be with him, then manifest this with your actions. Show him love, respect and recognition. And he will definitely reciprocate.